


The Lost Realm

by TheWorldInMyHead29



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 62,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWorldInMyHead29/pseuds/TheWorldInMyHead29
Summary: Nya Varner is a SHIELD agent with no memory of her past. Now she's waking up from an accident and being faced with a changing world and of course more danger popping up at every turn. Will Nya find the truth of who she is? Will she accept that the truth is just that - the truth? Will she become the hero her friends believe she really is? And will they be able to overcome their current predicament and emerge victorious?DISCLAIMER: This is a Marvel FanFic - I do not own Marvel or any of the Avenger characters. However, this story is all my own creation. Post Endgame with flashbacks. The only thing I changed is that a certain "dead" character from the film is not dead in this fic. First story so hope you like it.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Authors note: Hi everyone! I hope you enjoy this story! 
> 
> This fanfic occurs post Endgame. However, there is one thing I am ignoring for this fic. Loki miraculously came back. He didn’t split off into another time stream when they went back in time to NY. He came back and will appear in this fic (actual post-Ragnorak Loki). 
> 
> I do not own any of the characters from Marvel. The storyline and original characters are creations of my own however.

Meet Nya Varner: SHIELD agent and adopted daughter of Ian Varner, retired SHIELD operative now turned instructor and advisor. The story goes that Ian found Nya in London when she “just showed up at his house and needed help” - or thats the story he tells. The truth is she just fell out of the sky, literally; right through the roof of Ians flat while he was stationed in London on SHIELD business. Nya had no memory of who she was, other than her name, or where she was from; she had no memories of childhood or parents or anything. If that wasn’t shocking enough, she came plummeting through his roof and didn’t even break a bone - just a few scratches! He knew he had to protect her, she was special, she was just a kid, but she didn’t age much over the years she was with him. She had fighting experience too, and slight control over elements it seemed. He figured she was an Enhanced human individual and took her in and introduced her to SHIELD.

She joined SHIELD not long after and shocked everyone with her skill; she was taken under wing by Agents Romanoff and Barton and with their training and guidance, quickly became every bit as valuable an asset as them. She even met Tony Stark and discovered she had an affinity for tech development and spent many an evening at his lab tinkering on whatever project he or she desired. He was amazed by her intellect and loved her random visits. She also met one Steve Rogers, Captain America. The two spent time together often and became very close, doing missions together, training recruits, or just going out for pizza after a day at work. Fury had her on missions constantly and she was knownfor her ability to get into any locked or guarded area undetected. She was on a mission in Kiev that had her away for a whole month, during that time her fathers expertise was requested on a mission of high importance. When Nya returned home she found a super-soldier sitting by the door to her apartment. She knew. Of course she knew, after all, there was no other reason why her friend would have that super serious face on in her presence. She knew he had come with the news families dreaded: her dad had gone on a mission and it had gone sideways. He was gone.

She grieved. Steve’s visits became even _more_ frequent in the subsequent months because, to her surprise, he was close with her father, having worked with him many times over the years and had sought his advice and training repeatedly. He grieved too. So they leaned on each other and their connection deepened. They became best friends of a sort, confidants, then training partners, mission partners, and eventually - when neither could deny an itch that needed to be scratched in their lives - friends with benefits. They cared deeply for each other; but she would never fool herself into thinking that she could replace Peggy in his heart and he wasn’t fool enough to believe that he could fill the void her blank past and the loss her only “family” had created. But they helped each other cope, they relieved stress… it worked. Until it was too hectic to continue; schedules got crazy and missions ran long, the Avengers were formed and he was constantly away, so they drifted. Which led to one day, she was leaving a meeting with Director Fury, making her way down the hall heading to the SHIELD hangar bay, and she ran into Steve. She could only make her hurried apologies and sealed her promise they’d pick up where they left off with a passionate kiss in an unused office off the hall.

And that was the last they said to each other. The last time these friends saw one another.

She never came back from that mission. He always felt she was out there still; that she was unpredictable enough to have made it. The fact that her mission report was sealed to everyone but Fury didn’t help either. He found himself grieving the loss of a Varner yet again. He missed his friend, mourned their friendship, but never stopped believing she’d show up some day; so he kept looking whenever he could.

Then the Civil War happened.

Then Thanos.

Then the snap took half the universe.

Then he made his choice to remain in the past. To be selfish for once. Just like she’d said before… he’d have to be selfish and take happiness for himself eventually if he wanted a chance at that picket-fence life he had always dreamed of. So he did, and life happened. The world kept turning.

So where was Nya? Little did everyone know that that one mission that went wrong would be the opening to her past and lead her on the mission of a lifetime. Reuniting her with a long lost love, a world ravaged by war, and a final peace that only the truth can bring. No, she’s not dead. Not quite. But she’s about to find out that she’s not who she always thought she was.


	2. Chapter 2

A bright light.

The brightest light she’d ever seen.

Then… nothing. Darkness.

Beep… beep… beep… That’s all she hears. Oddly enough its very peaceful.

Until one day she feels it - the tingle of her power in the recesses of her mind. Somewhere at the edge of the dark void she can sense the tingle of that familiar power. And its building. Greater than she’s ever felt before.

Then all hell breaks loose.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nya didn’t know what happened. One minute nothing, then she was suddenly hovering over the ground in a large room that seemed to be made of glass. Looking down at her _glowing_ blue! _Why am I in a hospital gown? Where is my SHIELD suit? Thats where I was right?_ Her mind is racing as questions keep popping up. _I was on a mission for SHIELD. It was cold. No… I remember heat… searing heat… right?_

All of a sudden, a scream breaks through the fog in her head. Nya looks down to see the glass floor has broken and a dark skinned young woman is falling. Instinctively, she reached her hand out, palm up, and raised her hand. Somehow she knew that would be enough to save the woman. Nya moved her to a pedestal-like section of the floor and made sure she was safely on solid ground before willing her body to lower to the same area. The moment Nya’s feet touch the ground, however, she was surrounded by fierce looking women with spears. _I don’t know what they want! I’m not a threat! I don’t even know who they are - they couldn’t have been my mission._ She kneels immediately and puts her hands on her head, looking down to the floor as a way of conveying that she poses no threat.

“Stop!” A man shouts from the doorway. “Release her!” The women stand down and back away to reveal a man in a traditional African tunic, pants, and sandals. He reached down and held his hand out for Nya to take. “Apologies Agent Varner for the hostile treatment,” _He knows my name?_ “but as you can see, my warriors were not expecting such an explosive awakening.” He ends with a chuckle and gestures to the chaotic room around them.

“I - I dont even know what happened. _I_ did this?!” He nods and looks perplexed but allowed her to continue, “Where am I? And who are you? I was… I think I was on a mission. A mission for SHIELD. But… something must have happened if I’m somewhere I do not recognize. This clearly isn’t a SHIELD base or medical facility. Can someone please explain?” Nya took a seat on a surprisingly plush hospital bed and look hopelessly around at everyone before hearing voice she surprisingly did recognize.

“You’re in Wakanda, Agent.” She looked to my left and see the face of a good friend - her face schooled to present the hardcore, all-business agent she was. “This is King T’Challa, who so graciously allowed you to remain here under the care of the poor Princess - his sister - who you nearly allowed to plummet through the floor.” She motioned to the young girl Nya had lowered onto the platform earlier who, thankfully, was smirking at the perplexed agent. “Shuri, are you ok?”

“Oh believe me… I’m fine. More like shocked but thrilled at the development in your vital signs Agent Varner.”

“How _are_ you feeling, Ny?”

“… Fuzzy.” she chuckle at her friend. “What am I doing here Maria? What happened?”

She went on to explain that the mission had been to shut down a HYDRA nuclear base in Siberia. No one had known there was a faction of HYDRA operating up there, let alone that their focus was nuclear power. Fury had sent Varner and Agent Maria Hill up there with two assault teams of SHIELD agents for an assist. Naturally one of the leaders was Rumlow. He and his strike team were perfect for this kind of black op and she worked well with them on repeated missions, in spite of their brutal violent streaks. They got to Siberia and got in. A scientist decided that if they weren’t getting out then SHIELD wasn’t going to get their info and started to initiate a complete meltdown of the nuclear reactor - the whole place was going to blow. Hill, Rumlow, and Varner had made it the furthest into the base and were right outside the reactor room when the countdown initiated.

Hill stopped and hesitated to continue. “What? What happened?” Nya asked desperately. The way she couldn’t look at her and looked frustrated at the same time made Nya change her question. “What did I do, Maria?”

Her head snapped up and she glared at her friend, “You were a goddamn hero that’s what happened. You waited til my back was turned and slipped into the reactor room and shut the damn door! Locked yourself inside there with a fucking nuclear reactor that was quickly melting down and told me to run and get to the jet.” Her voice was a hiss at this point and Nya felt a touch of guilt at having caused her obvious pain.

But suddenly, she saw it; she saw the room, the door, felt the heat, the terror and sense of duty. She knew right now, in this moment, that she had made the only choice they had. Sacrifice over survival. Nya looked up at Maria with a resigned look on my face and sighed. “You know we would have all died if something hadn’t been done. Don’t look at me like I made the worst choice in the world! Hell, you work with Cap and don’t call him an idiot for what he did. I made the only choice there was to make…. I'd make it again and again. You’re here. Thats the silver lining. And hey, I’m still here too!” she laugh a bit and look at her but she wasn’t laughing. She looked uncomfortable. Like somethings not right. Nya turned to catch her reflection in a piece of machinery to her left and notice nothing out of the ordinary so she turned her attention back to Maria and raise an eyebrow in question.

“Nya… yea you did survive… but you _shouldn’t_ have survived. It was a nuclear blast! You know what… Shuri? Run diagnostics off the video of her waking up. The blue energy she emitted from her skin… could it be nuclear?” she asked and looked toward the Wakandan princess who nodded in response and walked to the wall of computers on the other side of the room. “Anyway… Nya - when we found you it was _three days_ later! You’d been trapped under the wreckage. We couldn’t go in because of the nuclear residue. But you were fine.. well, when I say fine I mean there wasn’t a burn or scratch on you, but you were unconscious and wouldn’t wake up. I had you transported to a SHIELD med facility in Russia and had them monitor your condition; I really thought you would have woken up. But you didn’t.”

“So… I’ve been out of it for a little bit, so what? When did I get here?” suddenly she pieced together Maria’s reluctance to talk. “Wait… how long Maria? How long was I out?”

“Almost 9 years.”

“Wha-What?” She couldn’t believe what she said. If it weren’t for everyone watching her response carefully she would have thought that she was being punk’d.

“I thought you would have woken up a year ago when everyone came back but you were still asleep in that hospital bed in Russia. So i brought you here. SHIELD had recently made nice with T’Challa and since Wakanda is a land of technological advancements, I asked for them to house you and watch over you. If anyone could bring you back it would be them.”

“What do you mean ‘when everyone came back’?”

“Nya… you missed some stuff… some _really_ big stuff.”

“Tell me.”


	3. Chapter 3

After her awakening, Nya decided to leave, branch out on her own. While recuperating in Wakanda, she was reunited with the surviving Avengers. She and Wanda connected quickly and Nya enjoyed spending quiet moments with the young witch, who didn’t speak much as she was still grieving the loss of her love, Vision. Clint was there only briefly before rushing home to Laura and the kids. After a bit, they all needed to leave - the world still needed the Avengers, afterall. SHIELD still thought she was dead, or rather missing-presumed-dead. Hill had explained everything she could, some stuff about a guy named Thanos and how he wiped out half of the universe. She seemed baffled that Nya hadn’t woken up when Bruce brought everyone back. It didn’t make sense, she had said repeatedly. She needed answers so she went out on her own. T’Challa kindly dropped her wherever she wanted to go in one of the Wakandaan crafts; she chose a small town in Russia to set up shop. She figured if there was a place to get answers, it would be where the accident occurred.

During the past year and a half since waking up she had set up a little lab of sorts where she started her “tinkering” again. Tinkering was a habit she had gotten into once she met Tony Stark. She had a mind for technology, it seemed and was one of the few Tony would let near his Ironman suits. They spent many an evening in his lab designing and destroying quite a lot of machines. Now though, it was weird doing it without Stark breathing down her neck and wondering what she was doing, which would lead her on a hour long explanation and end with him questioning how she arrived at those conclusions. Just thinking of those times made Nya smile. Where was Tony now, she wondered? He was probably tweaking another suit to help on his next avengers mission, thats what he always was doing. She hadn’t pressed Maria for details on the Avengers that hadn’t been in Wakanda and Maria hadn’t offered up details so she figured it was business as usual.

She was working in the “lab” one afternoon when one of her alarms was tripped. She looked up at the security screen in front of her and immediately moved into action. She never received visitors. She typed a couple things into the screen and continued on with her work, albeit a lot tenser.

“Goddamn it!! Seriously?!” She smirked as she slowly turned around to find a bird stuck in her netting and an arrow clattering to the floor through the openings in the netting.

“Well I’ve learned how to better up my security since the last time you visited. In my defense though… the last time was a two bedroom apartment and I couldn’t do much to secure it against annoying hawks.” She chuckled to herself and turned back to her workbench. “What are you doing here Clint?” she said without looking at him.

“Let me out and I’ll tell you.” he said grumpily. The net fell to the floor with Barton still in it but Nya hadn’t done a thing and she knew her traps weren’t that weak.

“Honestly, you learned the worst things from Tony!” Nya heard followed by a chuckle and spun around to the source of the voice, wielding a screwdriver as a weapon. Whipping around she saw the very poised Pepper Potts leaning against the door with a small knife in her hand that she folded up and put in her large handbag.

“Well never thought I’d see _the_ Pepper Potts in a place like this, although its an honor to have you hear Pep.” She got up and went to hug her friend before she continued, “But for the life of me I have no idea what could bring you to this frozen hellhole.”

“Were here to bring you back, Varner.” Clint huffed as he finally extricated himself from her trap. “There’s something you gotta see back home and I ain’t takin’ no for an answer.”

“No can do. Sorry. Not happening.” She said quickly and walked back to her work.

“Nya… please. If I’m here asking you have to believe it’s for a reason - and a good one at that. The Avengers need you. Please. Come back for a bit to hear them out and then you can decide whether you’ll help.” Pepper pleaded and hoped she wouldn’t have to resort to the next tactic.

“You know, Tony would have probably had more success in sweet talking me Pepper. You should have sent him. Coincidentally, why _isn’t_ he here asking me himself?”

“Hill didn’t tell you?!” Clint exclaimed with a panicked look at Pepper.

“What?” Anxiety rising up in her as the hesitant looks being exchanged by her visitors.

“Nya… Thanos… Tony died saving everyone.” Pepper explained in a choked voice.

She could feel a chunk of her heart shatter in that moment. “Pepper… I-I didn’t know. I’m _so_ sorry. If I’d known-“ Pepper cut her off with a wave of her hand before continuing.

“It’s fine Ny. We had 5 easy years between the snap and his death. We finally got married, had a kid, lived a life away from all that hero stuff. I have no regrets. But don’t you make me use his death as leverage to get you to come home.” she added with a slight chuckle.

“I’m no Ironman… Sorry to be blunt but I can’t fill in for Tony. So unless you have more, you guys know where the door is.”

“Kid - you’ll regret not coming with us.” Clint said with an air of knowing in his voice.

“And why is that Hawk?”

“Nya…” Pepper hesitated but after locking eyes with Barton, she steeled herself an continued, “Nya, Steve’s dying. This is your last chance to see him. I know you left things unfinished, but he’s lived a life and you’ll never understand it unless you come home. Don’t have any regrets. Come home, see him, say goodbye, hear the team out, _then_ make your choice.”

Nya was stunned. ‘Lived a life’? What did she mean? He must have been in the fight against Thanos but that couldn’t be what she meant. The curiosity was overwhelming; how does someone kill Captain America? She knew her mind was already made up when Pepper had said his name.

“Fine… give me 10 minutes to throw some shit in a bag and then we’re wheels up.” Turning to face Clint she said, “I’m not promising anything but I will at least listen.”

Clint patted her shoulder and gave her a smile, “Thats all we ask, Ny. All we ask.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I hope everyones enjoying the story so far. Just letting you know that chapters WILL be getting longer after this one as more action and big events happen! Enjoy!

“You sure you’re ok for the night, Cap?” The nurse had just finished checking the monitors and recording the former super-soldier’s vital signs on the clipboard. Looking up at him laying in the hospital bed she wondered if all those memories of watching news reports on the famous Captain America and his work with the Avengers were only dreams. It was nearly impossible to believe that that virile hunk of a man was the same as the frail old man laying before her.

He sighed and looked up at her and smiled, “Nah, I’m all set Claire. Thank you though, for everything today. I’m beat. Gonna just go to sleep I think. See you in the morning.” She smiled back and bid him goodnight, barely able to choke down the words she wanted to say, wanting to thank him for his service and swear the world would remember him. Every night she left this room she feared it might be his last, and today she was pretty sure it would be, judging by the dip in some of his vitals. But she did her job, checked on him, said goodnight and left; he wanted it that way, as peaceful as possible with no worries in his head.

Steve sighed and shifted in bed turning to look at the photos on the beside table. He reached a frail hand over and stroked his knuckles over the portrait of his love, of his Peggy. All he could feel was joy at the memories of the life they got to share. The kids they got to have, the work they got to do, and all the dances they got to share. “You’re slipping. You used to be able to sneak up on me when I was in my prime. Now an old man clocked you standing there, in the dark, with all these machines beeping and whirring in my ears.”

He heard a chuckle come from the shadowy corner and smiled at the light sound that always made him happy and relaxed. “Well I’ve been out of practice. Don’t know if anyone told you but I’m technically still MIA.” The intruder pulled a chair over to the bed and grabbed his hand to cradle against her face as she sat down. “But it seems like you’re not the only one out of the loop Cap.”

“I never thought I would be seeing you again Nya. I thought I’d die before I ever saw your face again.” He shot his signature smile her way and her heart fluttered as it always did.“Where’d you disappear to doll?”

“Now that - that’s quite the story Rogers. You think you’ve got the time?”

The classic challenging raised eyebrow reminded him of all their sparring sessions and made him smirk back at her. “Oh I’ve got plenty of time left Varner. Lay it on me.” She proceeded to tell him everything she remembered and everything Maria had filled in for her as well. When she reached the end of her story, she sat back and let out a deep breath running her hand through her long brown hair. She heard a chuckle from her dear friend and met his questioning eyes. “What?”

“Nothing - just - I knew you’d have that hero moment eventually.” He chuckled but then put on his serious face before approaching the next topic. “But you said you had no idea about the snap - do you remember anything from your coma? A place you went? Anything?”

“Nothing. I mean all I remember was black - like a void. Then the beeping of the medical monitors but thats about it. Why is that the thing that has you confused about my _entire_ crazy story?”

“It’s nothing… well maybe nothing. It’s just, everyone who was in a coma or terminally ill was erased when Thanos snapped his fingers - I’m sure it boiled down to his wanting to eliminate ‘burdens’ on the universe. But they all reported the same sort of experience afterward; they arrived at a bright, yellowish place and floated there. Weird I know but they _all_ said something along the same lines. And Bruce brought them all back - not to the hospital and comas they were in but healthy and alive and alert. You didn’t have that happen… so what happened to you?”

“How do you even know this?”

Steve sighed before continuing, “SHIELD made it a priority to understand the place they all went - the Quantum Realm is what they call it. Sam gave me the info; thought I might actually like to know what they had figured out.”

“Seems I should visit Sam after this…” She said with a smirk “I don’t know Steve. But I’ve been looking for answers for a damn year and a half! I want to know. So I’m gonna keep looking. But you’ve helped a lot. Thank you. Yet again you give me clarity. What would I do without you?” Looking down at his hand in hers, she felt the tears welling up at the thought that she’d missed her best friend and confidant so much. She looked over at the bedside table and smiled at the memories he’d gotten to have. “So… enough about me and my dilemmas. Tell me about the girl…” He smiled at her and launched into telling her about his life with his gal. How he owed Nya so much for being the voice in his head telling him to stay with Peggy and pass the torch to Sam and the rest of the Avengers. She felt a tear of happiness slip down her cheek as he raved about his grandkids and his kids achievements. Nya felt nothing but love for Steve and pure joy at his happy life. If anyone deserved it, it was Captain America.

It was nearing dawn when he ended his life’s story. Nya started fidgeting and preparing to leave, knowing she’d kept him up way too late, but his grip on her hand tightened and she sensed the seriousness in the air. “Nya, there are some things I need to say before its too late.” She tried to pull her hand away from him, like he anticipated but he just continued on, “I know you’re gonna want to brush me off and say something funny to get out of hearing all this but it needs to be said so sit and listen. Nya you’re so much more than you think you are. Ian told me all about his promising ward. He had been looking into Enhanced individuals like you. He wanted so bad to fill in the blanks of your past. He had started a file on you - don’t worry, nothing official” he added quickly when he saw the distress in your eyes, assuming you’d been brought up to date on the Accords and some of the teams experience on the Raft, “but, he gave me the file. And because I knew you so well, I wanted nothing more than to take over for him. Now I don’t have all the answers but you’ll get that file eventually, I promise you that. But in the meantime - know that you are more than you think. You’re incredible and powerful beyond words. I know you’ve said you’re no hero - god you made me deaf with the amount of times you fought me on it. But theres gonna come a time when you have to decide what you want your life to look like. You’re gonna have to choose if you’re the hero you can be - the hero Ian knew and I _know_ you can be, the hero you’re destined to be. But you have to get there yourself; no one can decide that path for you. Hell, you probably wont even realize when the moment comes but it will. You just have to be ready to face it head on.”

“What’s brought this on, Cap? Why is it so important to say this now?”

“I just know you, know what you can do, who you can become. Just… don’t completely write your potential off, okay?”

“Sure Steve. I’ll do my best.” She leant down and kissed his hand and her tears fell onto the sheet. “Well you need your rest Rogers, so I’ll leave you here. But maybe I’ll be back tomorrow - or today I guess.” She let out a chuckle and stood up. Turning, she looked back at the man in the bed. “Hey,” he looked up and their blue eyes met yet again, “know I love you Steve. Always have, always will. You’ve been everything to me since Ian-“ Her words got caught in her throat as she nodded, effectively ending her sentence.

“I know.” he replied with a similar nod. “I love you too Nya. You helped me so much. Don’t know if I’d have stayed back if your voice hadn’t been rattling around in my head. I owe you everything.”

She chuckled and brushed his thanks off. “Get some sleep old timer. You look like you need it.” Her hand on the doorframe and her foot out the door she chuckled at his pouty look when she called him old timer and then she was gone. Their last words sinking in and both agents smiling knowing they couldn’t have said it better even if they’d had all those years they’d lost. That, however, didn’t stop the tears from falling two hours later when she received the call from Pepper saying it was over - the country had lost its mightiest hero. But maybe a new one was about to be discovered? It seemed Steve thought so. Even with his speech rattling around in her head, Nya couldn’t focus on that… she was too busy mourning her friend, not America’s hero, but her friend Steve, the best man she’d ever known.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! I'll try as best as I can to update weekly since I already have quite a few chapters written! Enjoy the next installment! 
> 
> * I also feel like I need to clarify that this story is ultimately Loki/OFC with bits of Steve/OFC - just in case people might be disappointed later on (I hope not but just in case).

The rain was still coming down as three men walked up the winding driveway to the Avengers compound in Upstate New York, much like they’d done every day; however, this day was not only dark and rainy but tense and overall miserable. No words were shared between the trio on their trek and no words were needed; they all felt the inherent sadness and mourning in the air. It’s never easy, losing one of your own… but it stung even more when it was the person who you looked to for guidance, support, training, anything really.

Looking up, Bucky Barnes suddenly tensed when he noticed a person huddled near the door to the compound. He put an arm out to stop his companions and nodded toward the outsider. After taking a look, the other two didn’t seem to share his concern and Sam Wilson picked up his pace and hurried to the newcomer. There was no concern for his own well-being or hesitation in his approach - he would recognize the tousled brown hair and muscular but slender build of the person anywhere and that was why his only concern was in getting to her and wrapping her up in a bear hug. Sam had been introduced to Nya Varner one morning a few months before the fall of SHIELD when Steve dragged her along on his usual run that he shared with Sam. Sam and Nya instantly bonded over the frustration of getting lapped over and over by the super soldier and kept in touch; she even attended a few of his group therapy sessions at the VA. When he had seen her in Wakanda, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her about Steve even though she asked where he was. He regretted that decision for a long time until Clint told him he was gonna bring her back.

At the sound of his hurried steps, Nya’s head snapped up and Sam could clearly see the red eyes and slight smear of eye makeup. “You’re gonna get sick, ya know?” he said as he grasped her upper arms and hauled her to her feet and directly into a suffocating hug.

“I guess I’m just finding it hard to care, ya know?” The look on her face broke him but he knew it was only slightly worse than the looks on the three men’s faces. He motioned to the door and led her inside, followed closely by the other two. Once she felt the warmth in the lobby she started shivering and the tears welled back up in her eyes. “He’s gone Sam.”

“I know Ny. We just came from headquarters - they put together a small memorial of sorts for SHIELD since Steve was kinda the face of everything. We’re gonna do dinner tonight with the team - well, whoever’s actually home that is - and just, ya know, be together as a family, which obviously includes you.”

“I think its what we all need, honestly.” Clint added, giving Nya a look that said the least she could do is sit down and eat dinner with her friends. She obviously was going to stay but it meant a lot to hear that they still wanted her around, even after all the years she had been gone.

“Of course I’m gonna stay, Clint. It’ll be good to catch up with everyone.” At that moment she realized just who was missing from all her interactions with her mentor “Which reminds me - where’s Nat? Normally you’re joined at the hip.”

The men all looked at the ceiling, floor, out the window and fidgeted in avoidance. Finally when they could feel her about to ask again, Bucky answered for them, “Romanoff… died in the teams attempt to bring everyone back from Thanos’ destruction. Sacrificed herself for half of the universe. I’m so sorry Agent Varner.” He had never met this woman, but he knew what it was like to wake up having missed years of your life and having to adjust to the change in years as well as the loss of some of those you loved.

“You’ve gotta be fucking joking….” she ran her hand through her hair and sighed while trying to fight back the sob threatening to escape her. “Ok - anything else anyone wants to tell me? We lose Rhodey? Fury? Banner? I mean lets just get it all out now… you couldn’t make me feel worse at this point.” Frustration, that was the easiest emotion to give in to right now.

“You know about Vision. Wanda’s still dealing with it - it helps that she got to let out some of that little witchling anger on Thanos, but still. Other than that… Bruce is fine but he and the big guy reached an agreement that resulted in a _bit_ of a change in his appearance but he’s still Bruce. He and Rhodey stayed behind here to help Pepper and oversee the construction of the compound but they’re both fine.” Her head was swimming - so much change. She had though things were crazy different before but every hour she’s back in the states is like a punch to her gut with every new revelation. “Nya, breathe… in, out… you’re gonna be fine I swear.” Sam rushed to add when he recognized the telltale signs of a panic attack coming.

“I _am_ fine, Sam - well as fine as I can be at this point.” She could feel the unease bubbling up inside her. She had trained herself over the years to move past it, focus on the mission, and that’s exactly what she was going to do now. She took a deep breath after pacing away from the guys a bit, squared her shoulders, and turned back to face them - all business. “But… I’m not _just_ here to commiserate. Barton and Pepper dragged my ass out of Siberia because it was so necessary that I come home and help with the next biggest threat to our planet - that was exactly what you said right Hawk? So come on - time to fill me in.” They looked at her like she had sprouted three heads and couldn’t seem to find words in response to her sudden change of subject. “Guys… I need a distraction. I need the next mission or I’m gonna go crazy. Trust me - you don’t want me to break down into a sobbing mess of emotional pain, ask Clint - he’s seen it." The man in question shook his head as a look of horror filled his face. "So come on and catch me up; tell me why it was so important that I show up for this.” They seemed to agree after looking to Clint for confirmation and he responded by leading the way to a conference room.

On the way there, Nya hung back and turned to Bucky, “Sorry about earlier. I’m normally more composed - can’t have an agent who’s easily emotionally compromised. I don’t recall meeting you in Wakanda, I’m Nya Varner.” She stuck her hand out for him to shake.

“Bucky Barnes. Don’t worry about it; it’s not an easy day for anyone. Believe me, I of all people understand.” They shared a small smile and followed the other two further into the compound. Bucky figured now was as good a time as any to initiate this conversation, “Steve spent a lot of time telling me about you. You guys were close, yea?”

“For a time. I may have disappeared but he’ll always mean the world to me.” Not exactly the information he was looking for, and evasive enough to prove to Bucky that she had been trained as a spy by Natasha. “I know you guys were close too. He talked about you a lot. I think if anyone had an influence on the man Steve Rogers was it was you. I’m glad I’ve gotten the chance to meet the man behind the legend.” They shared another smile and continued into the conference room where Sam had just pulled up a video of a tall, blonde, severe looking woman in gladiator-style clothing standing next to a… well… monster? He was big - like hulk big - and his skin was a bluish-grey color. He also had armor on but was clearly there as a support for the woman who, even in a still image, exuded regality and terror.

“This was sent to us from Wakanda. They touched down there and delivered a message after working their way through a couple ranks of Wakandaan warriors.” Nya felt a pang inside her at the thought of Wakanda being laid siege to; the thought of such a wonderful, beautiful place being attacked angered her and worried her if they felt the need to pass on the footage to the Avengers as a heads up. Sam hit play and they all listened as the woman delivered her message.

She said her name was Skaati, the rightful heir of the throne of some place called Valar. She claimed the Earth was harboring the one keeping her throne from her, that this traitor was in possession of an item that bestowed power on the ruler of her realm. When pressed by T’Challa for the identity of this person Skaati said she was going by a different name here on Earth but that her given name was ‘Nymera’ and that the item in her possession would keep her from all harm, then added with a knowing smirk, ‘even the most deadly of explosions’. Nya could see the look of panic on Shuri’s face as she turned toward T’Challa and she _knew_ their minds went to the place hers did. Skaati’s comment was _definitely_ intentional. She tuned back in right in time to hear the woman say she knew the Wakandaans had been harboring her traitor and she demanded they turn her over by the time she returned or she would lay waste to those keeping her hidden. The three men and Nya then watch as the two invaders seemed to be phased away from view and Nya had a sense that she was watching something out of Star Trek instead of a video from a friend.

The video cut off and Nya tried to collect her thoughts while sending up a silent prayer to whoever might be listen for the protection of her friends in Wakanda. “When was this?” She whispered.

“He sent it two days ago. We went to get you right away - it helped that Pepper and I were already close to Siberia when the video came in.” Clint took a breath and leveled Nya with a piercing stare. “She’s referring to you. Shuri and T’Challa believe it and honestly everything lines up - your ability to survive a nuclear blast, your power, all of it.”

She was struck dumb. “I have no idea who that was or what she’s talking about. I’m from London. I work for SHIELD. I just have… enhancements.” She sputtered at Clint and Sam. “Come on! We’ve all run in to enhanced individuals on a myriad of missions. I’m not the _traitor_ this crazy alien is talking about! I’m _HUMAN_!”

“Well… unfortunately for you… we happen to have our own alien who sorta backed up her story…” Sam said hesitantly and motioned to the doorway behind where you and Bucky were sitting. You both turned around and were faced with none other than the God of Thunder himself - who was much more imposing in person and who had been conveniently absent from the meet-and-greet in Wakanda. But the most shocking thing about the newcomer was the look of joyous recognition that Nya saw on his face when her eyes met his.

“I hoped she was not lying but could not rest easy until I saw this Agent Varner with my own eyes.” Thor said with a beaming smile in Nya’s direction, “After all these years… Lady Nymera it is good to see you again after so long."


	6. Chapter 6

You could hear a pin drop. No one moved, no one even breathed; everyone’s eyes were trained on the woman sitting at the table. Nya couldn’t say a word - she couldn’t even _think_ of a word to say. All she could do was stare in shock and confusion at the blonde god standing in the doorway. He looked at her like he expected her to leap off her chair and embrace him, crying tears of reunion and joy. The whole room noticed when the realization set in for Thor that she clearly didn’t know him and this joyous reunion was completely one sided.

“ _Wow_ … I knew you guys liked your jokes but this one is _maybe_ a bit too far.” She let out a chuckle that quickly faded away when she took note of the awkward looks on the guys faces. Thor, for his part, looked shocked and even slightly hurt. It was clear that he had been close with this Nymera in one way or another. She felt a bit of guilt at not being able to keep that smile on his face, but she didn’t have a way to do that without lying and claiming to be this Nymera woman, did she?

“It appears I have made a mistake… apologies, Agent Varner, I’ll take my leave.” With a slight bow and a dejected if somewhat confused expression, Thor backed out of the room and the awkward tension settled in place again. Now that the expectant demigod had left the room, Nya had a minute to allow the seething annoyance to set in.

“What the actual fuck are you all getting at?! There’s no way in hell that what that woman said is true. I am Nya Varner. I am _not_ some alien traitor in possession of some powerful weapon or whatever.” She stood up with a sigh and faced everyone in the room, “I am gonna go to my room and have a lie down. Do I still have the same one?” She looked to Clint for an answer and when she received an affirmative head nod, she continued. “Wake me when you’ve all figured out a more probable explanation for that video, cuz the only one you’ve got so far is absolute shit.”

Once Nya was out of earshot the men exchanged incredulous looks before Bucky cleared his throat and cautiously broached the next topic. “Look - I trust Thor as much as the rest of you but… how do we know that he isn’t mistaken? Obviously you all know her well and clearly I don’t know where she’s been these last few years or what the history there is but - c’mon - do you really think she’s lying? That was genuine disbelief and shock on her face.” he threw his hands up in the air and slumped back in his chair. “I buy it.”

“What do you want us to do Barnes? I mean this is the best lead we have! If this woman comes back and takes her anger and frustration out of the people of Earth and we didn’t entertain _every_ possible avenue… their blood would be on _our_ hands!” Clint’s frustration was more than apparent in his tone and much stronger than the other two had ever seen.

But still Bucky continued to press the issue, “Well then how do you explain a situation where Thor _insists_ she is this… Nymera person? But Varner has absolutely no memory of being this person. So please… explain that!”

The three agents turned towards the door at sudden sound of someone clearing their throat. “I believe I may have an explanation and possibly even a solution.” A sheepish Thor made his way back into the conference room and took up the newly vacated chair at the table. “Truth be known, I myself did not know who Lady Nya really was until a few years ago - and even then, there was so much happening in the universe, I must confess she was the furthest thing from my mind. Nonetheless, I assure you that the person whom that woman spoke of is indeed your Agent Varner.”

“You said ‘after all this time’ to her… but now you’re saying you didn’t know about her until a _few_ years ago? You’ve gotta give us more of an explanation, Thor.” Sam asked.

Thor hesitated, clearly thinking of the best and clearest way to explain this situation. “I believe a very complex and tricky piece of magic was used in the concealing of Nymera from the minds of those who knew her as well as erasing her own past from her mind.” All of their faces showed a mixture of shock as well as anger (on the faces of Clint and Sam) towards the one who would have manipulated their friend that way.

“Who could possess power of that magnitude?!” Bucky asked, breaking the tense silence that had fallen on the room. He was absolutely blown away by the suggestion of magic - it wasn’t exactly something that he was used to hearing brought up as a valid explanation to the happenings on Earth despite his friendship with Wanda and exposure to her magic; but looking around the room at his two friends, he realized that they were actually entertaining this as the most logical explanation. Well, at this juncture, what other options did they have?

“That is something that is no longer relevant as the sorcerer who accomplished it is no longer a piece in this puzzle…” As Thor was speaking, Bucky noticed the look of loss and sorrow flash across Thor’s face and he couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the god, his own recent loss of Steve flaring to the surface. Whoever had been powerful enough to cast this… spell? was someone who meant a lot to the god of thunder.

It was almost enough of an explanation for Bucky, but not for the other two Avengers. “How are you sure this person isn’t working with that Skaati woman?!” Clint’s suspicious side was on full alert as well as his urge to protect the young woman he had trained all these years.

Thor fixed Clint with a pointed glare at the insinuation that this person could be linked to so vile a being. “Believe me Barton, I know full well that this person is no threat as they no longer draw breath.” A prolonged silence fell over the room at this and Clint sensed he had hit a nerve, so he let it be. After a couple minutes Thor continued, “As to proof of the validity of Skaati’s words -you recall my telling of the… _oracle_ … that returned to us in New Asgard?” Bucky did not fail to notice the significant looks pass between Sam, Clint, and Thor; clearly the three of them had discussed this _oracle_ at length before. Sam looked hesitant but Clint looked ready to kill someone. “I came to verify Nymera’s identity myself before calling on him for verification. It is imperative that he not be brought into this until she can recall who she is on her own. It would only cause more pain on both sides if we were to rush.” Sam and Clint failed to see the connection between Nya and the oracle but nodded in agreement with Thor, trusting his judgement in this matter.

In their focus on their conversation, they all failed to notice the extra person lingering just outside of the door until she spoke up, “Well, did your super mystical oracle happen to tell _you_ who I am? Or did he just send his lackey for _‘_ verification’ so he didn’t have to raise a finger? And who do you two think you are?! You truly think you can force me into believing that I am this person Skaati thinks I am? You know more than you are saying, Thunderhead, and I want answers! I’ve gone my whole damn life without knowing _anything_ from my past and if you know something _for gods sakes_ just fucking TELL ME!” Everyone was wide-eyed after watching Nya loose it like that. Clint realized he hadn’t seen her this emotionally worked up in a _very_ long time when he noticed the tears welling up in her eyes and the slight tremor in her hands as she fisted them at her sides. Thor was in shock at the anger and desperation behind the outburst but also at the nickname she used - one that he hadn’t heard in hundreds of years.

“My Lady… trust me when I say, to tell you everything would be of no use. It would only cause you pain - and while you may be accepting of the pain it may cause you… _I_ am not willing to risk causing you pain or causing others close to me pain with this revelation. I have a plan of how to explain but it may require you going with me before the oracle.”

“Then take me there. Now. I want answers - no matter the cost.” Seeing her determination, he decided to try another tact. “Lady Nya, no one can see the oracle without my say so and company. As it turns out, unfortunately, my help been requested by another realm and I must leave immediately. I merely wanted to come and see you for myself before I left.” Something was off… She opened her mouth to begin berating the God of Thunder yet again, but he quickly cut her off before she could get a word out. “However, if you would be amenable… I will take you to New Asgard when I return and you may put your questions to the oracle yourself. I should be no more than two days time.”

She thought about his proposition for a moment while scrutinizing Thor. He was hiding something and lying about how he wanted to help her get answers when he returned - she could tell. She was even sure he was lying about having to go off planet. She knew. She could practically smell his lies - a skill she’s had for as long as she could remember. She didn’t know what or why but she knew he wasn’t being completely up front with her. But in that moment she knew what she had to do. “Fine… I mean its not like I have many other options at this point. Don’t be late coming back Thor… you have no idea what this means to me.”

“You have my word, My Lady. Now, until I return, my friends.” With a clap on the back for Sam, nods to the Sergeant and Barton, and a kiss to your knuckles, he walked out the door and moments later you saw the flash of the Bifrost from the lawn as he left this realm. “Well I’m gonna give this video another once over in case theres anything else that can help us down the road. You guys know where to find me if you need me.” Sam left in the direction of the AV lab with a curious Bucky in tow. Clint, however, lingered at the door with his arms crossed over his chest before turning his suspicious eye back on his protege. “You’re not gonna wait two days, are you?”

“What do you think Hawk?” She rolled her yes at his exasperated expression before she continued in a patronizing tone. “He claims there is someone living in New Asgard who knows who I am. I could finally have the answers I’ve always wanted - the answers I have searched _years_ for. And he’s _purposefully_ making me wait. What am I supposed to do? I’ll be in and out quickly. No one will know I’ve been there except the oracle. You and Nat taught me well… don’t tell me you doubt my skills after all this time?”

“Of course not - we taught you everything we know, but what exactly do you expect me to do with this information?” Ugh, dad-voice. Nya hated when he used his dad voice.

She shrugged her shoulders and turned her gaze back to his. “Keep the landing pad clear and ignore the Quinjet you’ll see in the air?” She had started off down the hall, determination and purpose in every step. But before she could turn towards the hangar bay, Clint caught her attention again.

“No. Not just yet.” Anger started bubbling up in her. How _dare_ he try to keep her here? Didn’t he know by now that she could sneak out past him? She whipped around and glared at the archer, trying to come up with a witty and biting retort to his refusal. “There’s a family obligation you already agreed to Varner. Wouldn’t want to miss dinner, now would you?” Smirk on his face and eyebrow raised, he turned around and walked toward the living room, knowing she would follow him.

“Fine. But now you have to do one more thing for me.” she sidled up next to him and linked her arm through his.

“And what is that?” he chucked with a roll of his eyes.

“Wish me luck, yea?” She said with a chuckle.

They both laughed and when that subsided Clint looked at her and sighed, “Sure thing kid. You’re gonna need it.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Here we go! The story is gonna be picking up from here on out. Just a heads up - In this chapter I begin using italics for large chunks of writing -- this means its a memory or a flashback. 
> 
> If it's just a sentence in italics then it means it's a characters thoughts. If its a paragraph or longer then its a flashback/memory. 
> 
> Hope you all like it!

Dinner that night was exactly what everyone needed. It was filled with laughter and stories and, yes, even a couple tears as the team reminisced. Everyone made it home that night: Rhodey, Wanda, Bruce, a new guy named Scott and his girlfriend Hope, even Happy, Pepper, and her daughter Morgan came. The little girl was _just_ like Tony, brilliant, inquisitive, quick-witted. Nya couldn’t help but smile a sad smile at the little girl - who was currently trying to take apart Bucky’s metal arm with her spoon - at the memories of Tony that flashed through her head at the sight. Clint cooked a fabulous dinner and the drinks kept flowing, along with an endless stream of stories involving the dearly departed.

“Do you remember that one mission where you went crashing through a window, knocking down two HYDRA thugs _and_ Cap in the process?” Clint was giggling remembering the scene he witnessed.

“Of course I do! He wouldn’t _ever_ let me forget that it happened!” Nya couldn’t contain her giggles.

“What exactly led to you crashing through a window?!” Scott asked.

“I was laying cover fire from the roof of the building next door to this high rise we were infiltrating. Nat and Clint were going in first to try to get the information we were assigned to get and Steve was going to be drawing their manpower away from where those two were gonna be. I took a few out from the roof - _trying_ to be nice and get a little pressure off Steve - but he seemed to take offense to me helping. So he got snarky and said ‘If you’re gonna help from over there then you might as well be down here doing it!’ So I got a running start and jumped through the window.” She shrugged as the whole table (minus Morgan who was still fascinated by Bucky’s arm) devolved into uncontrollable laughter. “Its not my fault he didn’t have enough sense to assume I would actually take him up on his offer. I knocked him down and he had the nerve to tell me that I was supposed to be on the roof and that he had been joking. He actually was happy I was there when I took out one of the bad guys who as trying to sneak up on him though.”

“What about when you and Tony tried to play Quidditch in his lab with the Iron Legion and you both in Ironman suits?” Pepper teased. “I came down to check in after a repulsor beam blew through the ceiling of the lab that happened to be right below the kitchen.”

“We were young and drunk!” The laughter got even louder after it was explained that Tony had used his holograms to make the whole of the lab look like a legitimate Quidditch pitch and even invented a tiny robot to be the snitch and tasked Dum-e to act like the bludger and randomly attack you both.

“Do you know what they’re talkin’ about Doll?” Bucky asked Morgan.

“Of course Uncle Bucky! They’re my favorite stories!”

“Which are?”

“Harry Potter! I’ll show you!” Nya noticed the small smile on Pepper and Happy’s faces while watching her interact with him. Bucky must have stepped up as a fixture in the young girls life after Tony died. “Oooo! We can have a movie marathon! Please, please, please?!”

“If your mamma says yes, the of course we can!”

“Can I come too?” Sam chimed in, pulling out his best puppy dog eyes and directing them at the little Stark girl.

“Shove off bird brain. This is my time with my niece!” Bucky said as he shoved Sam away and scooped Morgan up and cuddled her against his chest while she laughed in absolute joy.

“Mommy please!”

“Fine, but we have to go home tonight baby. You can show your uncles the first movie _only_. Understood?”

“Yes mamma!” She squealed as Bucky shifted her to his back and started running towards the media room and away from Sam as he chased after them, causing Morgan to squeal even more.

“They’ve become her favorites, haven’t they?” Nya asked Pepper.

“Yea. It shocked me that she loves Bucky so much given what happened to her grandpa. But he adores her! And he and Sam are the _best_ babysitters.” At a ‘humph’ from Happy, Pepper added, “But thats only if Happy isn’t around to watch her - he’ll always be her favorite.” Nya had found out about Bucky’s involvement in the deaths of Howard Stark and his wife, but she understood that it was HYDRA making him do it. She was glad Pepper didn’t hold it against him either, especially after seeing how happy playing with the girl made Bucky.

She put her arm around Pepper’s shoulders and leaned her head against hers while they turned their attention back to the conversation at the table. Hope was telling a story about when she was little and visited her dad at work and she and Peggy Carter had built a fort in her office. Which led to Bruce saying how Morgan does the same thing in his lab at least once a week. Clint chimed in with stories about his three kids doing that same thing. Rhodey launched into a story about when he and Tony were drunk one time and decided to do that too but their attempt ended with Dum-e trying to put out a fire in Tony’s lab at 3am. Wanda even chimed in with a few anecdotes of drunken times with Natasha during the few times they met up while on the run.

It felt like a family gathering and Nya couldn’t help the smile on her face. This was her family. She was home again.

It wasn’t an entirely mournful evening after all, there was plenty of laughter, but still, after a while of this and quite a few drinks, Nya snuck out the door and wandered onto the lawn to plop down on a chair that was sat around an unlit firepit. She found herself staring at the stars and recalling this story her father told her years ago and wondering if, hoping that, it was in fact true.

_“Now look up at all those stars, sweetheart.” They were camping somewhere in the Virginia woods about a year after Ian had taken her in - she couldn’t have been more than 18 or 19._

_“I’ve always thought they were so sparkly but they sparkle even more out her.” she couldn’t help but marvel the view._

_“Did you know kiddo that each of those sparkling stars are the soul and memory of a person who has left this world.”_

_“Really?!”_

_“Well, its not outside the realm of possibility sweetheart. And even if it’s not true, it’s a nice thought, isn’t it? That the people we love, the people we’ve lost, are still looking down on us and watching us continue on.”_

_She looked over at the man she called her father and smiled at him watching the stars and couldn’t help the question that slipped out, “Will you be there someday, dad? I-I mean… would you still be looking down on me?”_

_Ian looked her in shock that she’d want him to be looking down on her but quickly replied, “Of course Nya!” astounded that she would want him to continue on in her life. “You amaze me, ya know? I don’t know what I did but I’m so glad the universe chose to send you to me. Even when I’m gone - which will be a very long time from now - I’m always going to watch over you. I promise. You can’t get rid of me sweetie.”_

Her reverie was interrupted by another person plonking down in the chair next to hers. “Looked lost to the world there, darlin’.” Sam handed her another beer.

“Nah, just remembering something.”

“Care to share?” She sighed and looked back up to the stars before explaining things to Sam.

“My dad used to tell me that the stars were actually our loved ones watching us from the beyond. I was just thinking of Steve, Ian, Tony, Vision, Nat… everyone we’ve lost. It’s a comforting thought right?” Sam was smirking at her so she quickly added, “I know I sound nuts but just give me this, ok? Its been a long week.” They both laughed before silence descended and Sam finally broached the subject he’d come out to discuss.

“So Steve hired a lawyer before he died. Seems he needed someone to hang on to some stuff until he was ready to pass it along. Your name is on the list, Ny. Steve had something he wanted to give you and, well, the guy will be here tomorrow or the next day to give it to you.”

“What is it? What did he leave for me?” She couldn’t even think of a single thing Steve would have left her and if he had, wouldn’t he have mentioned it that night in the hospital?

“No clue, but I figured you’d want a heads up before he gets here. Who knows- maybe it’ll be something that can help us with this current shit storm!” He was laughing at his joke as he staggered up and headed back toward the house. “By the way, Pepper and Morgan said to tell you bye and not to leave New York without another visit!”

She laughed at his last sentence and took another gulp of her beer. Nya stayed where she was and continued thinking about the past and her memories of her father and Steve in addition to the news Sam had just shared. She must have gotten lost in her own thoughts because the next thing she knew, she turned to look back at the compound and saw that the lights had gone off meaning everyone had headed to their own beds.

 _It’s time_.

She made her way up to her room and changed into her SHIELD combat suit that she had thankfully found hanging in her closet and grabbed all the necessary gear she would need - good thing she stashed it all in her room before dinner. Within half an hour she was starting up the Quinjet and taking off in the direction of New Asgard, completely unaware of the beady eyed archer sitting on the roof of the compound crossing his fingers and wishing her luck and safety on her late night ventures.


	8. Chapter 8

The flight wasn’t too long in the Quinjet and she saw the outline of the city below her before the sun had even started to rise - _thank God for super fast aerospace advancement and the emergence of alien tech_! She almost thought she had entered the coordinates wrong because the city before her was definitely that - a _city_. All she had heard about New Asgard was that it was little more than a seaside town - not much in the way of lodgings but comfortable enough for its occupants. What you saw before you was a marvel! Beautiful homes and a lovely new dock. There was a big meeting hall and everything seemed to shine in the moonlight - it all seemed to be constructed out of materials that were either light grey and white making it look like a regal city and for a moment Nya imagined what the golden, advanced realm of Asgard must have looked like if this is what its few survivors have come up with.

She brought the jet down just outside the city but hidden behind a hill so no one would be able to look out their window, see the craft, and be alerted to her presence; as long as her training didn’t fail her, she should be in and out without anyone but the oracle knowing she was there. The thought made her chuckle as she thought that this all-powerful oracle - if he was what Thor believed he was - should know she was coming anyway. Wearing her old SHIELD stealth suit - that had still been hanging in her closet at the compound even though she had only spent about a week there before she disappeared - a pair of old but trusty combat boots and her hair up in a somewhat messy bun, she descended the jet and started a brisk jog in the direction of the second largest building in the city. If Thor wasn’t willing to let her go before the oracle without being with him then she was sure the Asgardian citizens were treating the oracle with the reverence, luxury, and _protection_ of the royal family.

Sticking to the shadows she made her way to the _only_ building that was guarded surprisingly - although she didn’t really know if she should classify the giant blue rock-looking guy and the _huge_ insect with swords in - no, wait - swords _as_ hands, as guards. not to be deterred, she snuck around back, found a door, and crouched down in front of the lock. She knew that trying the handle probably wouldn’t prove successful, but she figured it was worth a go - sure enough, nothing, locked up tight. With a sigh she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before raising her hand up, palm open, in front of the metal lock. After a moment she opened her eyes and imagined the mechanism sliding out of the latch and moving to the unlock position. With a smirk, she opened the door slowly and then slid through the smallest opening she could and found herself in a hallway that let out into the kitchens, that were thankfully deserted at this hour. _Huh, guess the royals don’t get up early. Lucky for the kitchen staff that they don’t have to be up before the sun._

____________________________________________________________________________________

Now, what Nya didn’t realize was that her previous bout of cat burglary was witnessed by someone. Not one of the guards, oh no, much worse. The woman had just come out from a small pub and was making her way back to the mini-palace, as the small Asgardian children had taken to calling the building. As she rounded the corner she saw someone attempt to open the door. She was about to call out to the person, a woman she thought, when she saw the woman throw her head back and let out a quiet sigh and clench her fists at her side. The woman appeared to be wearing some sort of combat uniform similar to what she recalled seeing Thor’s agent friends wear in the past.

Curious about the intentions of this obvious intruder, the woman kept to the shadows and watched as the intruder crouched down and extended her had in front of the door. What she saw next further piqued her interest and curiosity as well as made her reach for the blade that was slung on her hip. She was viewing the woman’s profile so she had a clear view of the blue light that emanated from the woman’s palm. Having seen magic before she wasn’t necessarily shocked but what she didn’t understand was the glow coming from the woman’s _eyes_. In fact, it almost looked like the air around her was glowing blue. When the intruder slipped inside, the other woman released her grip on her weapon and hurried around to the front of the building and with a nod of recognition toward the guards she slipped inside and started silently on the grand staircase toward the large rooms at the top floor. It was time for her to rise above her drunken stupor and protect the being currently sleeping upstairs - after all, she had ( _begrudgingly_ ) promised Thor she would.

__________________________________________________________________________________

After a cursory glance around the kitchens, Nya walked through a side door into another hallway until she was met by some stairs. Judging by the simple wood used in its construction she guessed that they were designed for the staff and would probably let out on every floor of the building. She ascended the stairs carefully, hoping to avoid the inevitable creaking and squeaking that cheap wood often comes with, she went to the top floor and cracked open the door to make sure the hallway before her was clear. She noted the use of deep red plush-looking carpeting, the dark grey coloring on the walls, and beautiful gold miniature chandeliers hanging from the ceiling about 3 feet apart all the way down the hallway. _Wow… must have the right floor._ She snuck to the first door and peeked inside - furnished, but empty, in fact, it looked more like a guest room than a lived in bedroom. She continued down the hall, finding that they all were like first. She reached the end of the hall and found two staircases on opposite sides leading up into, what she assumed, were the two small tower-like features on the front and back of the building. taking the one on the right she went up the stairs and opened the door at the top. While this room appeared lived in, there was no occupant here now but she thought she saw a large hammer sitting on the table by the bed. She itched to go inside and try to lift it - just to say she did- but reined in the desire and retreated back down the stairs. As she reached the main hallway again she heard a gruff “Hey you there!” from the direction of the main stairs.

Whipping her head around she saw a woman in blue thermal shirt, a dark grey windbreaker, black jeans, and fleece-lined rainboots. She had dark skin and dark hair that was up in a ponytail with small braids running throughout it. Over all of this, however, Nya noticed that she was clearly drunk. “Who are you and what business do you have here?” The woman advanced in Nya’s direction in a manner that could only be described as stalking.

“Oh… I was… Um… I was sent by Thor. He wanted me to talk to the… oracle I believe he said? Any idea where I can find him?” She sent what she hoped was her most charming smile in the direction of the fierce woman while her mind tried conjure up a myriad of ways of escape.

“I was unaware that Thor was sending anyone to the city this early in the morning…” she squinted suspiciously in Nya’s direction but seemed to calm down a moment later. “Oh what the hell do I care” she slurred, “It’s the stairs on the left but knock first - he’s probably sleeping.” She pulled a small flask out of her jacket and took a swig as she turned toward the stairs and disappeared. Breathing a sigh of relief Nya crept up the stairs and stopped in front of the door before taking a look behind her out of caution and crouched down in front of the door. Calling upon her powers again, she unlocked the door and took a look inside. What she saw was very different than Thors room.

This room was nearly pitch black; blackout curtains - in a very deep dark color - were shut over the windows, a few clusters of scattered oil lamps interspersed with small softly lit electrical lamps were scattered around the room giving it a soothing ambiance. To the left of the door was a sitting area with a couple armchairs and a very plush looking couch. Further back and up on raised area which separated it from the rest of the living area was what she assumed was the bedroom; it was completely dark but she thought she could make out the outline of a four poster bed. All the furniture she could see was very victorian or old world in its appearance but she found herself drawn to the style. While Thor’s room was more modern and light as opposed to this more gothic room, Nya found herself at peace and felt very relaxed; it didn’t give off a stark cold vibe but rather a feeling of warmth that caused her to straighten up and walk through the door like she belonged there.

What intrigued and excited her most about the room was the wall to the right of the door; the wall was very long, mirroring the entire combined length of the sitting area, the bedroom, and what she assumed was a bathroom. But what drew her to walk over to the wall was the fact that it was filled from floor to ceiling with books; not just any books - there were modern novels, biographies, what looked like scientific textbooks, but interspersed with these were beautifully bound early editions of classics, some of which she had never heard of or couldn’t read because they weren’t in a language she recognized. The collection was not neat, there were a fair number of books that didn’t fit on the shelves piled on the floor and some large cushions along the floor that made her want to sit down and grab a book to start; but the ‘chaos’ reminded her of an old bookstore she loved to frequent in London and she found herself never wanting to leave this room. But her mission came back to her and turned back toward the room and took in her surroundings.

“H-hello?” She wandered toward the sitting area while looking for any signs of life. “Im - Um… looking for th-the oracle…” With a sigh she realized that she sounded absolutely stupid, calling out for some being she only knows as ‘the oracle’. She turned toward the door, intent on leaving and berating Thor about this obvious lie when the blood in her veins turned to ice.

“Well, well, well…. I never thought Thor would send me a plaything… mmmm…. and judging from my current view, a stunning plaything at that.” The sultry almost-British voice caused her to stop dead in her tracks.

She spun around looking for the source of the voice but saw no one; the voice seemed to come from every corner of the room. “Show yourself. I came with questions and I demand answers!”

“ _YOU!_ ” The voice sounded shocked; suddenly a white light came on in the bedroom area and from spots on the ceiling, illuminating every spot in the room. A tall figure stalked toward Nya from around one side of the four-poster bed. He was striking, in her opinion. Dark shoulder length black hair, slender but clearly muscular physique, his features were sharp but the shocked look on his face softened their sharpness. He wore a dark green t-shirt and long soft-looking black sleep pants as he walked barefoot toward her, the look on his face was indescribable but had Nya feeling something deep inside of her - almost like a relief and like a piece of the emptiness inside her had disappeared. “D-do you know me?” he asked with a bit of desperation and longing to his tone.

Once she pushed that unusual and mysterious feeling down, she could focus on the face of the man walking towards her. “Of course I do…” She said in a shocked whisper… and immediately drew her gun. A look of confusion crossed his face and he put his hands up by his head.

“I assure you, there’s been a misunderstanding on your part my lady.” She raised an eyebrow in response to the smirk he was giving her and adjusted the grip on her gun in response. “I’m sorry but I’m slightly confused… do you…. _not_ know me, lady?”

“I said that I did.” His face perked up a bit at this, only to fall in a mix of shame, confusion, and anger at her next words. “Everyone knows who you are. Does your brother know his people are harboring the man who destroyed New York? Does SHIELD know?!”

In that moment she felt a cold blade up against her throat. “It appears a mistake has been made.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

As soon as Valkyrie had turned down the stairs after confronting Nya, she peeked her head around to watch her ascend the stairs. Drawing out her cellphone, she punched the ‘1’ and hit call. “Yea, its me. I think we have a problem. A woman broke into the main building tonight… Yea, looks like an agent… no, never seen her before… Said she was sent by you. What do you want me to do?… yea, she’s in with him now… no, I don’t know if he’s spoken to her just that she went up the stairs…. uh huh… yea I’ll make her leave…. Whatever, guess we’ll see you soon.” She hung up and drew her Dragonfang. Approaching the open door, she heard Loki asking if the woman knew who he was. If she wasn’t mistaken, she could hear a recognition in his voice and a longing she’d never heard from the trickster god before. Normally when Loki asked people if they knew who he was it was in an attempt to instill fear and leave them shrinking away from his presence - hell, thats why so many of the maids have quit since Loki’s coming back to his people.

She saw the disappointment on his face when she brought up New York. At this point she places her blade against the woman’s throat and stopped her speaking. “It appears a mistake has been made… The God of Thunder did _not_ send you here. You are trespassing in our city and your presence in our prince’s chambers is clearly unwelcome. I believe it is time you lower your weapon and come with me to await Thor’s arrival.” She began to lower her blade when Nya holstered her weapon.

What she didn’t anticipate was the elbow blow to her solar plexus. Nya swiveled out of her path and made her dash for the stairs. Taking a few at a time she made it down to the hallway and dashed down the main stairs toward the front door as she heard the shouts from the valkyrie following in her wake. Nya burst through the door and didn’t even look back at the confused guards. She cleared the city and made it to the Quinjet just as she saw the bolts of lightning touching down in the town square. Getting the jet in the air and heading back to the compound, she realized that not only did she _not_ get the information she needed, she was leaving with even more questions than she came with.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Thor made his way to his brothers room and stopped at the door to confer with Valkyrie. “How is he?”

“Well he’s been looking at the wall since she left. It’s like he saw someone returned from the dead, Thor.” Thor looked toward his brother and couldn’t help but feel like his current emotional state was his fault. Perhaps if he had shown his brother Skaati’s video and visited him as soon as he had left the compound after seeing her to explain his theory and come up with another plan that _involved_ his brother, he wouldn’t have been shocked like this. “Who was she Thor?”

He’s brought out of his stupor by the inquisitive warrior. “Someone from long, long ago my friend. Someone we had both forgotten.”

“Brother…” He slowly approached his brother. While it did nothing to him, he still would choose to _not_ end up with a torso filled with daggers tonight.

“What did I just see Thor?” Tear filled eyes turned in his direction and his heart broke for his little brother in a way it hadn’t since Loki came to him nearly in tears when a court lady turned down her nose at him as a teen. “Tell me I’m mistaken…. There’s no way… _Please…_ tell me it was a specter or a hallucination of some kind!”

“Brother… we must talk… I cannot say what you want me to say, but I need your help… _She_ needs your help.”

Loki turned to his brother with a look of resolve and determination in his eyes, “What must I do?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Ok... so if this chapter is too long in your opinion, please let me know so I can break them up into smaller chunks in the future. 
> 
> Enjoy chapter 9!

Nya turned on the autopilot function during her return flight and found herself gazing at out the front windows of the aircraft, but she didn’t take note of anything she was passing. She had retreated into her mind and was desperately trying to sift through her emotions and thoughts before she touched down back in New York. The look of recognition and _longing_ she saw on Loki’s face was… odd, and she couldn’t get it out of her mind. Here he was, the god who had killed hundreds of people in a few days time with no sense of remorse… there he had been, standing right in front of her with a kind - if grief-stricken - look on his face and a gentleness to his tone that was absent from every recording of him that SHIELD had. She had found a testimony from Thor attached at the end of Loki’s file where the god of thunder had sworn over and over that Loki was being mind-controlled and influenced to attack New York, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to believe it when she compared it to the recordings she had watched. But now, after having stared into his eyes and heard the desperate longing in his voice… she didn’t know what to think of him.

She had poured over SHIELD’s files when she had returned from the mission she had been and during the events of New York and again when she had been in Russia, wanting to get caught up on the parts of history that mattered to her life - the missions, the agency, the Avengers… it was her life, it was who she was, she was an agent and she had secretly hoped she could go back to that life of protecting those who had no idea what was really out there. _Or_ who _was really out there, hiding in a city of aliens._ There it was again - that face… that _handsome_ face…. _NO!_ _Knock it off Nya! He’s one of SHIELD’s most wanted! You cannot think he’s handsome…. even if he is EXTREMELY handsome_ … she shook her head to clear her wayward thoughts and return to the matter at hand: Loki was _alive_ and living freely in New Asgard. How could SHIELD _not_ know about this? And if they did, why was no one doing anything about it? Surely the World Security Council would feel very uneasy with a demigod who had laid waste to a major United States city roaming free. Wait… was there even a WSC anymore? _Oh god… my head hurts now._ She rested her head on the chilly side window of the cockpit and closed her eyes, willing the oncoming headache to stop and turn around and run the other direction. There were definitely a bunch of questions that she would be asking when she touched down.

In the short time she had remaining, she focused her thoughts back on her run-in with the god of mischief and began taking stock of the emotions and reactions that ran through her during the meeting. He was good looking, but the attraction - _yes, I’m willing to admit it was an attraction…_ \- had been deeper than his looks. His presence wasn’t overbearing or intimidating which shocked her; every report of an encounter with the perceived villain had said that he was intimidating, even terrifying. But she didn’t feel that at all, in fact, she distinctly felt at home in his space. Thoughts that drifted through her head during her initial surveillance of the room came back into the forefront of her mind and she sifted through them more carefully now. The room was dark and furnished with antiques and gave off a distinct gothic vibe that to most would have been off putting and made them imagine they had been entering Dracula’s lair, but to her it felt like… home. She felt safe, secure, warm, cozy; it was that feeling you got when you went home for the holidays, staying in a space where you used to spend most of your time, surrounded by the people you love, and if it was cold outside you might have curled up like the kid you used to be on the couch and sighed deeply as you reverted back into that happy, cozy memory of your earlier years. _Comforting thought_.

And the books! Oh, the books! _What I wouldn’t have given to just plop down on those cushions and pluck one of those old novels off the shelf and retreated into another world!_ She gasped suddenly as she saw a scene in her minds eye at that thought - it was quick, just a flash but it was definitely something she must have imagined…right? The image was of a room very similar to the one she had been in, except the floor and even the walls were gold. There was a roaring fire in the hearth and piles of books interspersed with piles of cushions and a low table filled with fruit, pastries, and what she assumed was wine. But what shocked her most of all were the people in the image: Loki and herself. They were wearing weird clothing but they were lounging on the cushions each with a thick book in their hands; her nose was stuck in her book ( _of course, of course_ ) but he simply held his while his gaze was trained on her face, a look of… love? admiration? happiness?… on his face. The next instant the image was gone and that headache from before was raging in its place. Taking her head off the window she pressed two fingers to each temple and made a mental note to scarf down some pain meds the moment she touched down at the compound… which thankfully would only be a minute of two, she realized as she opened her eyes and saw the compound on the horizon.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. landed the jet in its place on the roof and she exited the craft and turned to the door, there in her path was Clint; he had his arms crossed on his chest and was looking a bit defensive and shameful. She knew exactly why, she realized in that instant; her mind flashed back to the previous day in the conference room when she had overheard Thor’s mention of the ‘oracle’ and the look of acknowledgement and recognition on the faces of Hawkeye and Falcon when he did - they knew it was Loki. _Well that’s one question answered -_ some _of SHIELD knew he where he was._ She stopped a couple feet in front of him and the two just stared at each other until Clint sighed and looked at his feet. “You just let me go.”

“I know I did.”

“Why? You obviously knew what I’d find there.”

“Honestly I never thought you’d actually get all the way in to see him…” His cheeks turned red with blush and he refused to make eye contact with his protege.

“Ha. That’s rich. _YOU_ trained me yourself, Clint. Do you honestly not trust your training or my natural abilities enough to think I could do it?!” She was furious. How dare he doubt her! She was one of the best! Granted she had been out of the game for nearly a decade but she was still in her prime and it was just like riding a bike!

“Of course not! It’s not like that! I know what you’re capable of Ny - better than anyone! I just figured he’d be well guarded is all. I mean… Thor is aware of how the world still views his brother…”

“Well one guard was drunk and the two sitting on the front door were easy to avoid because there was a _back door_ … the drunk one did kinda get the jump on me toward the end but I was sort of preoccupied by the _homicidal maniac_ standing in front of me!!”

At that Nya stormed past Clint and headed for the door to the compound. Just as she was about to open it, Sam walked out to see what was going on. She pushed past him, only sending a piercing glare his direction before she disappeared into the building.

“What’s her problem today?” He asked as he reached his friend.

“She knows Loki’s alive.”

“Oh.”

“And… she knows that you and I knew the whole time.”

“Alright… so she eavesdropped yester- Wait! Thor never said his name… How did she figure it out?”

“She went there last night. Just got back.”

“She went to New Asgard?”

Clint sighed and finally turned to face Sam fully. “She had just been told that there was someone who might know who she is or at minimum might know why she couldn’t remember her past. Then she was denied access for at least a couple days - I’m not completely convinced that Thor would have actually taken her there when came back. What do you think she was going to do, Sam?”

“She could have been smart and waited.” Clint opened his mouth to comment on that but Sam cut him off by holding up his hand. “We both know she’s an ‘act-first-ask-permission-later’ type gal. And we both know she picked up that quirk from both Romanoff and Rogers.” Both men chucked at that. She had spent enough time on missions and in training with those two to have picked up more than their fighting styles, but the two agents had always found it endearing - as long as they weren’t the ones on the receiving end of her stubbornness and rash reactions, that was.

Their chuckles were cut off by sudden bolts of lightning on the lawn in front of them. With a collective sigh and a glance at each other, the two men straightened up and steeled themselves as they because a leisure stroll toward the three figures standing on the lawn. “Was wondering when you’d show up.” Clint said in the direction of the blonde god. “Didn’t waste any time did you?”

“Barton.” They greeted each other with firm handshake before he continued. “She went against my orders and forced her way into my home.” Under the seriousness of his tone, Wilson and Barton detected a bit of unease.

“You never worked with her, did you?” Sam chuckled as he realized that this brashness of Nya’s - especially when it came to missions and gaining information - was something Thor was unaware of. “She does this. _Especially_ when someone is blatantly lying to her or denying her access to the information she needs to do her job. Now add to that the fact that you alluded to the fact that you had someone living in New Asgard with the knowledge of who she really is, and are you really surprised that she didn’t wait for you to return from God knows where?” Everyone was caught off guard by Sam’s impassioned defense of Nya’s actions, but Clint found himself smirking in pride at his friend’s speech.

Loki was the first one to come back to the moment and rounded on Thor the next instant. “You _told_ her about me?!” Thor shifted his ax into a defensive position as Loki continued - just in case his brother was feeling extra stabby. “ _Before_ you had even broached the subject with me?”

While Clint and Sam were struggling to catch up with the conversation, the fifth member of their group was having no such trouble. “Wait, wait, wait… you mean to tell us that you came here to discuss this threat and see the woman, in order to confirm your own theories _without_ even addressing the issue with your brother?” All eyes turned to a sheepish looking Thor. “Don’t you think he should have been the one to come and broach the topic with her? After all he’s-”

“ _That’s enough Lady Valkyrie!”_ Thor was wary of involving anyone outside their trio with the full story of what was happening; in truth he had only told Valkyrie everything because she had threatened to beat it out of him and, truth be known, the woman terrified him a bit.

“No I don’t think that’s enough Thor. Now that woman risked being caught by the god of thunder, she faced the guy who laid siege to New York, and she _knows_ that you haven’t been completely honest with your revelations about her. Now, I understand if you thought that revealing the whole truth to Loki would hurt him in someway - which it clearly has - but what you don’t understand is you hurt that innocent girl in there. All she’s ever wanted was answers and if you have them… well you better be damn well prepared to give them to her, because - and totally offense intended - I couldn’t give a flying fuck about _him_ … but _her_? Oh, you don’t want to know what I’d do for her.” At this point Clint was seething; he could clearly see that the blonde Asgardian was trying to get out of revealing everything he knew, or thought he knew, but Clint had had it. He had spent years watching Nya look into every single path she thought might help unlock a door in her head that could lead her to answers or fill in even the smallest of gaps in her memory… and all to no avail. To be honest, he had hoped that after nearly ten years in a coma she would have woken up with that ‘I’m a survivor and am going to live life to the fullest and never look back’ mentality; but as he had sat on the roof of the compound the previous night and watched her fly off, he knew she would never walk away from this pursuit, so he wasn’t about to let Thor just walk away without helping her.

While Thor was engaged in a staredown with Barton, and Valkyrie was still looking at him in shock that he had kept so many people in the dark, and Sam was glaring daggers at Thor while trying to make sure Loki wasn’t going to escape… Loki had put the pieces of his conversation with Nya together with the tidbits of information that had come out in this conversation and his previous conversation with Thor that morning. “Everyone stop… Agent Barton,” Ignoring the daggers being shot from Clint’s eyes, he continued, “If what I have understood from your - justified - rant is correct, Lady Nya does not remember pieces of her past, yes?”

“She doesn’t know anything.”

“What is her first memory?”

“How would I know? I trained her, mentored her, I wasn’t her therapist.” The brush off wasn’t going to work on Loki and Clint could tell by look in his eyes. If he didn’t absolutely hate the man he would have seen genuine concern and care in Loki’s eyes. It took him a minute to calm down, but when the raven-haired god didn’t back down - or make threats, or draw a dagger, etc. - he sighed and explained the situation further. “Look, Nya crash-landed in London. Her dad - well adopted dad I guess - was living in the apartment who’s roof she fell through. He worked for SHIELD and took her in. He worked with her and trained her and helped introduce her to the people who taught her to be the agent she is today. All I know about her memory loss is that Ian Varner didn’t have any clue who she really was - and he looked. From what I’ve heard he dedicated the last few years of his life to getting any bit of information he could find regarding who she might be. And before you ask, no, I never saw a file or a report or anything regarding Nya.”

“Her entire childhood, erased?” Loki turned away from the other four and began muttering to himself at this point even though no one dared to stop paying attention; they all had their suspicions that Loki was going to be the one to piece things together for the rest of them. “She only knew me as the being who attacked New York… then that would mean-… yes, then she _didn’t_ know me… that explains the look-”

“ _Brother_!” Loki whipped his head in his brothers direction, seeming to finally come back to himself. “What exactly are you saying?”

“You believe her to be lying, yes? To be concealing her true identity for…what? Her own protection? To get out of a battle against a threat to this planet?”

Sam refused to stand there and listen to someone claim cowardice on the part of one of the team, “NO! That’s not Nya… Look, I’ve never fought beside her - before my time as an avenger - but I’ve reviewed her files and training videos and mission logs… that girl doesn’t shy away. Its one of the reasons she and Cap got on so well - they don’t shy away from a fight. Bit stupid really…”

“I am aware of that Agent Wilson… believe me, I know better than any here…” Loki felt his eyes fill with unshed tears and quickly willed them away before turning back to Thor and continuing his earlier conversation. “Brother… she didn’t know me. There was _none_ of that recognition in her eyes whatsoever. You know what I say is truth. You can read my lies better than most.”

Thor studied his brothers face for a minute. “You speak the truth. If you believe she is in earnest then we must understand why she was not released from the spell as well. Know you any magic to aid in the return of her memories?”

“I know some… it will not be easy and it is best if _she_ requests it. If it is forced on her then it can be… painful… And I _will not_ cause her pain unnecessarily.”

“Ok can someone explain this to those of us not in the loop?” Clint had grown tired of being ignored in this conversation and knew Sam and the warrior woman probably felt the same. Everyone needed this to be resolved soon so they could move on to addressing the alien threat that had brought on this whole line of questioning.

“Brother?” Thor hung his head and took on the petulant air of a toddler refusing to fess up to a wrongdoing. Loki, seeing this, sighed and mulled over the words he should use to explain what he now knew. “My brother was correct - Agent Nya is indeed the Lady Nymera. What he _failed_ to explain to you all was that he believes he knows why she has no memory of who she really is. He has shared his theory with me - an alternative to his favored theory that she was fooling us all - and now after hearing from you, Agent Barton, I believe I can fill in the rest of the blanks. Are there others of your team who will need to hear this explanation? I would prefer if we explain it only once.”

“Lets head inside then. Barnes will be coming with us and Wanda should be back from HQ. Maybe Bruce is here too.” Sam mentally went through the list of teammates still actively working from the compound before nodding to Barton.

He nodded in agreement and added, “We’ll put in a video call to T’Challa as well. Wakanda should be looped in too. Who knows… Skaati might take the fight right to them when she comes back.” With a nod of his head toward the Asgardians, the five of them wandered back into the compound to round up the others.

__________________________________________________________________________________

She had seen the lightning. She had watched the woman, the trickster, and the… thunderhead… appear on the lawn and strike up a conversation with the bird brains. She was actively glaring daggers toward their party when Wanda wandered into the living room and called out a greeting.

“I thought you had a debriefing today?” Nya had remember someone mentioning that she had just gotten back yesterday from a mission for SHIELD.

“Just got back. Was pretty straight forward. It helps that I can literally put the play-by-play _into_ their heads. Less talking. Less time being stared at.” Nya gave her arm a sympathetic squeeze as she walked past to grab a bottle of water from the fridge in the kitchen behind them. “But what’s going on out there?” She asked, moving swiftly to the windows to stare at the group on the grass. “Something happening- _Is that LOKI?!_ ”

“A lot happened since you went to bed last night…” She chuckled in response to the witch’s shock and was opening her mouth to give her the summary when F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s Irish accented voice interrupted them.

“Agent Varner, Ms. Maximoff - There is a man at the front gate - He says he is Captain Roger’s attorney. I have verified his identity and can confirm that he was indeed retained as a lawyer by Captain Rogers. Shall I allow him on the premises.”

The girls shared an intrigued look and Nya remembered what Sam had spoken to her about the previous night. “Yes please F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’ll meet him downstairs in the lobby. Can you unlock the small meeting room off the lobby for us please?”

“Of course, Agent Varner.”

“I’ll be back Wanda. Sam mentioned a lawyer wanting to talk with me, something about Steve leaving me something. Catch ya later.” With a wave to the young witch she made her way to the elevator and met the lawyer in the lobby area.

“Hello. I’m Agent Varner. I understand you were retained by Captain Rogers before his passing?” She stuck her hand out to the middle aged man and gestured toward the small meeting room that was now lit up for them.

Moving along with her to the room, the attorney placed his briefcase on the table and took a seat opposite to the young agent. “Yes, he did. I’m sorry, my name is Paul Goodman. Mr.- sorry, Captain Rogers was referred to me by Ms. Potts. My firm… eh hem, my firm handled her husbands estate after… well… um, yes.” He pulled a file from his case and put on a pair of glasses before meeting her curious eyes once more. “The Captain didn’t leave much - what I meant was, he left pretty much everything to a few groups of people really. His home and belongings and a good chunk of money to his family, of course. Some of his historically significant belongings to the Smithsonian. Some money to a Veterans center he had connections to. His suits to SHIELD…. But he made sure this was kept separate. Indeed he didn’t even alert me to it until about a week prior to his death,” he tapped his finger on the file in front of him and gave Nya a meaningful look. “He called me up and left specific instructions to deliver this file the day after his passing to the Avengers Compound here in Upstate New York. But I was only to deliver it if an Agent Varner was residing there. He specified that I was only to deliver it to you… But how did you know, if I may ask?”

“Apparently Captain Rogers wanted to cover all his bases… He alerted Agent Wilson that you would be coming by and Sam told me last night to expect you. Is there anything you can tell me about this? For the life of me I can’t think of what would be so important for Steve to leave me.”

“I don’t know what it is, Agent. What I _can_ tell you is that he gave it to me and said that the disc inside the folder would explain it all. Now, can I have you sign this release and then I’ll leave you to it.” Nya signed the paper in a daze and didn’t even snap out of it enough to wish Mr. Goodman a safe drive back to the city or a good day, She just stared at the file in front of her. Hesitantly she reached out and dragged it from its place in the middle of the circular table so it now rested directly in front of her.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the cover to see something she never expected to see: her fathers’ handwriting. _What in the hell? Steve, what were you up to?_ She noticed a manilla disc envelope taped to the inside cover of the folder and reached in to extract the disc Mr. Goodman had said would explain everything. On the front of the disc, in neat lettering, was her name with ‘ _In case I’m not there to tell you in person - S_ ’ directly under it. Just seeing his handwriting sent her flashing back to the letters they slipped into each others gym lockers during their mutual time at SHIELD, before everything went to shit. She’d started it as fun way to catch up with the technological dinosaur (she never did believe he’d ever learn how to text) and as a nod to the 40’s. It was fun; they’d write to each other about life between times when they could hang out, reporting on missions and randomness, and eventually (she started it and he continued with a bit of prodding on her part) they added a little spice to the letters once they’d added a physical aspect to their relationship. She’d know his handwriting anywhere, and now, seeing it right there in front of her… she was hit again by the undeniable fact that he was actually gone. The first tear hit the cover of the file and she couldn’t stop the rest that silently followed it.

So there she was… sitting alone in a room, with a random file, the last thing Steve ever would give her, crying over the last words he would ever write to her. And she couldn’t bring herself to put the disc in the player located on the small media desk off to the side of the room. No, she was going to sit here and debate whether or not she should do it for a bit.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Right after Nya left Wanda, the alert went out to all the Avengers to meet in the living room for a briefing. They all settled on the couch, Bruce being the last to arrive from the lab on the far side of the compound, sitting down right as F.R.I.D.A.Y. initiated a video link with T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye. “As you’ve all noticed, Valkyrie and Thor are back and they brought Loki. And unfortunately we don’t have much choice right now and we actually need him.” Clint couldn’t help the disdain that filled his voice, unfortunately the whole mind-control thing still stung. “He’s going to explain the details but the summary is this: King T’Challa sent this video yesterday, immediately after the encounter occurred.” He asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to play the video and they all watched intently as Skaati delivered her threat once more before he continued. “The person she is referring to is Agent Varner. The specifics Loki will get into but the main thing is this: Skaati is threatening one of our own, a member of our family. We don’t take kindly to that. Be prepared for a fight. Nya’s memory loss has given her no answers in regards to Skaati’s threats and accusations - hopefully Loki and Thor can clear up any confusion.”

He nodded to the dark haired man who stood up to address the room full of heroes. “Nymera was raised in Asgard alongside Thor and myself. However, she does not hail from Asgard initially; Nya’s parents were the rulers of the tenth realm, Valar-” He was cut off at this point by Bruce who had a very confused look on his face.

“Tenth realm? You both have always said there were only nine?”

“This is true, Doctor,” He continued, “The tenth realm is known as the Lost Realm to all those in the universe - indeed, many have left it out of their texts and have forgotten it ever existed as it was a place of mystery to begin with. The Allfather and my mother, Frigga, were close with Nymera’s parents and when war broke out and threatened to decimate the realm, they fled with their child to Asgard and begged Odin and Frigga to keep her there while they left to fight for their people. They quickly agreed and Odin even offed the help of his most talented warriors, but they declined, only being concerned for the safety of their heir and having faith in their own forces. She was raised alongside us and brought up knowing what would be required of a ruler and she also showed an aptitude for other useful abilities and traits as well.”

“What happened to her?” Wanda’s curiosity had gotten the better of her and the young witch was leaning forward on the edge of her seat, hanging on every word that came from the silver-tongued god as she was drawn into the story about her friend. “If she was raised by the king and queen, raised to be royalty, how could she disappear and no one come looking for her?”

Loki’s eyes filled with sorrow and he attempted to avoid eye contact with anyone as he continued his narrative. “Something occurred, I do not know the particulars, but she was cast out of Asgard and sent to Midgard. The following morning, all who knew her well had forgotten she even existed and life continued on.”

“But how?” It was Bucky’s turn to be confused.

“M-my mother. She is the only sorcerer with the ability to erase a person from the minds of so many. To erase someone so ingrained in those people’s lives.” The fury was building with each word out of his mouth and his hands were balled in fists at his sides as he began trembling with the effort to rein in his anger. The woman who he loved more than anything, who raised him, who instructed him, the one he trusted with his life had deleted his dear friend from his memory. He had gone through the worst experiences imaginable without the comfort of his friend because of her meddling - and the worst thing is that he couldn’t even ask her why anymore.

Thor stood up and placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him. “She had her reasons. You know she must have, to have erased Nymera from your mind, brother.” Turning to the others he continued in Loki’s place. “When the dark elves killed our mother her spell was broken. As I told Wilson and Barton earlier, so much was happening at the time that I did not dwell long on Nya once her memory had returned to me. This is my great regret in all this.” Loki’s eyes filled with tears yet again at the mention of his mother’s murder. He still felt tremendous guilt for her death and anger at not have been able to save her - and now guilt and anger for the blame he was placing on her. But the tears in this moment were in remembrance of the moment she passed; he got a searing pain in his head and was brought to his knees, grabbing the sides of his head and screaming in pain. His mother had had to erase countless memories from his mind, indeed, many, many more than from the mind of his brother, and the return of these memories was much more painful for Loki for this reason. Once the pain had passed, he attempted to sit in his cell and read, but found himself staring at the same page for many hours as he thought back onto this development and tried to work out why he was only now remembering her. The answer had come in the form of a guard alerting him to the death of his mother; he had known then that she had worked her magic on his mind and with her passing he was free. He spent the following years during his (rule in the guise of Odin) awaiting the return of the Lady Nymera, figuring she would have regained her memories as well and would return home to Asgard, but she never came; so he pushed his feelings and memories down and focused on the issues in front of him, but now he knew she hadn’t regained her memories and he was itching to delve into her mind to find out why.

“We have to convince her that this is the truth. With Skaati threatening the human race because of her… well, we need her at one hundred percent - mentally and physically. Without settling this, she’s going to be distracted. Tell me you both have a solution to help this along? We don’t really have the convenience of time here.” Sam crossed his fingers as he ended with that question. If the Asgardians didn’t have any idea how to get her on board, then he had no idea how they could leverage Skaati into leaving the Earth unscorched.

“Yes… _but_ only if she consents. I refuse to subject her to the pain that will come with forcing her memories upon her. If she allows me in… then this solution will be painless and fairly easy.” Loki ran his fingers through his hair. If he could only know that she would be receptive to his idea he would be able to relax a bit. He intentionally left out the fact that unlocking her memories had the potential to cause him physical and mental pain as well, but he knew if he had revealed this then Thor would refuse to allow him to try.

“Why would it be painful for her? What would you be doing?” Bucky began to get agitated at the thought of someone messing around with another persons memories. He knew better than anyone the pain that can happen when messing with someones head - even if the person had only good intentions. The process of cutting away the trigger words that HYDRA had implanted was _painful_ but worth it. The subsequent process of unlocking his memories had been less painful but the pain was still there. The Wakandaan princess had done everything she could to make it painless but to no avail. Even having only met Nya, he knew that she was special - she had to be to have been as close as she and Steve were, and there was no ones opinion of others he trusted more than Steve’s. He would do everything he could to make sure she wasn’t put through unnecessary pain.

“I have to enter her mind… magically. It’s complicated to explain but that is the simplest explanation. It can be painful if I have to force my way in past the walls around her mind. If she lets me in when I ask, then it is somewhat like being invited in someones home and walking unimpeded around the place. I would be able to seek out my mothers’ locks around her memories and unlock them. I may even be able to aid with the pain that is inherent with the return of memories. I believe you Midgardians would liken it to a… migraine?”

Bucky nodded his understanding but the concern did not melt away from his eyes. Loki couldn’t blame him and the concern he saw for Nya on the face of the metal-armed soldier made him like him more than he thought he would. “So how do you plan on getting her to voluntarily open up to you?”

“Well… I plan on starting by talking with her. I figured that is as good a place as any in which to begin.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Once she had finally gotten fed up with the debate inside her head, she picked up the disc, walked over to the desk along the far wall, and inserted it into the media player. With a deep breath she sat back in the chair and turned to face the screen along the all. “Shall I play the video file, Agent Varner?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked when she had finished loading and processing the information on the disc.

“It’s a video file, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes ma’am. Shall I play it?”

“Please.”

The video opened up on a bedroom that looked very advanced and regal - _probably in Wakanda_. She immediately knew what this was going to be. He was going to speak to her. _Leave it to ‘The Man Out of Time’ to send me a message from the beyond,_ she thought with a smirk. She focussed back on the screen to see him sit in front of the camera; this Steve had longer hair and a full beard - _how unlike the Captain, must be during his time as an outlaw… but man, thats a good look for him_. He asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. if she was all set. When she confirmed that she was recording, he sighed and smirked at the camera.

“Ok… here we go… Hey, Nya. Been a while. Something big is going down, and incase the worst happens, there are some things in need to say…”


	10. Chapter 10

_He’s seriously doing something like this? Really?_ Nya couldn’t and could believe that Steve would do something like this. His timing was never great.

“…A lot has changed since you’ve been gone ( _sigh_ )… Where are you Ny? Why don’t you come back to us… to me… you said you’d come back to me… God the world’s gone to shit since you’ve been gone.” _Language, Cap!_ She never thought she’d see the day when the stoic, do-gooder Captain would swear! He ran his hand through his longer hair yet again - she figured it was a stress habit he’d picked up since being on the run - and sighed before he continued, looking back into the camera and into her soul with sorrowful, watery eyes. “I waited ya know? I sat outside your apartment door for you to come back. When you were later than I thought you’d be, I… well I broke in - sorry about that. When Hill came by to start dealing with your things she scared the crap out of me! Hehe. She could barely tell me what had happened, but she told me you were gone. I never bought it though Ny. If anyone would have made it through that tragedy it would have been you. I’ve been looking. Never stopped, even when I diverted my attention to finding Bucky - Hopefully you’ve been brought up to speed on the fact that he’s alive, I don’t have enough time to right now but I hope you’ll meet eventually - but even when I was looking for him, I had one eye trained on looking for you. I hope you never see this, because that would mean that you came back to me. I’ve needed my best friend more than I ever thought I could these last couple years. But now… now we’re facing an enemy unlike anything we’ve ever seen.” His Captain persona slipped after he said that and she saw the small boy from Brooklyn peering out of his blue eyes. “I-I’m scared Nya. I have no idea what is going to happen… so many people, _innocent_ people, could die because of this threat. Now more than ever I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders but I can’t let the fear show. We could lose _everything_ … but if we do nothing, we _will_ lose everything.”

He paused for a minute, wiped his eyes and cleared his throat before putting his business face back on and getting to the point of this video. “But like I said, I have some things to tell you. You know that I knew your father - I mean, thats one reason why we grew so much closer was because of the pain of losing him. Ian and I worked together on roughly twenty or so missions. He was brilliant. He was a great teacher and a wonderful man.” She felt the tears welling up in her eyes at the memories his words conjured up. Memories of her father, memories of the early days with Steve, when they were getting to know each other and becoming friends. She felt sad and happy at the same time and she honestly didn’t know which emotion had brought on the tears or if it was a combination of the two. “That final mission… ( _sigh_ ) he told me more about you than I ever thought I would know. Things I’m not sure had even crossed _your_ mind. He told me about your superior strength - which at that point I had already witnessed firsthand. He spoke about this magic you appeared to have and how he encouraged you to use it. About how you never got sick and you healed about as quickly as I do. When I asked him why he was telling me this he said he just had a feeling that he needed to pass the torch to someone, so to speak. He explained how he had been digging through SHIELD files and research from scientists all over the world and from hundreds of different organizations for anything that might give you answers.” Her mind was going a mile a minute as she listened to him talk about what her father was up to.

When she visited Steve in the hospital the other night he had mentioned that Ian had been looking into her abilities but she didn’t realize how deeply he had been looking. She remembered visiting him and seeing his office littered with papers all over the desk and walls and floor and how she would urge him to sleep, eat, rest but he kept saying what he was working on was _the most_ important project of his career - no - his life. _This_ was what he had been working on. Was she a mission to him? Was she an experiment? Why? Her head was spinning as she thought of the possibility that the only father she had ever known viewed her as a ‘work project’ or a ‘science experiment’.

“Stop Nya- ” His firm voice brought her back to the present, “I know what you’re doing over there. Breathe. In, Out. He _loved_ you. _So much_. You were family. You may not have been his biological daughter but he considered you his own child. He told me that his research was purely for you. He had seen how torn up you would get about your past and he really wanted to fill in the blanks for you. I swear on my life and his that this is the truth, directly from his mouth. He wanted you to know who you are.” _Damn his honest eyes!_ Of course she believed him. “Anyway, he left his research in his bag when he went out on the mission…. ( _sigh_ )… I was there Nya, when he passed. I’m sorry, I never told you; I didn’t want to face the questions I knew you would have had if you had known. But he made me swear I would go see you - he didn’t need to make me swear, I would have anyway - and that I would look into his research. I swiped the file before his bag was packed in the plane to take home.”

He was there? With Ian? How had he never told her? They spoke about everything in the time since Ian passed! _Everything!_ She felt betrayed. Now he tells her, NOW when she can’t ask questions anymore! “F.R.I.D.A.Y. pause the video.” She stood up and started pacing. She _knew_ watching this video was a bad idea. She couldn’t confront either of them anymore. She literally was dragged to a dead end and abandoned. Trying her best to see it from their points of view she tried to calm her breathing again.

Her dad probably didn’t want to tell her until he could give her answers, which was no surprise to her; she knew he didn’t like to involve people in a matter until he had all the answers or at least seventy-five percent of the answers, as he had told her as much many times. And Steve… oh Steve. She had leaned on him in the aftermath of her dads death. Then they’d started sleeping together, she could only imagine how complicated that made the issue for him. And then she had disappeared. God, she’d dropped out of his life and she hadn’t been able to say goodbye. Was she mad at him for keeping this from her? Yes. Did she understand? Mostly. She sat back down in her chair and ran her hands through her hair as she gazed back into those beautiful blue eyes she longed to see in person again. “Ok F.R.I.D.A.Y., lets keep going.”

“I looked into his research and… please don’t be mad at me… I even asked Nat to look into some of the stuff. You know how useful a super spy can be. So I added to his research. It’s all in that file in front of you. Read it. But I wanted to give you the highlights myself. So… here it goes…” He took a deep breath and she could see him steel himself up as if he was doing this in person and expected a fight from her, she’d certainly seen that happen enough times. “You’re not from Earth, Nya.” _Ok, starting off with a bang._ “From what I can tell, your… abilities… more closely resemble those of Loki or Thor. My best guess would be that you are Asgardian - but I don’t have any evidence to prove it. But more importantly, you have magic in you. That’s literally the simplest way for me to say it. But the cool part is that from all the readings Ian was able to gather from you - he, um, had sensors set up in your apartment and worked with some brainiacs at SHIELD to put them in your suits to monitor you but _no one_ apart him received the data, I swear! I had Bruce take a look at them but didn’t tell him that it was about you. He confirmed what Ian believed… your body is, sort of, set on low power mode currently - Bruce’s words not mine. Your true potential is locked away in there for some reason, that’s why you’ve never presented a full fledged Enhanced.”

 _Holy fuck._ She stared down at her hand and thought of her ‘magic’. Little tendrils of blue energy danced between her fingertips as she stared wide eyed. _Inhuman. Enhanced. Who am I?_ She snapped out of her reverie when she heard Steve’s ‘captain voice’ appear again. “Now listen up Agent Varner. Pay attention. I’ve wanted to say this many times over the years to you but I knew you’d brush me off and forget what I said in an instant. You. Are. Capable. Of. More. I’ve seen your potential all along, Ian saw the same thing. Knowing this information about who you are only confirmed what we knew all along. You are capable of so much Nya. You’re hero potential. I know you deny that you’re a hero - you always said that the hero thing wasn’t for you and you could never live up to that like I could; but Nya you _always_ did. You always had my back and fought with everything you had to protect the innocent and right the wrongs done by the evil beings that crawl across this planet. So… don’t write this off.”

She _had_ fought him on this point many, many times. She only ever saw herself as a minion, a nobody, a nameless cog in the machine that kept the largest threats to this planetat bay. _He_ always saw someone meant for bigger, grander things. “There’s going to come a time, soon, when you’re faced with a crossroads. You probably won’t realize you’ve arrived there but you’ll have to choose: you can walk away and let the world take care of itself or you choose to become the hero you can be - the hero I _know_ you are. Promise me you won’t run in fear. You’re better than that; you’re stronger than the fear, Nya Varner. Its something I’ve always loved about you. Promise me, yeah?” Nya found herself holding in a sob and nodding in promise to him as she sat at the table hugging her knees to her chest.

His eyes suddenly got a distant look in them and he raised his index finger to his ear. “Ok, I’ll be there in a moment… Buck just let me know they need me. Time to pick up the shield again… ( _sigh_ ).” He looked down and muttered so she almost didn’t hear, “‘If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance.’ ***** ” She smiled a tear-filled smile when she heard the words from one of her favorite movies. She had shown him ‘ _The Two Towers’_ so many years ago and knew he had enjoyed it - apparently he had really enjoyed it. He chuckled and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck as he gave the camera a sheepish smile and just shrugged. “I’ve gotta go Ny. Be strong. I hope I’ll be the one explaining this in person to you but if not - know that you mean so much to me, more than you’ll ever know. Don’t ever doubt that, ok?” He stood after that to grab the phone (she realized from the rotation of the screen when he grabbed it) and stopped the video.

She couldn’t believe everything she had just heard. Sure he had given her a slimmed down version of this great speech in that hospital bed but she had done what he had just finished telling her not to do and had completely disregarded what he had said - in her defense she had had a lot happen in the… oh god, just under forty-eight hours since she’d visited him. _Steve…_ She felt the tears welling up and allowed them their moment as she found herself thinking back to the first day she had met him…

_It had been during her third week in DC. It had been quite the adjustment coming to the States from London. Her father’s time in England was up and Fury had requested his return to the Capitol and of course she had gone with him. Sure she was old enough to venture off in SHIELD by herself but there was so much she was still re-learning since landing in Ian’s flat so she decided to stick close to her father. However, upon arriving in DC, she had opted to go for SHIELD apartment housing than finding a place on her own and to take up Fury’s offer of training the newbies in combat since she had been trained by Agent May, at least for a while before she was required back in the states - she was also introduced to Barton and Romanoff once Ian started introducing her to the ways of SHIELD. Fury also told her she could work up to team and solo missions in the future too, which excited her to no end and terrified her father beyond reason. So here she was, in the training facilities in the Triskelion, with six young men in workout gear standing on one side of a boxing ring as she was trying to impress upon them the importance of not underestimating your opponent based on their size._

_She was doing fine for the most part. The thing that was irking her was the STRIKE team wannabe who was rolling his eyes at everything she said, and she had a feeling young Agent Grant Ward was writing this lesson off on the basis of her being a woman and, therefore, weaker and less qualified than him in a fight. Unbeknownst to her, a certain super soldier had just returned from a visit to Avengers tower and had thought he might get some training time in, only to find the gym currently occupied. Rogers was curious about the gorgeous brunette standing in the ring and lecturing these young men. He also picked up on the stand-offish body language on the part of one of them. Leaning on the doorframe he decided to stay, finding himself captivated by her beautiful British accent, and to see how things would play out - especially once he heard the woman call on that guy in particular._

_“Agent Ward! Is there a reason you are deliberately ignoring what I’ve been saying?”_

_“No. Just already know it.”_

_“So you think you could beat anyone here?” He glanced at the other men in his group and nodded back at her. “Could you beat me?” She tried to hard to keep her emotions in check when she saw him smirk in response to her question. God she wanted to beat that smirk off him! But if he took the bait like she thought he would, then she would get her chance, so she was patient._

_“Yea, I do.” She raised her eyebrow at him in a silent request for him to continue. “I’m significantly stronger and bigger than you. If I couldn’t beat you then all my working out would have been for nothing.” His snarky comment was met with hushed chuckles from his comrades and a loud cackle from behind her._

_Turning around she noticed her mentor, Melinda May, and Fury’s right hand and her new friend, Maria Hill trying not to bust out laughing from their spots against the far wall. “That’s really your opinion Agent Ward?” She saw the smirk had only intensified with the addition of her colleagues laughter, no doubt the idiot thought they were laughing at his snarky comments and not the ridiculousness of his assumptions. “Fine. Gentlemen…” She looked at Hill and waited until she had received a look telling her she could continue before she finished addressing her students. “As long as this doesn’t get back to Fury, place your bets now. You have two minutes.” She turned to one corner of the ring, ignoring the sudden hurried voices behind her and removed her hoodie and pulled her hair into a messy bun._

_“We’re each in for a hundred.” Came Hills voice as she and May made their way to the ring. Nya couldn’t help but smirk and whispered in their direction, “First round is on me tonight ladies.” With a wink she turned back to her group but was cut off before she could begin to explain the expectations of the match._

_“I’m in for two hundred.” All heads whipped to the right of the ring and went wide when they noticed THE Captain America striding toward their group._

_“A vote of confidence from Captain America? Wow… she might want to bow out if he’s betting on Ward.” One of the remaining trainees whispered at a friend._

_“Oh no gentlemen… my bet is on her.” He smirked and pointed at Nya which made her smirk in response. “I’m counting on you Agent…”_

_“Varner. Nya Varner. And your trust - and your money - aren’t misplaced, I can assure you.” After shaking hands with Steve, she turned back to the group, all business now. “Ward. Get in here. Ok guys, normal sparring rules. No dirty fighting Ward or there_ will _be hell to pay. Since Captain Rogers is the big spender today, he can ref - if you’d be so kind?” They nodded at each other and he started the match. Ward immediately struck out with a right hook, in the moment she took to dodge it he swung out with his legs to knock her down. She leaned back to dodge the punch and just let her body continue, bending back into a handstand and then coming to rest on her feet again, having successfully dodged his leg-sweep. The fight went on for a couple more minutes, mainly consisting of Ward lashing out and Nya taunting him with her evasive maneuvers. Finally, deeming it nearly time for them to head to another lesson, she started to fight back. She landed blow after blow and blocked hit after hit. Eventually, she did a leg-sweep of her own and landed him on his ass. He snarled his ‘yield’ through gritted teeth and refused her hand to help him up._

 _“See -_ NEVER _assume you will beat your opponent simply because they are smaller, leaner, or a woman. If you need another example, look to Agents May, Hill, or Romanoff. Dismissed.” Turning around to put her hoodie back on she caught the impressed look on Rogers face and fought to hide her blush from his eyes._

_What she also caught was Ward making excuses to his group. “I was holding out. Didn’t want to hurt a superior. If I’d been at a hundred then she’d be on her ass. That’s her fighting all out? C’mon… its shocking she’s lasted this long at SHIELD.”_

_“WARD! You think that was me going all out? I assure you I was the one worried about hurting you. As to how I’ve lasted this long at SHIELD, well Agent May has been seeing to my personal combat development for nearly six months. And before that, even before my entry to SHIELD, I was adopted by Agents Barton and Romanoff as their personal pet-project. So I assure you, I was the one holding back.”_

_Feeling defiant, Ward turned back, looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Prove it. Fight Captain Rogers.” After a while of exchanging glares, she could tell he wouldn’t back down. Steve could see her decision being made; normally he would be wary of fighting anyone who wasn’t an enhanced or Stark in his suit, but he watched her during her bout and saw that she was calculating how hard to hit, how much to show; in his opinion, she_ was _holding back. When she looked at him and raised that eyebrow in question, he found himself simply nodding in response._

_She told him not to hold back and warned him that she wouldn’t either. The bout went on for twenty minutes, neither gaining the upper hand, before Rogers delivered a kick to her stomach that had her on the floor breathing harder than she had before. Once she was standing up and he could tell nothing had been broken, she held up a hand to stop him from speaking for a moment before turning to the stunned trainees outside the ring. “Lesson’s over. If you haven’t gotten the point yet, you will soon enough. Dismissed.” Before going back to her colleagues, she turned back to them one more time before they had made it out the door, “And Ward,” he turned around with an expectant yet sheepish look on his face. “Head to OPS admin. Get a new combat teacher. You’re done here.”_

_To say Steve was impressed and intrigued would be an understatement. He chatted with the ladies for a few moments before he took his leave but in the days that followed, he surreptitiously gathered information on the mysterious and beautiful Agent Varner, learning that she was garnering quite the reputation. He wasn’t at all shocked to hear two weeks later, that she had completed her first team mission successfully and even come out of it with a nickname. The terrorist cell they had eliminated had called out over their coms that there was a ‘specter’ or ‘ghost’ among them; she had been silent and had glowed (which he figured was just a trick of the light or a hallucination on their part) which had led them to call her this. For weeks the talk around the Triskelion was to do with Specter and Cap smiled to himself every time he heard the name, thinking back to the badass woman he had met and how she deserved the awe and respect they were giving her._

_For her part, Nya read everything she could about Captain America, asked Natasha and Maria so many questions that they ignored her for a week, and listened to any bit of gossip she came across concerning the handsome blue-eyed superhero. Each hoped they would have more occasions to interact and looked for any opportunity. Fortunately, it wasn’t even a month before Fury started pairing them up for trainings and missions. The closer they got, the more impressed they were with each other as agents and individuals. It was the beginning of one of the most wonderful relationships they’d both ever had…_

Drying her eyes at the memories, she thought of her father again and turned to the file on the table and flipped it open to begin going through the pages there. She saw the data on her body scans and read Bruce’s writing in the margins. She read every word her father and Steve had written and made sure she didn’t miss anything. After she had gone through everything she closed the file and took a deep breath. As far as she could tell, they were right - her biology and enhancements _did_ closely resemble an Asgardian's. She knew what she needed to do… but she _really_ didn’t want to. With a resigned sigh she pushed the chair away from the table, grabbed the file, and walked straight into the elevator. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. where’s the rest of the team?”

“In the common room miss.” She asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take her there and attempted to mentally prepare herself for what she needed to do.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok readers - this is where the "Mature" rating starts.... fair warning. I also haven't mentioned it before but this is my first ever fanfic/written work ever - never mind it being the first time writing anything erotic so please go easy on me! haha. 
> 
> Also, this is the beginning of large chunks of italics indicating memories so keep that in mind. 
> 
> Hope you're all enjoying the story! Thanks a million for all the reads and kudos! 
> 
> Warning: Smut

Loki was going to stab someone. Anyone. He didn’t have a preference at this point. They all needed to stop asking so many damn questions. He already didn’t want to explain more than he had already. Not because he couldn’t, but because it wasn’t his story to tell -it was _hers_. No one but Thor (and he suspected Valkyrie as well) knew the connection between himself and Nymera. No one understood the importance of this to him except Thor. Seeing her show up in his room, trailing her hand over the spines of his books, walking around his space had thrown him for a loop. He thought he was hallucinating, there was _no_ way she could be there! He was going to be lewd to startle her and make her leave - as he did with any individual who came into his quarters hoping to get a look at the Jotun/Asgardian prince. He had been caught off guard by her beauty (what he could discern from the darkness), but when she whipped around to find him in the dark and he saw her face… that changed everything for him. His heart had broken into a million pieces when she hadn’t known who he truly was. He didn’t anticipate that his mothers’ spell hadn’t broken for her and in all honesty he had no clue why she hadn’t regained her memories.

What did Frigga do to her? His mother was never cruel, no, she left that aspect of the crown to her husband. So why had she done this? What could possibly have justified the ripping away of the only other person who had meant anything to him? How different would his life have been if she hadn’t been cast out? Would he have provoked Thor to attack Jotunheim? Would he have even smuggled the frost giants into the palace on Thors coronation day to begin with? He gave a great sigh and shook his head; too many thoughts in his head right now but he couldn’t do anything to rid his mind of the chaos. His head was drawn away from the continuing discussion of the team, in the direction of the elevator when he heard the chime announcing someone was arriving at the common area. He didn’t think he could even get butterflies in his stomach anymore but one look at the beautiful brunette exiting the elevator proved that wrong. Hope flooded his veins… until he saw the steely resolve and slight grimace on her face as she approached the group.

She reached the coffee table and turned to look at the two Asgardian men. Tossing the thick file down on the table with a loud smack resonating through the room. With her hands on her hips and a glare fixed on the men she said, “I think its time we talked.”

Thor looked taken aback by her forceful, demanding tone, so different from the demeanor he had seen prior, whereas Loki’s face had paled even further even though his eyes distinctly held a look of relief mixed with hope. “As you wish Lady Nya. What specifically would you care to discuss?” _Could he be any more thick headed!?_ Loki couldn’t believe his brother had asked _that_ question - clearly there was only one matter at hand that she would be wanting to discuss. It took all he had to keep from rolling his eyes or scoffing.

Nya, however, couldn’t resist and did both before crossing her arms across her chest and addressing Thor directly. “Clearly Thunderhead there is only one thing I would wish to discuss. But let me help and lay it out plainly for you. My past. That is what I wish to discuss.” She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair. “I could maybe be persuaded that I am not technically speaking, human.” She gestured to the file on the table, “It seems my father and the dear departed Captain Rogers had been looking into who - or what - I am as well as my powers. They had some help, it seems, from Natasha and Bruce.” She shot Bruce a look from the corner of her eye, making him shift a bit in his seat.

At the questioning looks from some of the others she decided to bypass a lengthy explanation and jump straight to the show-and-tell portion of the lesson. She let her magic flow down to her fingertips and it arced between her hands as she held them in front of her but facing each other. Some of her friends looked astonished, others looked amused but not shocked since they knew she was at least slightly enhanced, and then there were the two gods - they didn’t react at all, well, not how she expected; Thor looked a bit perplexed at her free use of magic but Loki looked proud, he was practically beaming at her. Being on the receiving end of that look… it caused a warmth to spread through her body and she knew there would be a blush creeping up her neck .

“How?” She almost missed Thor’s whispered question as her eyes were locked with a pair of stunningly green ones and her focus was solely occupied by the depths of emotion she found there. Coming back to her senses, she turned to Thor and raised an eyebrow in silent question. “I-I mean… um… h-how did you discover you had magic, my lady?” Nya thought back to the day she had been locked out of the flat in London, not even two months since waking up in Ians flat.

_She had left the building with her father that morning and forgotten to throw her keys in her bag. Her father was tied up in meetings all day and she had needed to run back to grab some training gear before meeting up with Agent May at SHIELD headquarters downtown for her session. Upon realizing she was locked out she decided to try the handle just in case someone had left it unlocked. It was clearly locked and in her frustration she just held on and shook it in rage. When she took her hand away, she was horrified to find that she had crushed the handle in her hand! And the door had become unlocked. She had broached the topic with her father but he chuckled and said that it was an old handle and was probably just weak and that her ‘persistence’ with it was what caused it to unlock. She wasn’t convinced and so decided to keep trying to replicate what she had done. She found, after much trial and error, that she could manipulate metal, cause things to float on occasion, and one terrifying time while she was doing some training by herself in the SHIELD gym she could have sworn that for a moment, there was an identical duplicate of herself standing next to her in the mirror._

She told Thor all of this and then explained that after an accident on a mission she had slipped into a coma for the last 9 years and then spent a year in Russia. She detailed the events of her awakening in Wakanda and how her magic seemed to have intensified. She hadn’t done much with it - besides breaking into the ‘palace’ in New Asgard - since waking but she also didn’t know exactly what all she _could_ do and she had a sinking suspicion that her newly amped up power could allow her to do _a lot_. While she had been filling Thor in on the history of her powers, Loki had grabbed the file and had been sifting through the pages inside. Once her conversation with Thor was finished she heard a “hmmm” come from the trickster. Realizing that the whole room had turned their attention on him, he picked up some of the papers and mumbled “quite thorough” before turning away to look at some more. Nya slipped into a spot on the couch next to Wanda and the other woman asked if she could see Nya’s hand; taking it in hers she flipped it over, her palm open above Nya’s and appeared to be analyzing Nya’s magic in relation to her own (at least that was everyones best guess). While most of the room had either moved on to other topics of conversation or remained focused on Wanda and her experimentation - Nya couldn’t tear her gaze away from Loki. The raven-haired god was sat there with papers from the file strewn around in front of him on the coffee table and had begun picking out different pages in particular while muttering to himself. _Curiouser and curiouser,_ she thought. In the next moment, in the midst of her gazing, his head whipped up and his stunning green eyes locked with her dazzling blue ones; neither one of them could look away. It was as if the whole of the world had faded away and suddenly the two of them were all that mattered or existed.

Oddly enough, the only person who seemed aware of the moment being shared between the two of them was Thor, who had a knowing smirk on his face as he snuck glances at both of them. When Wanda released her hand, Nya snapped back to herself, gathered her thoughts, and turned to address everyone. Before she could, however, Loki spoke up, “It seems the person who compiled all this information was ready to admit you are of other-worldly descent. Are you willing to accept that, my lady?”

“I… I may be willing to concede that point. But the information in those pages basically says that I am Asgardian, which would contradict what Skaati said in that video. How would you explain that?” She lobbed the challenge of her origins back to the god and waited with her arms crossed over her chest as she sank back into the couch while she waited.

He was not intimidated by her gaze, in fact he looked a bit amused by her challenging tone, and matched it when he answered her question. “Well, I have an answer for you, however, I already know that you will not take me at my word considering who I am and the fact that your colleagues would be unable to corroborate my information.”

“So we’re at an impasse.”

“It appears so, darling.”

Sensing a change in the mood of the room, Wanda stood and suggested a break for dinner. Everyone started departing from the common area to other rooms in the compound or heading into the kitchen to help with the food. Nya hoped that maybe Loki would take the rest of the team’s departure as an opportunity to speak with her about the file, since it seemed he was _very_ intrigued by it, but he refused to look up from the papers in front of him, refusing to meet her stare. She realized with a dejected sigh that he was refusing to speak with her; she huffed in annoyance and got up, grabbing a sandwich that was sitting in the fridge, and left in search of something to occupy her mind. She ended up in the media room ( _of course Tony had put in a small movie theater when everyone had moved in_ ) putting in Lord of the Rings and sinking down into the super plush reclining chairs. Try as she might, all of the day’s happening were fighting hard to earn a place in the forefront of their mind, and after fighting it for long enough she drifted off into a mentally-exhausted sleep right there.

When she woke up she realized that it was early morning - what time exactly, she didn't know since her phone had died while she slept there - after making a quick stop in her room to plug in her phone, she wandered noiselessly to the kitchen to grab a glass of orange juice and a poppyseed muffin before wandering out onto the lawn like the night before. _My god… was that really only a day ago?_ So much had happened to her in such a short time. _But what else is new…_ she thought of her life and how many times things had been turned on their head in only a few hours. Most glaringly significant being the accident: in the span of probably eight total hours, she had been rendered unconscious and missed out of every major happening in her organization and her surrogate family. She sighed again as she imagined that day in every detail - wanting to revisit, if only to cling to a hope that she would one day remember everything from her life; it had taken the whole time she was in Russia but she pieced together the memory of that day. _She_ did, all by herself. It could be done. She leaned back on her hands with her legs stretched out and turned her face up to the clear blue sky. Closing her eyes with a sigh, she let her mind drift back to that day.

__________________________________________________________________________________

**_Triskelion, Washington DC, Eleven and a half years earlier…_ **

_“Varner! Fury’s office. Now. He’s sending you out today.”_

_“Thank you Agent Hill.” Turning back to the group of trainees in front of her in the large training facility, she quickly passed them off to the other upper-level agent in the room and rushed to the locker rooms to change before heading to Fury’s office. When she arrived, she found the stoic man seated at his desk and Hill sitting in front of it._

_“Ah, Varner. Good. Sit.” He motioned to the chair next to Hill’s._

_“Hill mentioned I’m heading out, sir. What’s the mission?”_

_“Mission’s highly classified. You will receive your briefing materials on board the jet en route.”_

_“Sir?” This wasn’t how things were normally done… what exactly was this mission? Nya looked to Hill who had schooled her face to its normal professional look._

_“It is a time-sensitive mission, Varner. Time-sensitive and very important. All I will risk telling you here is to expect the highest level of resistance. Do your job well, do your country proud, and return home. Dismissed, Agents.”_

_“Sir.” She and Hill rose and left together. Once in the hall, Nya ventured a few questions. “What in the hell is going on, Maria?! No briefing, no info whatsoever? What is Fury’s game?”_

_“I don’t even know yet, Ny. I’m gonna go get the jet ready.” She started toward the hangar bay but turned back to say one more thing. “One thing I do know is we’re taking both STRIKE teams.”_

_“So he’s worried about the level of resistance… interesting. I’ll meet you there.”_

_“Wheels up in 20.” As she turned to leave, Nya spotted the one person who had been on her mind the most for the last week heading right toward her._

_“Agent Varner.”_

_“Captain Rogers.” Figuring he needed to get to whatever it was he needed to do, she turned to walk back to the locker rooms when she felt a firm grip on her upper arm and was being hauled into an empty office right off the hallway. Once inside she was spun around and faced with a frustrated-looking super-soldier. “Steve-” She wasn’t able to start a sentence before his lips crashed into hers. It had been months since they had done anything remotely intimate. The frustration, stress, tension flowed right out of her at his touch and his kiss and she could sense his frustration dissipating too. When they parted to get some much needed air, it was all she could do not to reach for the fastenings on his suit, which she knew how to remove all too well._

_“It’s been too damn long Nya. I didn’t realize how much I needed you until now. Tell me you’ve got nothing going on. Come home with me.”_

_She wasn’t used to hearing him speak so bluntly or practically beg for something. His confession and pleading nearly had her nodding yes instantaneously, but then her stupid mind had to catch back up to the present and remind her that she had been assigned a mission not even five whole minutes ago. Steve’s smile fell a bit at her hesitation. “Steve… I can’t. Not now.”_

_Mistaking her response as a flat out rejection, he allowed his Captain’s face to fall into place, removed his hands from her body, and began backing away from her and towards the door, opening his mouth to say something in response. Before he could say a word, however, Nya spoke up to clarify. “No - Steve! I’ve just come from Fury’s office. I’m wheels up in fifteen minutes. Very time-sensitive mission apparently.” He felt horrible that he assumed she didn't want anything to do with him and sent that sheepish smile her way and the butterflies erupted in her stomach._

_He stepped forward and placed his hands on her hips again, “In that case…” he began, hoisting her up in the air and letting her legs wrap around his waist and her arms wind around his neck. “Perhaps we can pick this back up when you come home?” He leaned in and began running kisses along her neck. She couldn’t think, only let her head tilt to the side to give him more space to work with. He found the unbelievably sensitive spot under her ear and latched on, causing a moan to escape her throat as she wound her fingers in his soft hair. “Say yes Nya… I need you… please.” He muttered between kisses to her neck. His hands hadn’t been idle, one traveled up to caress and squeeze her breasts and the other had settled on her ass, squeezing there as well. She was in Heaven! Back in the unbelievably strong arms of her Captain._

_She could feel him between her legs, big and hard, hitting her just right; she couldn’t keep the moans silent anymore and dropped her head to latch her lips onto his neck as well, pulling a sexy and strangled moan from his lips. God, he loved having her in his arms, he’d missed his friend… no, that didn’t seem right anymore, hadn’t since the morning after their first night together… he’d missed his_ lover _. His heart may still belong to Peggy, but she had moved on in the years he’d been gone and he thoroughly enjoyed all the time he spent with Nya whether it be casual, professional, or intimate, and right now he desperately wanted some of that intimate time with her._

 _“Oh… Steeevvee…” She desperately wanted to just divest them of their pants and have a quickie in the office but she knew it wouldn’t be quick - it never was with him… god, that man had the stamina to ensure_ very _thorough satisfaction for any lover. She tugged on his hair to pull his head back; their eyes matched, darkened with mutual desire but they both knew they had to stop. He let her down, making sure she felt every inch of his muscular form against her body in the process, and nodded in understanding before leaning in to sweetly, yet passionately kiss her lips again. “Don’t lose that thought, Captain.” she said with a smirk when they parted. “We’ll discuss when I come home.”_

_She kissed him quickly and then turned toward the door. “I’ll find out when you’re on your way back and meet you at your place.” His desire to not waste any time turned her on yet again and she found herself hesitating at the door and looking back at him with eyes clouded with lust and longing. “Be safe Nya. And come back to me. Please.”_

_She thought back to the agreement she and Hill made after Ian’s passing and when she and Steve had gotten really close. She made Maria promise that she would bring her body home, no matter what condition. That she’d bring her body home to her family, because Steve was the only family she had left and she didn't want to abandon him, ever. “Roger that Rogers. I’ll come back to you, one way or another.” With a chuckle at her little joke, they shared a smile and she left to meet up with STRIKE at the weapons room. She wanted a fight this time… her body was buzzing with pent up energy and if this was the only way to vent it, then so be it._

_She found Rumlow and Hunter in the weapons room talking over plans of attack. She was barely in the room before Rumlow threw a tactical vest at her. “New tech. Check it out. Stark just sent it over with new modifications.”_

_She took note of what appeared to be nanotech imbedded in the vest along with the standard bullet proofing and weapons pockets. The new additions being ammo pouches along the side and what Hunter said was microscopic homing beacons and tracking devices laced into the material. “This way, SHIELD has a backup in case our standard coms tracking shorts out.” Smart._

_“So how many?” She asked Rumlow._

_“Well we’ve got me, my team of eight, Hunter and his team, also of eight. So eighteen.”_

_“Add me and Hill and we’ve got an even twenty.”_

_“You know anything about this op?”_

_“Nothing. Fury said we’ll be briefed in the air.”_

_“Lets head out then.” They finished grabbing all the weapons they wanted and the three agents headed to the jet where they met up with everyone else and made a quick takeoff. After a bit they heard a beep in their coms and all listened up as Hill briefed them on their mission._

_“Alright, we’re headed deep into Siberia. Intel says theres an old HYDRA base that’s active recently. Ironman was in the area and we had him do a flyover. Readings from J.A.R.V.I.S. showed nuclear radiation readings. Scans of the base and facial recognition showed mainly nuclear scientists and lab techs with a HYDRA militant guard. Orders are to get in and shut it down. If they’re dealing in nuclear weaponry we need to dump the computers so we have the intel. Head scientists are to be taken into custody. The base is to be evacuated and a SHIELD crew will come to decommission the reactor and destroy the base.”_

_“Sounds straight forward. Hunter will lead the infiltration of the base. Specter, Hill, and myself will hang back until teams one and two have cleared our way to the main chamber where we will facilitate the shut down of reactor and taking the scientists into custody. Understood?” Rumlow addressed the rest of the strike teams._

_“Sir, yes sir!”_

_“Did SHIELD specify anything else?” Nya asked while flipping through Starks surveillance photos._

_“Nothing.” Hill and Nya made eye contact, knowing that what she was really asking was about the allowance of deadly force. Unfortunately, the STRIKE teams (particularly Rumlow and team one) were not known for holding back when it came to expending bullets; they were more the ‘shoot first and skip questions all together’ type. Knowing that probably the only non-friendlys’ to make it through this would be the scientists that would end up surviving the mission._

_When the pilot announced that they were a few minutes out, they all stood and geared up. The jet opened up and the two strike teams jogged out and got to it. When the all clear came over the coms, Rumlow pulled on a tactical mask (Nya always thought it just looked like a ski mask cliche robbers used), Hill double checked her guns, and Nya affixed her ‘muzzle’-like mask. It attached around the back of her neck and covered from her nose to under her chin. When her eyes and skin glowed, she looked like a creepy ghost, hence her ops name, Specter_ (Upon reflection she realized in the current moment, sitting on the lawn reminiscing, that her mask was not unlike the one Bucky wore as the Winter Soldier).

_They made it down to the lowest level of the base with no trouble, and when they reached the thick vault-like door that separated them from the reactor they paused to reload and then Hill eased open the door while Rumlow and Specter took aim and prepared - they weren’t prepared though for the mayhem that faced them on the other side of the door. The scientists were running every which way and alarms were going off. Every computer was smoking and people were burning papers as fast as they could._

_Running over to one of the still working computers, Nya read that someone had initiated a meltdown procedure to cause a total destruction and meltdown of the whole base. It was suicide! But this was HYDRA and they weren’t worried about death… they were only worried about defeating SHIELD. Hill and Rumlow were engaged in hand-to-hand with some HYDRA agents who were guarding the room. She thought about what she could do. She tried to call Hunter but her coms didn't connect. Thinking it over she knew there was only one option. She shot and fought a path to her teammates and shoved them through the door._

_“What are you doing?!” Rumlow turned on her, pissed that the mission was being hindered._

_“Didn't you see what they were doing?! They’ve initiated a bloody meltdown! We have to get out!” She shouted at them. They turned to each other and immediately launched into making a plan to get the info they needed and to get out. While they were talking, however, Nya had slipped a USB into Hills suit and slipped back into the reactor room and the next thing they knew they heard the big door click into place._

_“What happened? Nya?!” Hill pounded on the door and looked up to the small window and she saw Nya with her head down and her shoulders shaking. “What the hell are you thinking?! Open the door Nya!”_

_“No! This is the only way! Get the hell out and get the team out too. Theres a USB with all the info I could get off their computers in your hip pocket. Use it to take HYDRA down.”_

_“I’ve gotta get you back home! Don’t be stupid!”_

_“GO!! A-and… Maria… don’t come back to get me… it’s too dangerous. I promise I won’t haunt you for not bringing my body back.” She tried for a reassuring smile and chuckle and hoped thats how it came across to her dear friend. “NOW GO!!!! Brock get her out of here!” Rumlow grabbed her arm and dragged her kicking and screaming away from the door. Nya rested her head on the door and allowed her a few seconds to focus on the people she’d miss. Steve… oh god, Maria better tell him about what happened and she hoped he’d understand._

_Then she steeled herself, pulled out her gun and shot her way to the reactor. Reholstering her gun and raising both her hands she called on all the power she’d ever had to contain the explosion for even a little bit longer so her team could get out. She felt the explosion fighting against her shield and felt the tears slipping down her face as she heard the screams and cries of the HYDRA scientists behind her as they were frantically trying to get out. When a couple minutes had passed she let the explosion free, closed her eyes, and waited._

_Then she felt it._

_The heat. Searing heat. Then nothing._

____________________________________________________________________________________

Jolting out of her reverie she suddenly realized she wasn’t alone anymore. She called her magic into her palms instinctively; the next moment, she rotated her upper body around to face the intruder with her glowing palms out in front of her.

“Easy there, sweetling. You could hurt someone if you’re not careful.” The trickster had the nerve to smirk at her. He had his palms raised up near his head and was smirking at her while she was still contorted on the ground. With a sharp glare in his direction she turned back around so she wasn’t looking at him.

“Whatever tricks you’re here to play, you can forget it and go back inside. I have too much to think about to waste a thought on you.” She closed her eyes and didn't see the hurt expression on his face at her final sentence. But the next thing she sensed was a presence sitting on the grass next to her. Peeking one eye open she saw him sitting crossed legged next to her, staring up at the clouds that had rolled in in the time she had been sitting. “Was there something you needed?”

“I sensed you wished to discuss things yesterday. I apologize for my behavior but I simply was not prepared to address your questions. If you have them now I am willing to listen and answer to the best of my ability. No lies.” She eyed him warily. How could she know he wouldn’t lie to her? Sensing her line of internal questioning he was quick to add, “I know you have no reason to trust me but I promise, I had no idea Thor had been to see you. If I had known I would have insisted on accompanying him and explaining things myself. I do not condone the half truths he told you and I apologize for his _utter_ idiocy.”

“How could you have been of more help? I’m confused. The way he talks, it sounds like you know more than even he does about me. But it also sounds like he’s afraid of what this situation would do to you. I don’t know if I can trust what you say… but I need to know. Are there any assurances you could give me? Any at all?”

“All I can do is give you my word as a prince and swear on my life that what I would tell you is truth.” When she didn’t look appeased he broached the tougher route to illumination. “There _is_ another way for your past to be revealed to you…” Just as he expected and feared, her eyes lit up and she gave him her full attention. “It is difficult, time consuming, and has the possibility of pain. But it… I believe it is the only way that you will truly believe that I am not lying to you.”

“It’s painful?” She started chewing on her lower lip at that. She wanted answers but the recent trip down memory lane had left a residual feeling of being in the epicenter of an explosion ghosting through her limbs. Was this worth more pain? And if a _god_ is saying its painful then how much worse would it be for her?

Her discomfort tugged at his heart and instinctively he reached over and grabbed her hand. “It _can_ be. I need to access your mind… with my magic. I promise the use of the big scary machines in the compound infirmary are unnecessary, darling. There is not as much pain if you willingly let me in; if you fight me then I have to fight back and a battle inside the confines of the mind is very painful.”

She sat silently for a few minutes and stared at her hand in his; he was holding her hand in one of his and stroking the top and fingers with his other one. She couldn’t help but think of how right it felt, how their hands seemed to just… fit together like pieces of a puzzle. She wasn’t afraid in his presence, yet again, in fact she felt more at ease than she had since Barton and Pepper arrived in her place in Russia. Looking up at him through her lashes she saw that he was doing the same as her - staring at their hands - only his face showed sorrow, longing, and maybe a smidgen of pleading.”What exactly would you be doing if I let you in?”

His head shot up and he blinked a few times as he stared at her as if trying to figure out if she actually spoke. “Your missing memories are not, strictly speaking, missing. My mother…” She saw him fighting with himself on whether or not to continue so she squeezed his hand in encouragement. “She is the reason you cannot remember. She used a spell to lock your memories away deep inside of your mind. Before you ask, no, I do not know what could have prompted her to do this. I would be walking through your mind until I found her locks. Then I would need to use my own magic to break them. Normally if they were broken, all the memories would come swarming back to you at once - which hurts beyond belief - _but_ I can open the lock and slip behind it. I could help sift through and allow them to drift back to you… It would take a while but I am hoping the way I would do it would facilitate the return of your memories without the pain…. If you’ll trust me, that is?”

“I need to think about it.” Her heart broke a bit when she saw his hopeful look fall before he could quickly school a smile. “You understand, right? It’s a lot to take in…”

“Of course dearest. Think and find me when you have made your decision.” She nodded and rose to head back into the compound. “Lady Nya,” he called out suddenly. “I will understand and respect your decision either way.”

“I know.” He watched the wonderful, beautiful woman walk back into the building hoping beyond hope that she would return to him.

His hope was replaced with elation that evening before dinner. Thor and the rest were seated in the common room and Mjolnir was sitting on the coffee table with the other avengers taking turns trying to lift it. Nya was leaning against the counter of the island in the kitchen watching the ongoings when Loki wandered over and stood close to her. They were silent and were both watching the others when he heard what he never thought he would.

“Lets do it.” He whipped his head in her direction as a smile started to form on his lips. “I _have_ to know. Pain or no pain… I’m tired of not knowing who I am. I trust you Loki… Don’t let me down.”

Joy exploded in his chest as he took her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “I will not fail you, My Lady.” He led her to the elevators and pressed the button for her floor. This was his chance and, if it was the last thing he ever did, he would make sure he wouldn’t fail. He led her to her door and told her to change into something comfortable because they would be working at this for most of the evening.

When she retreated into her room he teleported himself down to the kitchen to get them both generous helpings of the dinner the young witchling had prepared. As he hesitated outside her door, he realized he was nervous. There was so much at stake with this; he could get her back or he could cause her immense pain. Or... he could cause her pain _and_ get her back... or he could leave her with more questions and less answers. He couldn't bear letting her down. But he found that he wanted to give her back her memories, even if it was painful, because then he could just gather her in his arms and give her the comfort she needed.

There was so much riding on this... but all he had to do was knock on the door. He quickly summoned some comfy sweat pants and a plain grey t-shirt before knocking on her door. The creature who greeted him was mesmerizing. She had washed her face and put on some mascara at the last minute (after all, she _did_ find him attractive), put her hair in a messy bun on the top of her head, and changed into a green flowy tank top and some plain black leggings. She thought she looked plain, he thought she hung the moon. For a minute they simply stood there staring into the others eyes, once again unable or unwilling to avert their gazes. Eventually her brain registered the delicious smell coming from the plates he was holding; noticing her eyes travel to their dinner he shook his head to clear it and gestured inside her room. "I figured the young witch had made dinner by now and thought you might enjoy some. We will be at this for a while so I was unsure when you would be able to travel down to get some food.”

She blushed at his thoughtfulness and gestured to the couch near the windows. "Thank you, that was very thoughtful." They sat on opposite ends of the couch while they ate their dinners, content for now to sit in the comfortable silence that lingered between them. Eventually they both finished and Loki disappeared their plates to the kitchen before he turned his body so he was facing her.

"Now, turn to face me, darling." She scooted closer to him and sat with her legs crossed facing him. "Good. Now, put your palms on top of mine." She connected their hands and neither could deny the electricity that radiated out through their whole bodies at the connection. "Alright... close your eyes... take a deep breath..." She did as he asked and the next moment she swore she could see and feel him in her minds eye. The realization that it was actually Loki made her gasp slightly. "Easy Nya... It's just me. Let me in dearheart... please." At his words she felt him gently knocking on the door to her subconscious and was amazed the feel herself open a 'door' to him. When he entered her mind, he began a fast paced stroll down 'Memory Lane' until he came to a stop in front of a void. When she caught up to him, they both stared at the darkness.

"Wish me luck darling. This is where it can get tricky." She watched as he raised his palm before the blackness and a green glow was emitted from his hand. After a bit of time and considerable energy on Loki’s part, the void began to crack and the physical-her felt a pressure-like build-up in her head - it wasn't painful, per se, but it wasn't comfortable by any means. She focused her attention on mind-Loki again, ignoring her discomfort, and saw that he was walking to a large crack in the void... only there was something beyond it. He turned before venturing in and held out a hand to her. "Well? Are you ready to see who you really are?"

This was it... she was going to find out everything she had ever dreamed of learning: where she was from, who her family was, she was hopefully going to understand why she felt like someone very important was missing from her life. A blinding smile broke out on her face and she took a deep breath and eagerly gripped his hand and let him tug her through he crack he had created in the wall around her memories.

_This is it_... they both thought, Everything is about to change.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I mentioned last chapter - get ready for large chunks of italics meaning memories and flashbacks! So naturally this means that any sentences that are thoughts of the characters are going to be in standard font (as well as words being emphasized by the characters) ENJOY! Hope you're all liking it so far!

When her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, she glanced around her and saw she was in room that closely resembled a throne room or a great hall in the time of the Ancient Greeks. There were alcoves every few feet down the long hall, the walls and the floor were a shining gold, and in every alcove was a floating orb or white, opalescent light each pulsing with its own rhythm. She was brought back to the task at hand by a small tug on her hand, her hand she hadn’t even realized was still being held by the raven-haired God of Mischief. He nodded in the direction of the closest orb off to the right and tugged her toward it, extending his hand to touch it and suddenly, they weren’t in the golden hall anymore…

_They crossed through into an outdoor space; it was a gorgeous, sunny day in the garden they found themselves watching. In the distance, Nya noticed a looming structure made of what appeared to be pure gold. “Asgard… and these are my mothers personal gardens. She loved nature and flowers and the peace being here afforded her.” The look on Loki’s face as he explained where they were was full of sorrow mixed with joy at being able to revisit something obviously so precious to him. He never thought he’d see Asgard again (unless he cast an illusion… but it wasn’t really the same thing) since Ragnarok._

_Further explanations were cut off by the sound of childish squeals and two young boys running through the hedges. One was dressed in green leather and cloth with shortish, dark raven-colored hair and sharp adorable features._ Loki… _Instinctively she knew it was him as a child. The second boy who was doing the chasing had long blonde hair and was wearing red and silver. He had a few inches on little Loki and exuded an air of masculine confidence, even for one so young, and Nya figured this must be Thor. She grinned as she watched them playing and it made her happy to see the brothers smiling and laughing together - she figured it had been a while since they both had experienced fun and pure joy at spending time together. She turned, having seen movement out of the corner of her eye; behind the large, exotic tree she saw a head of wavy dark brown hair peeking out from around the trunk. Little Loki was running, intending to hide behind the same tree, but came up short standing there and trying to see behind it. He cocked his head to the side in contemplation and simply stared at the tree trunk. While he was staring, the person behind the tree peeked out again and this time, was met with the startlingly emerald colored eyes of the young prince. For his part he was struck speechless by the cobalt colored depths of the young girls eyes._

_While they stared at one another, Thor had caught up and upon seeing the intruder, came to his little brothers defense. “Who are you?” The blonde boy demanded in his most confident, princely voice while he moved to stand between Loki and the girl. “How did you get here?”_

As if a small child is any threat, you blundering oaf! _Loki thought as he rolled his eyes dramatically and stepped out from behind Thor and moved slowly toward the tree, afraid of spooking the young girl more than Thor’s oafishness already had. “What’s your name, miss?” He asked in a gentle tone._

_The girl eyed him cautiously for a moment and then, having determined that this boy was not going to hurt her for obviously being somewhere she wasn’t expected, moved fully out from behind the large tree. “Nymera… my name is Nymera.” She had her hands twined behind her back and was looking down at her feet, clearly embarrassed at having been caught spying on their game._

_“You are not of Asgard, are you, Nymera?” Loki asked, having sensed she was from another realm. Surely if a girl so pretty had been living in Asgard his whole life he would have remembered encountering her! She nodded her head in confirmation to his question. Feeling suddenly and surprisingly brave, Loki walked right up to her and placed his fingers under her chin, raising her head so her stunning eyes met his again. “You need not fear us. I am Loki, Prince of Asgard. This…_ oaf _is my elder brother, Thor. You’ll come to no harm from us.” She slightly moved her head so her chin was released from his gentle grasp, but Loki was pleased to see she did not sever their eye contact upon gaining this freedom. “May I ask… what are you doing on Asgard? And how you came to be in my mothers’ garden?”_

_“My mother and father… they are here to speak with The Allfather and Allmother. They asked me to leave them be while they spoke and the Queen herself told me how to reach this place. I-I am s-so sorry… I did not mean to intrude, your highness.”_

_“You need not apologize, Lady Nymera. If our mother offered the use of the gardens to you herself then it is we who should be apologizing…” Thor began, but quickly changed his words at a sharp look from his brother, “Pardon me.._ I _should be asking your forgiveness… I should not have jumped to accusations like that.” He offered her a slight bow and she curtsied in acceptance of his apology. The boys offered to show her around the gardens and they thoroughly enjoyed the next hour of wandering. Nymera particularly liked the explanations Loki would give her on what each plant was. He explained that he had helped his mother choose what would be planted in some areas and Nymera gathered that he and his mother had quite the special bond, it made her smile and think about her parents and the special relationships she had with both of them. Loki and Nymera were bent over examining a deep red flower when they heard voices calling for the three of them. Rushing toward the source of the calls, the three children came face to face with their parents._

_“There you are, sweetheart!” Her father exclaimed as he crouched down and extended his arms toward his little darling. “Papa!” Nymera ran and practically jumped into her fathers arms._

_“So this is the lovely little Princess of Valar.” She turned her head from her fathers shoulder where he held her, and was met with the stare of an older, one-eyed man with a golden eyepatch and golden clothing and armor whom she hadn’t seen when she left her parents earlier. “It is my great honor to meet you, Nymera.” She extended her hand toward him, like her parents had taught her, and he grasped her fingers and placed a sweet kiss on her knuckles. “I am Odin, Ruler of Asgard and Allfather.”_

_“Hello.” She managed to squeak out and buried her head in her fathers neck again, earning chuckles from her mother and Frigga._

_She gazed questioningly at her mother who, understanding the question in her daughters eyes, beckoned her to her side. “Darling, come here.” She wiggled down from her fathers embrace and went to her mother who crouched down along with Frigga. “Sweetheart, you remember why we needed to leave Valar?” She nodded, remembering the rush of the servants and palace guards to pack her things and rush her to her parents. She remembered the screams in the distance and the sounds of oncoming battle as they rushed to the gardens of the palace and her father called out to the skies. “Well love, you are going to stay here for a while… It is too dangerous for you at home but your father and I are needed. We have to be there for our people. But we will come back for you as soon as things are settled.” Tears welled up in her eyes, now understanding that her parents were leaving her here and finally understanding why it was only her things that were brought with them. She began to shake her head as the tears fell, not wanting to accept that she would be parted from her parents._

_“Nymera… darling…” Frigga placed a hand on the little girls back and rubbed soothing circles there. “Your mother only wants you to be safe. You’ll enjoy it here. There are horses, and you can play here in the gardens, and you can spend time with Loki and Thor. And you’ll see them soon dearest. You’ll be safe here and we’ll take good care of you. Can you be strong for them, Nymera?” Gazing at the beautiful Queen she nodded slightly as she leaned farther into her mothers arms. She hated this. They were leaving. But she knew she couldn’t do anything to change it. In her heart she could feel that this was necessary. They’d be back for her very soon. And it wouldn’t be so bad, right? She had enjoyed spending time with the princes. She peered over her shoulder at Loki. He offered her a small smile, but she noticed the water in his eyes as well at seeing the painful family moment._

_“It broke my heart, seeing this.” Loki turned to Nya, who was crying at what she was seeing. She could feel every emotion her young counterpart was feeling - it was an odd thing but it allowed her to know that it was_ indeed _her own memory. She turned to meet his eyes as he threaded his fingers with hers. “I didn’t know they were going to be leaving you when we met but hearing it from them… I-I couldn’t bear the pain it must have caused you. I had only known you a moment but I felt so attached. Don’t get me wrong… I was thrilled at the prospect of getting to spend more time with you… but still.” She squeezed his hand and nodded in understanding. He tugged slightly and began to lead her out of the orb of this memory they had entered._

_Gazing across the hall, she noticed another. Looking to Loki for confirmation, he motioned for Nya to lead on and she walked them to it. Reaching a hesitant hand forward, she touched her index finger to the orb and found them transported into another memory.Anxious to see what else she had missed, Nya pulled Loki along with her. This one, however, didn’t have the bright, sunny feeling the other one did. This memory was dark, gloomy… sad. They walked along the golden halls of the Asgardian palace until she came to a sudden stop in front of a set of white doors with gorgeous filigree patterns etched in gold on them; she didn’t know why she felt drawn to stop there, but she felt the pull and stood staring at the closed doors._

_They both turned when they hearth sound of a door opening a little further up the hallway from the room they were stopped at. Nya smiled to herself when she saw little Loki tiptoeing silently down the hall and stop in front of the same doors. She watched as he raised his hand to knock but then, it seemed, second guessed himself, shook his head before turning and starting back down the way he had come. Nya’s face fell at this and she found herself wondering why this was an important memory… until she saw Loki slow down not three doors down, and look back over his shoulder wistfully. He turned back around but she saw the deep sigh and the squaring of his shoulders before he turned back around with a determined look on his face and slowly made his way back in their direction. The closer he got, the more nervous he seemed and it made Nya giggle slightly - which earned her a glare from the Loki by her side._

_The other Loki stopped in front of the door and waved his hand in the air, suddenly there was a beautiful scarlet flower in his hand; Nya gasped quietly as she realized it was the same kind she and Loki were observing in the garden in the last memory. Loki looked at the flower with a discerning eye before waving his hand once more. In his hand, next to the red flower two more stalks appeared: one made up of several medium sized blooms in a brilliant shade of blue that - if she wasn’t mistaken - was close to the same color of her eyes, and the other was odd - it had a deep purple stem and purplish leaves with streaks of forest green running through them and the flower itself was similar to the lilies on Earth with long petals colored an emerald green but fading to royal purple and finally to a deep purple at the center of the flower - the green matched Loki’s eyes. He smiled and set the blooms on the floor in front of the doors and then proceeded to knock and dash across the hall to hide behind a pillar._

_The door in front of them opened a crack and Nymera peered out with a curious look on her face at seeing no one there. She was about to close the door again when she looked down and saw the flowers; gathering them in her hand she pressed them to her nose and smelled the sweet blooms. She closed her eyes as she did and smiled while Nya and Loki noticed a faint blush coloring her cheeks before she retreated back into her room after another look down the halls. Behind them, they noticed Loki had creeped out of his spot and was staring at the door with a mesmerized look on his face and a blush creeping up his neck. He smirked and chuckled to himself before making his way back to what Nya assumed were his quarters._

_Before they could talk about what had happened, the scene changed slightly; they were still in front of Nymera’s room but it was nighttime and they sensed a day or so had passed. Again they saw Loki tiptoe down to her door but this time when he got there, there was a tray of uneaten dinner already waiting outside it. He sighed and vanished the food, most likely to the kitchens. Then he magicked up a delicious looking piece of chocolate cake and set it on the tray before summoning another of the green flowers and laying it next to the cake. He knocked on the door again before dashing to his new hideout behind the pillar. This time when Nymera opened the door she had her hair up and the Asgardian version of pajamas on; she looked like she hadn’t slept and had visible bags under her red-rimmed eyes and Nya knew she had been crying through the night. She smiled when she saw the delicacy on the tray and the smile only grew when she reached for the flower that accompanied it. Smelling the flower, she picked up her cake and retreated into her room. Loki emerged and began heading back to his room with a wide grin on his face and the same blush creeping up his neck._

_They watched this similar pattern happen a couple more times; the next time, Loki left her some books and a note that had read, “_ I’m not sure what you would like to entertain yourself so I chose some history, fiction, and a text on magic that I am currently learning in my studies. I hope they lift your spirits and engage your mind. Should you wish to discuss, I am down the hall. ~ L”. _The time after that was during morning time, he left some delicious smelling pastries for her that were obviously a success if you considered her blinding smile upon smelling them. The next was a wrapped box that, upon being opened, erupted in a dazzling display of small fireworks above her head. Each time, he conjured the same flower and left it with his gift. The final time it was a single piece of paper, folded, with an “_ N _” scrawled on the cover. Upon receiving it, Nymera blushed and quickly retreated back into her room. Not twenty minutes later, Loki returned dressed in a nicer version of his usual attire and knocked once again - this time, however, he didn’t run away but stayed and put his hands behind his back, fiddling with his sleeves as he waited. When the door opened, Nymera was wearing a light blue gown and her hair was carefully hanging over her shoulder in delicate waves. She greeted Loki meekly and he reached for her hand to place a kiss on her knuckles as he bowed over it (an act that had both of them blushing and stuttering). “I wasn’t sure you would meet me.”_

_“I figured it was time for me to emerge from my hiding and get to know my new home. Thank you for your invitation to escort me to dinner.”_

_“Anytime, Nymera. You need only ask and I shall be here.” They watched the two blushing children as Loki extended his arm to her and led her away as she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow, chatting quietly about who knows what._

_Again, once they were left alone, Loki was the first to speak. “Two months.” When she asked what he meant by that he continued on. “It took two months for you to leave your room. I visited every day but you never came to see me or crossed more than three feet from the threshold of your room.”_

_Her jaw dropped at that. “I was sad. I was a young child and had just been separated from my family. I-I felt the grief, the pain… while watching it I mean. I am sorry to have passed some of that sadness to you.” She reached up and placed her palm against his cheek and was stunned when he leaned into her touch. “I knew… that it was you.” Now it was Loki’s turn to be shocked. “From the first gift. I knew it was you. It was the sweetest thing. Thank you for being the friend I needed even though I didn’t acknowledge it.”_

_“Anytime, Nymera.” He said, echoing his young doubles words from a moment ago._

_Taking her hand he led her forward, down the hall toward the bright, shimmering light and they found themselves in the bright, shining hall again; this time, he led her to another orb, looking for her nod before pulling her forward into the light of another lost moment.They were back in the same hallway as in the last memory, only this time Nymera was rushing out of her room and running down the hall. When she reached a door about five rooms from her own she knocked quickly and stood back, arms crossed and foot tapping in impatience. When the door opened little Loki emerged with a smirk on his face. “Good morning Nymera. Something I can help with?”_

_“Loki! We’re going to be late! You know your mother detests tardiness!” She reached out and grabbed his hand and began dragging him back in the direction of the observing couple._

_“Nya… You KNOW she won’t be angry with you. Besides, it’s only your first lesson!” Though his tone seemed a bit annoyed, the grin on Loki’s face was genuine as he allowed the tiny girl to drag him along the hall. He enjoyed seeing her this expressive and full of life, it was a nice change from the sullen girl who would not leave her room or wouldn’t say a word to anyone during meals since coming out of seclusion._

_The two children rushed past Loki and Nya and the two observers followed at a leisurely pace behind them. Loki took this chance to explain the memory to her. “This is a few months on. You had taken to coming out for family meals but wouldn’t say a word, just nodded or shook your head. I kept visiting you and talking to you and eventually you became the menace we see here.” They were both grinning at that and she playfully smacked his arm. “My mother sensed something in you over the time since you came to live with us, something to seemingly indicate you had magic, so she began allowing you to attend my lessons. I dare say, you are one talented sorcerer my darling.” She felt pride swell up inside her at his praise and a blush dusting her cheeks at his term of endearment; she picked up the pace, eager to see how skilled she may be in this magic that she didn’t realize she had. They followed the pair into the most beautiful library Nya had ever seen. She forgot about the children and the memory and simply gazed in open-mouthed wonder at the beautiful room._

_“What?” She asked a bemused Loki upon returning her eyes to her companion. “What is that look for?”_

_“You may have lost your memories… but that is the same reaction you had as a child upon seeing this room for the first time.” They chuckled at that. “And that reaction is still as adorable and bewitching as the first time.” He had strolled over to her and raised his hand to her face to stroke his knuckles gently down her cheek as he said this. She had a feeling she knew what she meant to Loki - what the return of her memories could mean for him - but she was eager to see it play out in her minds eye, so she turned her eyes back to the children sitting at a table, huddled around Fridge and peering at a thick old book._

_They watched as Frigga instructed them on gathering their magic in their hands and having it manifest as a glowing orb. Though this seemed very basic, even to the older Nya, she noticed that little Loki seemed not to mind the beginner level lesson and was in fact very enthusiastic when it came to her successes, no matter how small. Once they had seen little Nymera had made a ball of blue light appear in her hand, Nya heard voices behind them. Turning around toward the bookcases, she saw another pair of Loki’s and Nymera’s; these two were perusing the stacks as Loki pointed out his favorites. This sort of overlap in moments continued for some time. Showcasing her greatest magical triumphs and failures and relaxing moments of simply reading in the library. It was rare to see one of them alone. Soon the Loki and Nymera of the past had grown into young adults and were using more advanced magic such as teleportation and creating clones of themselves, which they used to try to trick each other._

_Nya noticed as time progressed that she and Loki had become quite close. Loki having started calling her ‘Nya’ or ‘Ny’ and she calling him ‘Lo’ or ‘Lok’. When she would become frustrated, he would come and rest his hands on her shoulders (even by this early point in time he was already towering over her), or grasp her hands in his, or put an arm around her shoulders and draw her into his side. These gestures would be accompanied by soothing words and terms of endearment that would calm her quicker than anything else could._

_She wasn’t a fool; she saw the looks on past Loki’s face and on her younger selfs face as well. There were even a couple moments when they would look like they were leaning toward each other for a kiss, but someone or something would interrupt, so they would settle for holding hands under the table while they read their books._ Ah young love, _she thought fondly. They stood there, watching their younger selves reading on a couch, hands clasped together on the back of the lounger, simply content to be in each others presence; everything was peaceful and Nya assumed they were reaching the end of this particular memory, when a severe yet kind looking young woman in training armor barged through the doors._

_“There you are! Nymera, you said you would meet me at the training grounds an hour ago!” She said with an exasperated tone as she approach the couple, who were quick to separate as soon as their calm, intimate bubble was shattered by this warrior woman. Nya gathered from her appearance that she was only a couple years older than Nymera and Loki so she assumed she was one of Thors friends if she was on a first name basis with the two sorcerers._

_“I am so sorry Sif! Time simply got away from me! Do you still have time now?”_

_“I do. I have no obligations until after dinner.” She pulled Nymera up off the couch and started dragging her to the door. “Come on then!”_

_Nymera managed to extricate her hand from Sif’s grasp. “I’m right behind you. I promise. I just want to put the book in my room.” Sif seemed to believe her and left the room with a nod and a look that said that she would come back and get her out of the library by force if she was not followed. Nymera waved her hand over her body and magicked on her training armor before turning and picking up the book she was reading. “Mind stashing this in my room, Lok?”_

_“Of course, darling.” He merely waved his hand and the book had vanished, Nymera knew it would be siting on her bedside table when she returned to her room. He smirked with pride at his use of magic and rose from the couch to take her hand. “Why must you meet Sif, love?”_

_“I told you Loki… I want to learn to fight. I know, I know that the noble ladies of Asgard receive a standard training but… I don’t want the standard training. You and Thor will be trained as brutally as the Einherjar, you’ll lead the warriors into battle for the good of the realm. I want the chance to do my part.”_

_“Nymera. I do not desire for you to put yourself in unnecessary danger simply because you feel you will be left behind should we need to lend aid to other realms-”_

_She tore her hand out of his grasp and took a couple steps back, a scandalized look on her face. “_ What?! _How_ dare _you insinuate that this desire to defend the crown and the realm comes from something as ridiculously idiotic as that!” She was furious. She began to stride toward the door in a huff but Loki appeared in front of her. She kept walking, passing easily through the Loki in front of her. “Next time, if you want me to stay behind and discuss things like_ rational _adults… TRY. HARDER.” They watched as Loki sighed and flopped back down on the couch. He rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in his hands, fingers buried in his raven locks. She could tell he was angry, frustrated, and a breath away from flying into a rage. He sat up suddenly, grabbed his book to begin reading again but threw it across the room after a minute. He strode quickly from the room and the couple rushed to follow him._

_They came to a sudden stop at a balcony off the hall down from the library. Loki had both hands on the rail, eyes transfixed on whatever was occurring below. The pair heard the clink of metal on metal and strode to the railing. Looking down, they saw what must have been the training grounds; they watched as Nymera and Sif were locked in battle. Nymera had some skill with a blade it would seem and looking to her right, she realized that the younger Loki realized it too. She saw as he resigned himself to acceptance of that side of his dear one. He was no warrior. He was a sorcerer. He was obliged to fight and train as a warrior of Asgard, but she was not. His only desire was to keep her from all the evils of the world and the soul-scarring that came with battle definitely counted; he would die before anything tainted her pure soul._

_They watched as Nymera and Sif walked back into the palace, and Loki dashed from the railing. They caught up to him just as Nymera was making her way down the hall to her room; Loki was leaning against the door, fidgeting with his sleeves. She stopped when she realized he was there and they awkwardly stared at each other, shifting from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry.” Loki broke the ice; even Nya could hear the sincerity in his tone._

_“You’ve always told me you trust me… I need you to trust me in this.” She approached him and placed one hand on his cheek and the other on his upper arm. “This is not some infatuation that will fade in a month or so, Lok. Sif and I have been training for nigh on six months now and she believes I will be as skilled as her soon enough.”_

_He put his hand on top of hers on his cheek and took a deep breath before he finally began to say the words he’d only said in his head. “Of course I trust you. NEVER think I do not. I trust you with my life Nymera. And if you do indeed become as skilled as Lady Sif, I will most likely be entrusting my life to you on the field of battle.” She smiled softly at his acceptance of the warrior side of her. “However, do not think I will not worry over you. Nya… you mean more to me than- than anyone else in the universe. Since the moment you snuck into our lives I’ve felt a deep connection between our souls and if some thing were to happ- *sigh* -if something were to happen to you, it would be a wound to me deeply. I have no issue with you pursuing this but I ask that you do not expect me to merely sit by without worrying over the well-being of someone I lo-… someone I care for deeply.” That was the closest he had ever come to telling her how he truly felt… she knew it too. Their cheeks turned pink and they separated while fussing and avoiding eye contact. Clearing his throat he turned and opened her bedroom door, gesturing her inside. “Now, bathe and dress my darling. Dinner will be served soon and you know how mother detests tardiness.”_

_They retreated to their separate rooms and Loki’s duplicate began to tug Nya toward the exit of the memory. No explanation. No clarifications. She tugged back on his hand and he turned to her with a shameful look on his face. Reaching up, she mirrored her younger self’s gesture and rested her palm on his cheek. He did as his counterpart did as well, and joined their hands on his face. “I was afraid. I avoided saying what I truly wished to tell you in that moment.” When she made a questioning face at him, he simply shook his head slightly and continued, “Come along darling… much more to see. And perhaps you will get the answer to that question sooner than you think.”_


	13. Chapter 13

_After entering the next memory, they were let out into another hallway in the palace but in a different area than the family wing or library. Hearing a loud ruckus, they ventured toward a set of large double doors. “Oh no…” Loki sighed; clearly this was a place he didn’t like going. They walked in and Nya took in the sight of the long table laden with all sorts of food and pitchers filled with drinks of some kind. Gathered around the table were Thor and Sif, each with a tankard of something probably alcoholic, and three other men: one who looked of Asian descent, one was blonde and dressed in fancier clothes than his companions, and one tall, large man with a big beard._

_Noting Loki’s obvious discomfort at being there, Nya shot him a questioning glance, asking him silently to explain where they were. “This is Thor’s… hmmm… common room? Is that what Midgardians call a space like this? Those are the Warriors Three - or as I prefer to call them - Thors’ idiot friends.” He went down the line telling her their names, “Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg.”_

_At this moment the blonde warrior, Fandral, gathered up another mug of ale and took off toward one corner of the room. “Come now, my dear Lady Nymera! Have a drink with me!” He approached a plush-looking sofa where Nymera was lounging on one end while Loki was occupying the other, each with a book in hand and a plate of fruit sitting between them on the cushions. “Surely my company would be more exciting and pleasurable than Loki’s or that of some old book!” She watched Nymera make eye contact with Loki, who merely looked annoyed at the sudden interruption and was glaring at Fandral, and dramatically rolled her eyes before placing a bookmark carefully between the pages and setting the book on her lap._

_“Fandral you are drunk. Clearly that must be the only excuse for why you believe I would prefer your company to that of a good tale or that of the Prince of Asgard.” He looked astounded at her response while his companions behind him were stifling their laughter. “I mean, have I ever taken pleasure in your company? I know you are not used to rejection but do try to send your attentions elsewhere.” She added with a sickeningly sweet smile in his direction before picking her book back up. At this point, those around the table were roaring with laughter as their friend retreated back to his spot with his tail between his legs at being shot down by the beautiful woman. Loki looked pleased that she defended their… friendship? Relationship?_

_Thor, however, had a devious glint in his eyes as he rose carefully from the table and nudged Sif to join him. They quickly but quietly moved toward the sofa and pounced on the two bookworms; Thor hoisted Loki over his shoulder while Sif dragged Nymera toward the table._

_“THOR! Let me down!” Loki screamed out as Nya watched as Nymera was struggling to extricate herself from Sif’s powerful grasp while Loki magicked a dagger and proceeded to stab Thor repeatedly in the back. The two warriors plopped them down in seats around the table._

_“Now brother,” Thor began, his hands clamped on Loki’s shoulders, keeping him in his seat “you and Nymera can surely spend a few minutes in camaraderie with us! We are all friends here! Surely there are other fun things to do than read. You must learn to vary your routines.” They both rolled their eyes at Thunderhead before grabbing a bit of food to munch on._

_As they sat, the Warriors Three and Thor gradually became drunker which made their escape more difficult because the drunker they became the more they tried to get Nymera and Loki drunk along with them (no one dared to do this to Sif lest they be beaten up for their efforts). Unfortunately, this also meant that the teasing and flirting got worse too. Volstagg and Thor had been busy teasing Loki and Nymera about their studious and hermit-like natures and were just starting on making insinuations regarding the true nature of their close relationship while Fandral was attempting more and more passes at Nymera, and she was quickly growing tired of the whole thing._

_“ENOUGH!” Nymera slapped her palms on the table as she stood up and glared at the drunk morons surrounding her. “Thor and Volstagg - shut the bloody hell up! Loki and I are friends! Stop attempting to embarrass us both - there is NOTHING for us to be embarrassed by! Perhaps if either of you friendships with women that went beyond a night of debauchery you would understand that fact! So knock. It. Off.” They managed to stay silent for a matter of seconds before laughing and continuing on causing Nya to huff in annoyance. “And FANDRAL!” She turned on him suddenly when she felt his hand gravitate to her hip. “Get away from me! I rejected you not two hours ago and have rejected your advances every time you’ve tried them so, PLEASE, take a damn hint!” She slapped his hand away and pulled Loki up by his arm. “Now. If you all would excuse us, we have better things to attend to than taking care of your drunk asses!” The thought of doing something to exact some kind of revenge floated through her mind and she discreetly waved her hand over the table, spelling the three men’s drinks and causing Nymera and Loki’s exit to be filled with very high pitched shrieks of indignation._

_Loki threw her a curious look but she just smirked and continued walking until they reached the hallway; once they were a safe distance from the common room, she stopped them and turned to face Loki. “Did you really just spell their mead to make their voices sound like the faked, high-pitched ones of all those feather-brained court ladies we detest?” He asked while laughing and memory of his bulky, strong big brother speaking with such an obnoxious tone of voice._

_“Well, they were annoying me! And I remember Thor’s pained face at the last court gathering when that one girl spoke to him in her ‘very sophisticated lady-like tone’” She said, making her own voice take on a similar tone, and joined him in the laughter before suddenly feeling a bit sheepish at her behavior. “I-I’m sorry.” she said without looking him in the eye._

_“For what darling? It was a funny prank, one I do dearly hope teaches them a lesson in messing with you.”_

_“Not that… For making light of our relationship… I mean… for simply saying we were friends.”_

_“Well… we are friends, right? I mean… I thought we were friends-”_

_“We ARE… I just meant- I mean… I_ thought _… we might be more…” She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. She had essentially told him that she had deeper feelings for him and couldn’t bear the thought that things would change for the worse. Before she knew what was happening, her back met the wall and his hand was on her chin, tilting her lips up so his could crash down on hers. Never before had she thought her first kiss would be this amazing. His lips were cool and softer than she ever would have imagined them to be._

_His hand moved so it was on the back of her neck, holding her lips to his and his other arm was wrapped around her, bringing her closer to him; her palms were resting on his chest as she savored this perfect moment. For his part, he was convinced he was dreaming but then she started moving her lips in sync with his. This was everything he had ever wanted - a chance with this amazing young woman, his best friend. When they finally needed to breathe, they leaned their heads back to stare into each others eyes, keeping their bodies close together. No words were exchanged, just contented smiles. They knew their relationship was going to change but they were both excited for how it would change now. They finally untangled their limbs and Loki slid his hand down her arm and laced their fingers together as he pulled her from the wall and began leading her down the hall._

_Nya watched the young couple walk away lighter than air and savored the wonderful feeling that she felt coursing through her; watching the memories she lost and feeling exactly what she felt in that moment so long ago._ And what beautifully perfect memories they are. _She looked over to Loki and saw him staring at her; he grabbed her hand in both of his, “Dearest… that moment was… everything to me…” She squeezed his hands and leaned forward to plant a sweet kiss on his cheek._

_“Come on, Trickster… show me what else I missed.”`_

_The next few memories they went through were wonderful too. Many took place in the gardens, Loki and Nymera snuggled together under the big tree where they met, reading or talking or practicing their magic. Nya felt such bliss watching these moments, having a best friend, their bond was amazing and had her heart breaking that she had been robbed these memories. One such memory had Loki showing her a hidden alcove behind a statue. He pulled her in behind him and before she could finish asking what he was doing, he crashed his lips down on hers while winding his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against his body. “Ah, so thats what you’re doing…” she had said with a smirk before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his mouth back to hers, tangling her fingers in his silky locks. This ended up being a spot they snuck off to many a time._

_Other memories included more magic lessons, family dinners, and training. She was getting more and more skilled with a blade and Loki was even teaching her how to incorporate her magic in her fighting and training her to use short swords like he did - she excelled at using these. Soon she was holding her own against a few of the Einherjar trainees who deigned to fight a woman who wasn’t Sif. Some of her favorite moments were those moments spent in either of their rooms, curled up in front of a fire, talking or reading or making out. One of these moments showed them sitting on cushions reading their books with Loki stealing glances at her; Nya smiled brightly at this one as she realized that it was in fact the full memory she caught a glimpse of on her flight back from New Asgard. They were wonderful memories and she was SO happy she was getting them back._

_Another memory, only this one was full of grandeur and fun. The couple materialized in the ballroom this time, right in the middle of a party in full swing. There were two long tables off to one side that were littered with trays of desserts interspersed with some leftover remnants of the extravagant feast that came before it. People milled around the table, decked out in their nicest gowns and tunics, the noblewomen’s necks, fingers, and ears adorned with shining gems of all colors. Dancing was taking place as well, the dance floor taking up a good three quarters of the room. She craned her neck as they walked around the outskirts of the room, looking for her younger self or one of the princes._

_Hearing a loud roar of laughter, she turned to a table in the corner where the princes and the Warriors Three were seated, filling their bellies with the sweet desserts and tankards of mead. She noted that four of the five men at the table were facing the table, engaged in conversation with each other, but the fifth was sitting with his body facing the dance floor and a nervous, nearly terrified expression plastered on his face. Loki sat there clutching his mug tightly in his hand but never raising it to his lips; his eyes were transfixed on a group of young women on the edge of the dance floor. Nya followed his sight line and finally found Nymera._

_She was wearing a white gown, thin, forest-green gossamer straps on her shoulders that continued down the back of her gown fading into a short train behind her, the gown had dark green patterns intricately sewn into the fabric. She wore no jewels save a silver chain around her neck that held a circular pendant crafted to marry two roughly hewn stones: one in a deep blue, the other in a deep green, the two colors meeting in the middle with jagged edges but a seam of silver piecing them together. Nya was transfixed by the necklace; it was absolutely stunning, and then it hit her… it was one of two items she had woken up with when she arrived in Ian’s flat. She had been wearing THAT necklace. But where had she left it before the accident? Brought back to the present, she noticed how Nymera fiddled with the pendant almost absentmindedly as she chatted with the others, her gaze occasionally straying to the corner and, no doubt, coming to rest on her prince, decked out in his finest ceremonial armor._

_Back at the table, Thor nudged Loki roughly, nearly knocking him off the bench. “Go to her.” He whispered as his friends were busy conversing amongst themselves. “She has not danced with anyone all night, brother. Ask for a dance. She would never deny you.”_

_“She would not want to fumble around on the dance floor with me, Thunderhead. Mind your own business.” He frowned into his mead in an attempt to get Thor to ignore him again. As much as he knew his brother was trying to help him, he didn’t want Thor involved in his business. The truth was he had been wanting to ask her all evening, but he couldn’t get words to form a sentence in his mind, so he had sat on that bench watching her and hoping his longing would spark some remark in his mind that would afford him the motivation to approach his dearest. Yes they had shared many kisses in the months since their first kiss, but there was still that piece of him that thought she would move on from him quickly, having seen he was nothing more than the dorky, bookish, younger brother of the strong, masculine, blonde heir to the throne._

_“She has been glancing this way all evening… We can ALL feel her eyes on our table. And I do believe I heard Mother saying to one of the maids earlier today, that Nymera had them swap the golden thread for the green in the design of her gown…” He smirked at his brother who shot Thor a pointed glare. Thor sighed and laid it out plainly for his brother who was so obviously hoping to remain in denial about their dear friends feelings. “Brother… she_ chose _your colors. She wore them for all the nobles of Asgard to see. She will say yes if you ask her. Now get you some liquid courage, Loki, and go get your lady.” He clapped him on the back and then returned his attention to his sweet cake and his friends. Loki, fueled by Thor’s speech, downed his entire mug of mead, and catapulted himself off the bench, striding quickly in the direction of the beautiful woman._

_Nymera heard a throat clearing from behind her; whirling around she was pleased to be met with the emerald colored stare of Prince Loki, extending a hand to her before meekly, nervously asking for a dance. She blushed as she took his hand, their stare never breaking, but their eyes widening at the electric current that coursed through them every time they touched - something, shockingly, they had yet to get used to despite the fact that they were always wrapped in each others arms at every free moment they could find._

_He led her in a dance and Nya noticed their exquisite dancing drew the attention of nearly everyone who was not already occupied by a dance partner, including Queen Frigga and King Odin; the royal couple stood on the edge of the dance floor, Odin’s arm wrapped around his wife’s waist, and they shared a knowing smile at their youngest child and the young woman who had easily worked her way into their hearts. Nya could see the happiness on both their faces but particularly on the Queens and it was clear to her that they both had hoped such a union would come to pass. They were met with applause at the end of the song, and Nymera blushed furiously while Loki covered his embarrassment by looking slightly annoyed with the attention while maintaining his careful court mask; sensing she was close to running and hiding, he tightened his grip on her hand and pulled her back into his embrace just as the next song began, engaging her in another dance._

_As they danced, he twirled them closer and closer to a door along the wall. Noting that no one was watching them, he spun them and cracked open the door, urging her through it and onto the wide balcony. He twirled her around and they broke out in an adorable set of giggles before they settled on a bench. He wound his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest; she nuzzled into him with a contented sigh, knowing there was nowhere else she desired to be than in his arms. “Why did you not claim me sooner this evening?”_

_“Would you believe my silver tongue failed me?”_

_“Now that is amazing. Hel must have indeed frozen tonight.” She chuckled in response. She pulled back to meet his eyes but was careful not to leave the circle of his arms. “I turned down four other men before you arrived, you know?”_

_“And why would an eligible young woman, and a wonderful dancer at that, turn down so many dances?”_

_“Perhaps she was saving her first for someone special…” She blushed when she realized the double entendre of her comment, but could not find herself ashamed of the implied meaning; surely her deep attraction to him was no secret._

_He moved his hands down her back and around to the sides of her waist, rubbing slow circles there. “If I had known you were waiting, I would have forced my tongue to comply or simply swept you into my arms without any words.”_

_Leaning down, he captured her lips with his in a soft kiss. She wound her arms up and around his neck as she felt his tongue on her bottom lip asking for entrance to her mouth, which she quickly gave. As the kiss deepened, small moans escaped both their throats and Nymera was gently pulled onto Loki’s lap, never breaking their sweet contact. When the need for air became to great to ignore they parted but simply rested their foreheads against each other, eyes closed, breathing hard, and savoring the moment._

_For a moment, Nymera thought she was dreaming, that was until she clearly heard something else - a whispered “I do love nothing as I love you” fell from his lips with a satisfied sigh. Her eyes flew open and she stared at him in shock. He said that he loved her, didn’t he? He noticed her fingers in his hair had stopped their movement, that combined with feeling her eyes on him caused his mind to catch up with his heart and he realized he had actually vocalized his thought; his eyes flew open to meet hers the next instant. “I-I… Nymera, I- I’m-”_

_He couldn’t even try to back out of the hole he had dug because she cut him off by crashing her lips down on his. “I love you too Loki, more than you know.” She whispered between deep, passionate kisses._

_“Oh there you are wrong sweetling.” He pulled back slightly to meet her eyes and caressed her cheek with his hand, offering her the sweetest smile she had ever seen that had her heart threatening to burst out of her chest. “I believe I know exactly… for your love is matched by the same love in my heart.” He leaned in, nuzzling his nose against hers._

_Their lips connected again, and the kiss deepened a second later; the confession of love between them igniting a passion neither had previously known. She moved off his lap for a second - the move being met by a perturbed groan from her love - hiked up her skirts and moved to straddle his lap reconnecting their lips once more. His hands slid up her back before moving tentatively down, reaching her hips and rubbing small circles there, adding a squeeze every so often, then slowly and lightly moving further until they rested on her round, full ass. She moaned into his mouth at the feeling and shifted, her movement applying some pressure on his crotch causing him to reciprocate her moan. Feeling him hard beneath her, she continued her slight grinding down on his lap, the tension building between them, being aided, for her, by his hands on her backside squeezing her and moving her on him._

_“Loki- I-I…Oh gods…want…”_

_“What my darling love? Tell me… anything and its yours…”_

_“You.” She pulled back to gaze into his eyes as she continued. “I want you, Loki, all of you. Take me to bed, my Prince.” She whispered the last in his ear in the most seductive voice he had ever heard in his life._

_Loki was not exactly a stranger to the more erotic side of life. There was truth to the rumors that Thor - along with the Warriors Three - liked to frequent the less reputable taverns in the city that specifically catered to someone seeking the company of a willing wench and Loki would accompany him and his friends on occasion, often having been strong-armed into going; however, he never partook in the pleasures to be bought there, preferring to simply drink and make sure no one got into trouble. His heart belonged to another and he would never do her the injustice of seeking out the presence of anyone less worthy._

_Other than those instances, Loki had to endure the insult (in his opinion) of lewd comments from daughters of court officials or noblemen, practically demanding a dance with him and whispering offers of a night of debauchery, hoping to weasel their way into a royal entanglement. He hated those instances. But this moment could not even begin to be compared with those circumstances. Here and now, with the woman of his dreams, the woman of his fantasies, writhing in his lap and asking for him to take her to his chambers and have his way with her… he was not repulsed but even more excited at the prospect of sharing this with her, the woman he hoped to the Norns to spend his forever with._

_Scooping her up with her hands wrapped tightly around his neck as she nibbled on his earlobe, one of his hands remained grabbing her ass and the other on her upper thigh, hoisting her leg around his waist. The next moment, she was being lowered down onto the fluffy down comforter on his bed. He initially desired to simply magic away their clothing - his need to finally be joined with her growing too great - but upon seeing her splayed out in his bed, her hair strewn out, her lips kiss-swollen, wearing his colors, chest heaving with desire for him… now, he wanted to draw this out, wanted to tease her, bring her pleasure over and over, hear her screaming his name repeatedly. So he lowered himself down on top of her, kissing her neck down to her ample cleavage, leaving wet, sucking kisses the whole way before easing the straps of her gown down to finally reveal her perfect breasts to his hungry eyes. She was thanking every deity she could imagine that she had managed to secret away some sexy undergarments - and specifically for this set, a corset that barely came up high enough to cover her nipples - and even then, only with sheer, fine lace - and a pair of lace panties, both in a beautiful emerald green color._

_She gasped and arched her back at the initial feeling of his mouth around her nipple, and soon she devolved into needy moans and had her hands fisted in his hair, holding him to her. He nipped and sucked at each breast in turn, not wanting to leave one craving attention, littering them with love bites. After a while spent there, and bringing her to orgasm simply with his mouth and fingers on her breasts (_ A fact definitely worth mentioning _, he thought with a sense of great pride), he raised himself off the bed and stripped his tunic from his body before grabbing her dress and easing it the rest of the way off her body._

_She couldn’t help the look of awe on her face as she took in his toned body - gods but she was a lucky woman. He stood back and looked at her in nothing but her scandalous lingerie and felt himself harden even further at the knowledge that she had dressed in his colors, wishing (he fervently hoped) for him to be the one to see her in it. “My, my… aren’t you a delectable little morsel…” He licked his lips and knelt between her legs, running his hands from the tops of her thighs, up her torso, to her breasts to give her nipples a quick pinch, and back down to rest on her hips. “I am pleased to see you did indeed like my gift.” He added with a nod at the pendent laying against her chest._

_“You believed I did not?” She knew he second-guessed himself all the time, but had always hoped he would never second-guess her actions or affections. “It has never left my neck, my darling love. It makes me feel as though you are constantly with me and as such I could never be parted from it - or you…” She took one of his hands in hers, pulling it up to leave a kiss on his knuckles. He was astounded by the tender gesture along with her words and felt his heart burst with love for the goddess beneath him. He met her lips in a fiery, passionate kiss and soon kissed, licked, and nipped his way back down her body until he reached the junction of her thighs. Kneeling on the floor before his bed, he pulled her to him by her thighs. Looking up to see what he was doing, she was met with a wicked grin from her prince before she felt his warm breath on her ridiculously wet center through the lace covering her core. He peeled her underwear off her with only his teeth and then dove in to finally taste her. The feeling of his tongue on her was nearly enough to make her fall again, and in fact, not two minutes later she was flooding his mouth with her cum. She was sweeter than he had ever expected and he desired more and more of her._

_He brought her to her peak twice more before he let her rest, moving her to the center of his large bed and laying down next to her, trailing his fingers up and down her arm as she caught her breath. As she came back to herself, she turned on her side to face Loki. Leaning in, they kissed again (something they both silently agreed they would never get tired of) and Loki jumped slightly when he felt her hand come into contact with his painfully hard cock; pulling back he gripped her wrist to halt her ministrations. “My love… as much as I would love to feel you stroke me, and no matter how many times I have envisioned you taking me in your mouth… I fear I will be done for if we explore those acts this evening.”_

_“You do not wish for me to reciprocate?” She had always heard that it was expected by the young men. She had heard the maids and noble ladies conversing many a time about their experiences with men and expected Loki to at least be similar to them. She should have known her love was nothing like the rest of his gender. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him at the adorable confused look on her face._

_“Nya… I have already fulfilled many of my fantasies tonight: kissing you, feeling your gorgeous curves beneath my fingertips, tasting you, watching you in the throes of your climax… but there is still one that outshines any other in my mind.” Her brow furrowed more at his eloquent words, even as a blush filled her cheeks at his detailed acknowledgement that he had fantasized about her. He leaned in and nibbled at her earlobe, pulling a moan from her throat, before whispering his desire to her. “I want to feel my cock deep inside you, my beautiful Nymera… feel you tight and hot and wet, pulsing around me as I make love to you. As I fuck into your wet cunt and claim you as mine and mine alone. I want nothing more than to be joined to you in the most intimate way.” His voice trailed off and he began sucking marks onto her neck as she moaned long and loud at the seductive words he said._

_“Take me Loki… now! Please! I want you!” He grabbed her thigh and hiked her leg over his hip as he rolled her onto her back. “I had hoped it would be you.” She whimpered out as she felt his cock nudge her wetness._

_Even the Prince of Asgard heard the gossip from the maids and guards; he had heard rumors about Nya’s chastity. The things they had said had made his blood boil. The thought of anyone else taking her virginity, anyone else kissing her lips, feeling her skin beneath their lips, finding ecstasy inside her… he couldn’t bear it. He knew she was a virtuous woman who would not suffer the attentions of the imbecilic young men of the court, but his jealousy and self doubt gave him pause whenever he heard a snippet of palace gossip regarding Nymera. “You mean…?”_

_She nodded. “I waited. I don’t care what the maids may have said or what rumors others may have spread… there has been no one. There was only ever you for me… Now stake your claim, My Prince.” She took his hand and drew it down to her center, coating both their fingers in her own juices. “Make me yours.” He couldn’t wait any longer and slowly eased his cock inside her, both of them moaning at the feeling of finally being joined like this._

_He heard her small whimpers of pain and he pushed past the evidence of her purity and held himself still inside her, calming himself down and giving her the chance to adjust to his size, kissing her all the while and whispering words of love mixed with the darkest desires of his mind. When she began canting her hips into his, he began sliding in and out slowly, gaining speed as she urged him on with her heel pressing on his ass. Soon he was pounding into her, biting at her breasts as he did so. She was not idle, scratching her nails down his back, no doubt leaving marks that would still be there in the morning. “Looookkkkiii! Oh gods! Loki I’m going to cum!”_

_“Cum for me! Now! Love of my life! Oh gods! Yes darling! Fuck!” Her orgasm crashed into her like a tidal wave, Nymera screaming out his name, and he followed a moment later. They lay in his bed for a long while, dizzy and drunk on the post-coital haze, fingers trailing along each others backs as they remained cocooned in a mess of limbs with Loki still nestled inside her._

_She leaned over and placed a soft, lingering kiss directly over his heart before raising her head to meet his gaze. “Mine.” She said softly, her voice full of love._

_He leaned over and nuzzled his nose with hers. “Mine.” He returned._

_“Always.”_

_“Always.”_

_The retreat out of the memory was quick - indeed it seemed she was in Loki’s chambers, reveling in the glow of their love, and the next she was back in the golden hall of her mind. She felt Loki’s heated gaze on her, but was horribly unprepared for a conversation on_ that _memory and she knew she needed to press on… something this intimate meant there were much more significant moments shared between them down the road. So she walked to the next glowing orb and reached out behind her, bidding him to grab her hand in response, and she pulled them into a new-old moment in her life._


	14. Chapter 14

_Letting out in yet another hallway, they heard the familiar clang of swords and eventually were let out onto the Einherjar training grounds. They stood to the sidelines along the palace wall as they took in the view. They were training in pairs or slightly larger groups and fighting each other full out. At the center, however, Nya and Loki noticed two separate battles being waged; it appeared as though two large groups of the Einherjar were fighting two individuals. They decided to venture closer and eventually saw that at the center of the frays were none other than the Ladies Sif and Nymera. Both women were decked out in full armor and fighting all out against the men attacking them, and each woman was holding her own against ten or so soldiers._

_“The Einherjar are Odin’s most elite force of soldiers. They are charged with protecting the royal family and are sent on the most brutal of missions for the crown. To go up against one of their rank in battle would be a death sentence… unless of course you are Sif or one of the Warriors Three… or unless it’s you as you can clearly see.” She looked at her companion to see him beaming with pride at her. As she watched herself fighting these men using solely her fighting ability, she couldn’t help but feel as he did - it was a feat not many could say they would survive._

_They watched as three of the men advanced on her from behind, she delivered a kick to the one she was fighting in front of her before sheathing her large, wide blade in a sheath on her back and quickly pulled two short swords (which, in reality, were two very big daggers) from their places on the back of her hips and spun to immediately engage the three advancing on her. She quickly had them each on the asses and sheathed all her weapons before walking over to the sidelines to get some water and to join the princes and the Warriors. They all had their jaws on the floor - all except the raven-haired trickster, who’s face simply shone with his pride and amazement at his darlings’ abilities._

_“You’ll all catch flies if you are not careful.” She taunted them. When they continued their stares, she shook her head and smacked them each on the backs of their heads. “You’ve watched Sif fight, you know it was she who trained me, so stop acting amazed a woman is capable of these things.” Finally they shook themselves out of their daze and after congratulations from all, they turned to watch Sif continue her bout - it was clear to Nya she was drawing it out for her own amusement._

_“Will you try your lot at tomorrows tournament, Lady Nymera?” Hogun asked._

_“It would be my honor to participate… and more so, it is my intention.” She said the last with a smirk at the skilled warrior who returned her look. “It has been my dream to join the ranks of the most skilled warriors in Asgard.”_

_“We all already consider you a part of our ranks, my lady, no matter what the trials determine.” Volstagg said putting a large hand on her shoulder in a friendly gesture.The other Warriors and Thor nodded and voiced their agreement and encouragement to her as well._

_“I know you would proudly accept the help I would freely give, but it would mean more than anyone knows to have the Allfather acknowledge my skill and capability for himself.”_

_“You do not mean that you intend to fight tomorrow do you?!” An appalled Loki interjected._

_“Of course I do! How else do you expect me to achieve that goal?” She said as she grabbed her things and bid them all goodbye and made her way back to the palace. Once she was safely inside the walls and out of sight and earshot of the others, she felt a hand gripping her upper arm as she was yanked backward and spun to face her assailant._

_“You WILL NOT be participating in the trials tomorrow! It’s out of the question! You could get seriously injured, Nymera!”_

_She roughly shrugged out of his grasp and crossed her arms in anger. “You DARE tell me what I can and cannot do?! I am a noble woman of Asgard and can decide my own fate, Odinson!”_

_“The Allfather would never allow his charge to participate!”_

_“My son is right.” They both turned in shock to see Odin himself striding toward them, an amused look in his eye. “Unfortunately, my dear, I cannot allow your entry into the trials. I have been entrusted with your care and would not risk your well-being with the danger inherent to the ranks of the Einherjar.”_

_“Allfather, please! I have been training for this moment! I am finally of age… please, just let me show my skill. I promise-”_

_“Enough, Nymera!” She shrank back at his raised voice and felt the disappointment and anger boiling in the pit of her stomach. “I have spoken my piece and you will abide by your king’s words. Am I understood?” She clenched her jaw, hands in fists at her side, and gave him a curt nod. “My son, your mother requires you in the healing wing.” He went on his way, expecting Loki to follow, without a glance back at his ward. Loki reached for her hand and squeezed it gently, giving her a sorry smile, before following his father._

_Nymera leaned her back against the nearest wall and willed the angry, disappointed tears to stay in their places. How dare they say she was not capable! How dare he coddle her like this?! He allowed Sif into battle - granted, she is the goddess of war… but still! She knew she was capable… if he would only give her a chance she could prove it!_

_“Do you still wish to risk your well-being by entering the trials?”_

_“I’m under no impression that you were NOT eavesdropping… so you know your father has forbade me from it.” She told the blonde prince who was now leaning against the wall next to her._

_“What if I could help you enter without his knowing?”_

_“And I thought your brother was the trickster, Thor?” They chuckled and shared a smirk. “How would you propose we do that?”_

_“Fairly easily actually.”_

_“Then my answer is unequivocally yes.” Her face lit up with a mix of joy and mischiefthat nearly stopped his heart. He had a suspicion that she and Loki were more than friends and if his brother was careful and didn’t screw it up, she could be his sister one day; he adored the girl and viewed her as a sister since the early days of her residing in the palace, but to have her as a sister through a bond of marriage would simply add a layer of meaning to the bonds between the three of them. “But… Thor, what of Loki? He is not above using his magic to keep me from the harm he anticipates in this event.”_

_“We will discuss and come up with a plan. Now,” He shoved off the wall and offered her his arm. “Shall we, my lady?”_

_The onlookers were transported to a balcony in the palace next (bit shocking really… not to mention dizzying); hearing lots of cheering, they walked out onto the balcony which was filled with the royal family - as well as the Warriors and Lady Sif, and some of the nobles of the court - and overlooked a large arena where two men were battling it out for all the spectators. The bout ended and Odin passed his judgement on the skills of the two warriors - one deemed unworthy of the rank of Einherjar and would return to the ranks of the Asgardian infantry and the other being deemed worthy of consideration of service. They saw Thor shifting in his seat and Loki looking slightly worried. “Mother, did Nymera say when she would join us?” The worried prince asked._

_“No darling she did not. I believe she was feeling under the weather and was going to stay in her chambers.”_

_Loki leaned over closer to her and whispered, “I sent an illusion to check in on her and bid her to join us but her chambers were empty, mother. I am worried.”_

_“My child, she probably is watching from below. Relax and enjoy the trials.” She caressed his cheek as she turned back to the events. A man walked to the center of the arena and was cheered by the crowd; he was a very noble warrior, had served the crown well for years as one of the Einherjar, and was probably the most formidable opponent of the entire event. When his competitor took their place next to him, facing the balcony, Nya couldn’t help but feel like something weird was about to happen; the opponent was wearing a closed in helmet made of scratched and dented metal (not the thing of nobles) that covered the entirety of their face and the standard battle armor. Both fighters knelt facing their king and queen and placed their fist on their chests as was tradition before taking a fighting stance and crossing their broadswords._

_The sparring that went on was the most invigorating, astounding, and terrifying of the entire event. Eventually the Einherjar warrior retched his opponents sword from their grasp and flung it away from them. In the next instant he dealt an upward blow to the others head that sent his helmet flying from his head. The crowd let out a collective “Ooooo…” in sympathetic pain with the newcomer, but the next instant was gasping in shock for a different reason. Loki, Frigga, and Odin were on their feet in an instant while Thor looked on with a smug smile on his face. Below them, the battle raged on but now, the opponent’s long, dark-brown hair was freely flowing down_ HER _back as she magicked a pair of short swords and engaged her opponent again._

_Loki spun around and hoisted Thor up against the wall by his neck. “WHAT DID YOU DO?! I KNOW THIS WAS YOU!” Fury rolling off of him in waves. Thor, for his part, looked smug and not in the least bit worried about Loki choking him._

_“LOKI! Release your brother this instant!” His mother’s scolding had its desired effect and caused the prince to drop his brother and return to the edge of the balcony. He watched as Nymera fought against the warrior that easily had seventy-five pounds of muscle on her. She was gaining ground and was unflinching in her assault. He delivered a sudden sweep of his legs and knocked her down, but before he could land a blow she was creating an illusion of herself in her spot as she rolled backwards and onto her feet. As he swiped through the illusion, his balance was thrown off and she delivered a hard blow to his back with the butt of her dagger. Once he hit the ground and rolled over onto his back, she straddled his torso and held her short swords crossed against his throat. “I YIELD!” he yelled and released his grip on his own weapon._

_The crowd that had grown mostly silent over the final few moments of the suspenseful bout roared to life with cheers of victory for the noble woman of Asgard. She reached her hand out to help her opponent up and he bowed his head over her hand in respect once he had risen. She gulped and turned toward the balcony, prepared for the wrath of Odin at her defiance of his orders. He silence the crowd with his raised hand before addressing the young woman. “A valiant fight, Lady Nymera. Unexpected, but entertaining… as well as extremely skilled. It would be a testament to the strength of Asgard to have such a soldier among the ranks of the Einherjar.” She allowed the hope that lay dormant in her chest to bloom at his praise. She could sense it wasn’t all simply pandering to his people who seemed enamored by the noblewoman wanting to fight for the crown, she could sense genuine shock and pride in his tone too. “However, I must think over my decision before passing my ruling on your admission to their ranks. Today’s events presented us all with the most skilled warriors in our realm, my fellow Asgardians. Congratulations to all of those successful and my sincere hope to all those who did not ascend the ranks, that you will continue to lend your sword to your King and realm with the same fervor you showed today.”_

_Odin turned and left the balcony, sending word with a servant to tell Nymera that he would send word when his decision had been made and the seats in the arena emptied quickly as the spectators left to their homes. She, however, stayed rooted to the spot on the arena grounds staring down at her dusty boots and trying to get a grip on her raging emotions. The hope that had bloomed at her victory sputtered out and died in her chest. She heaved a great sigh and looked up to where her king had stood. Now, however, her gaze locked on her young prince, standing at the balcony with a look of shock, awe, frustration, and anger on his face. Her confidence faltered and she feared she had just struck their relationship dead with this act of defiance. She bent down to retrieve her sword and helmet before striding dejectedly inside where she was met by Loki. “I’m not in any mood for a scolding so, please, withhold it until tomorrow.” He walked to her and pulled her things from her hands before placing them on a bench to the side of the hallway. He turned back to her and pulled her to him with his hands on her waist._

_“That was the most incredible display of stupidity, valor, and skill that I have EVER seen.” He crashed his lips down on hers after he had gotten the sentence out and moved them until her back hit the wall and continued his assault on her mouth as his hands began to wander her body._

_She was incredibly surprised that his reaction thus far to her disobedience was lust of all things and before things got too out of hand, she pushed him back by his shoulders and stared into his emerald eyes. “You are not angry with me? I have not ruined… this? Us?” The sorrow and worry in her eyes broke his heart and he leaned back in to capture her lips in a slower, more sensual kiss._

_“Oh darling… I am very upset at your deception…” He dropped his head to her neck and began leaving slow, wet kisses along its length. “… I was so worried when you didn’t show…” His hands began unfastening her armor and letting it drop to the floor around their feet. “… And when your helmet flew off and I saw your face… the face of the woman I love and desire to protect… when I saw YOU… I wanted to leap from the balcony and drive my blade through his chest…” She could feel his body shaking as he restrained his anger and fear at what he saw during the bout. His hands ducked under her tunic and began traveling north up her torso and under her undergarments until they were met with her full, delectable breasts. “But then you began kicking his ass and showed all our people what a noble woman of Asgard can do…” He raised his head so his eyes met her lust-clouded blue orbs. “And in that moment all I wanted to do was bow down at your feet and worship you as the goddess you are.” He took her hand and drew it down over his trousers, his erection hardening even more at her touch and showing her exactly what that show of her strength, determination, and ferocity did to him… and what it made him want to do to her._

_“Oh gods… Loki….” She dug her other hand into his hair and brought his lips back to hers, palming his hard on all the while._

_“I am angry with you Nymera… but more than that, I am in awe of you you… I adore you… I simply want to please you and show you how extraordinary I find you. Will you let me?” He asked as his lips found that spot below her ear that turned her into a puddle of need._

_“Yours or mine?” She moaned out as she clung to him for support, her knees going weak from his assault on her neck._

_Nya and Loki watched as their younger counterparts vanished from their sight, both knowing that they had teleported to one of their rooms and would most likely not emerge for the remainder of the day and night. She was almost afraid to ask but simply_ had _to know, “What was Odin’s ruling? Did he allow me to fight with the warriors of Asgard?”_

_“No. He decided the Einherjar was not the place for a noblewoman of Asgard.” He saw as her lips turned downward and sadness filled her eyes. “But… he permitted you to service under the command of Lady Sif and Thor. You were always with them and myself anyway… so why not allow you to fight alongside them? You were pleased when he explained that it was indeed an honor and he was not simply coddling you.”_

_She wasn’t sure if she truly believed him. “It WAS an honor?”_

_He wrapped her in his arms at the disbelief in her voice. “Yes. Yes, my dearest. To fight alongside them was to be labeled the strongest fighters in Asgard. It was a title of honor and carried the equivalent weight of a royal title with it.” His hands stroked up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her. He hated when her heart filled with sadness, it was as though his heart was breaking as well. “We defended the king himself, went on our own missions, and had free reign of the realm. It was most DEFINITELY an honor, sweetling.”_

_She raised her head from his chest and met his piercing, loving gaze. All she could do was nod at his encouraging words and leaned up to place a sweet, love-filled kiss to his soft lips by way of thanks. The contented sigh that left both their throats prompted smiles to bloom on their lips. They separated and Loki slipped his arm around her back and led her out of the memory._

_They breezed their way through more memories, her mind being filled with both the wonderful and horrible aspects of her life on Asgard. She saw her and Loki’s first fight. It was rather tame - a mere difference of opinions on a certain plot line choice in a certain book she was reading that he, of course, had read many, many times before; however, with both of them being rather hot-headed and wanting to be right all the time, the slight disagreement turned into a shouting match in the library that had the maids scurrying away. They had more of these sorts of arguments, but their first knock-down-drag-out row was horrific!_

_It had been the night of another ball, Nymera’s official coming out ball to be exact; as Odin’s ward, it was expected that she be presented to the court and be acknowledged in the official rank of ‘noblewoman of Asgard’. Even though she had a rank with the warriors, even acknowledged as a highly skilled sorcerer by the sorcerers council, and was already acknowledged by the royal court as a noblewoman, it was tradition and the King was the first to promote tradition._

_Frigga had insisted she have a gown specially made for the occasion and while she continually suggested the green, black, and gold fabrics, Frigga convinced her to wear a deep navy accented in silver since the blue was similar to her magic. She understood the Queen’s reasoning and was, indeed, hard pressed to ever deny Frigga anything - the woman was practically a mother to her, after all. The dress would be strike one._

_At the family dinner the night prior, Odin announced Thor would be escorting her up to the throne for her acknowledgment and then escorting her to the feast and subsequent ball. She had thought she would make the procession on her own as it was generally the parents of the young woman who presented her before the King and Queen. She had looked wide-eyed at Loki, only to be met with a prince that was trembling at the effort he was exerting to keep from yelling at his father and demanding he escort her. There wasn’t much he could say though, they weren’t an official couple and hadn’t even broached the subject of their courting with his parents; besides, Odin had a point - Thor was the heir to the throne of Asgard and the eldest of his children, so it made sense that he would be the one to escort her. She understood and gave her agreement. This was strike number two._

_Strike three was accrued the night of the ball; she was in her room, wrapped in a forest green robe that she had stolen from a certain someone and smelled distinctly of winter and mint (her favorite scent: Loki), sitting at her vanity, picking out the jewelry she would wear which was proving to be quite the task as she only ever wore one piece. She was engrossed in her task so the hands that suddenly grasped her shoulders caused her to jump. “Loki! You startled me! Why are you here, I have to get ready and the maids will be in any moment to help me dress.”_

_“I will be gone before they arrive, never fear. I merely wanted to give you something, my darling.” He conjured a box from his dimensional pocket and handed it to her. “Congratulations on your big night my love.” She opened it to find a stunning cuff. It was silver, and the intricate detail depicted a beautiful woman knelt down interacting with a snake who had green stones in its eyes - clearly meant to depict the two of them; there were green, gold, blue, and white gems placed around the cuff as well - both of their colors. She understood the meaning immediately and threw her arms around his neck in an instant, kissing him breathless. “I figured it would most likely go well with your gown-” He had turned to acknowledge her gown, only to realize she would NOT be wearing his colors that evening. His anger built in him again at being cast aside by his love. Schooling his face he turned back to her with an icy glare, “Nevermind… It seems you will not be wearing my colors this evening.”_

_“It will still compliment it beautifully, my love. Thank you.” She attempted to kiss him again, only to have him pull away from her, fixing her with that icy look. “Loki - your mother thought it best for me to dress in a color more attached to ME personally… she said since my magic manifests in blue that it would be appropriate. I didn’t mean anything by it. Its just a gown. You know I am still completely yours.” She stepped toward him and made to caress his cheek but he caught her wrist in his very strong grasp. Giving her a glare that had her blood freezing in her veins, he vanished in front of her without another word. Once she had overcome the shock of the moment, she looked down to her wrist to see a bruise already forming. Tears welled in her eyes, he had hurt her in more ways than just this one. At that moment, the maids knocked on her door; she dried her eyes quickly, reigning in her emotions, slapped the cuff on her wrist to cover the bruise and told them to enter. This was_ his _first strike._

_At the feast, she was constantly engaged in conversation by some young nobleman or other (tedious, the lot of them), and hoped against hope to have a white knight (or in her case a raven-haired prince) come to her rescue. But no… he just sat at the table in the corner, brooding, drinking, and glaring at whoever approached his girl. This was his next strike._

_She danced every dance that evening with men who were NOT her love, men who thought it appropriate to make comments on, not only her dress, but how her body looked in said dress and they were quite explicit and detailed in their ‘praise’. She kept giving Loki desperate looks and attempting to speak to him telepathically, begging him to come save her, but his mind was locked up tight against her prodding. This was strike three and she was furious; finally, Thor noticed her desperation and rescued her, asking for a dance and whisking her around the floor, sneakily spinning her around until they spun through the balcony door, which he closed behind them._

_In his mind, this was her final strike - she had chosen his brothers company over his. He stormed through the balcony doors and caught her in Thors embrace; he shouted and called her a harlot, claiming her affection for him was a farce to gain Thors attention, not taking any notice of the tears that had already painted her face or the fact that they had grown tenfold since his rant started._

_This was it… she walked toward him, hands balled at her side, and slapped him across the face. In his shock, he assumed that was it (she was a noblewoman after all) and, therefore, did not anticipate the strong right hook she delivered the next moment. He crumpled to the floor and held his nose which was dripping blood. “Thor. Your bother has clearly had too much to drink. Kindly let him sleep in your chambers tonight and explain his idiotic behavior to him in the morning.” Not even waiting to see the nod of agreement from Thor, she spun on her heel and stalked back into the ballroom to rejoin the party in her honor._

_They spent the following week not speaking. Anytime they were around each other, he was met with an icy glare and she was met with a look of absolute shame, apology, and longing. The next week was spent trying to talk out their problems. They would come to each others room, full of determination, they’d cast a silencing spell over the room and then, inevitably, the arguing would commence. Each argument would at some point devolve into hungry, angry kisses and touches and then eventually progress to angry sex. They loved it and hated it, as they loved and hated each other at the moment._

_At the end of that week, they were all talked out as they lay naked and panting in her bed, sweaty from their angry exertions. He looked over at her and finally said the words she deserved and needed to hear. “I’m an ass. And I’m sorry.” She turned her head to meet his watery eyes, noting the sincerity in them. “I do not deserve your love. But I crave it, I need it. To be parted from you would be to tear my soul in two. And to lose your affection would strike me dead.” By this point they were both silently crying, realizing they needed each others love more than they needed to be right._

_“I forgive you. But never again assume that I would intentionally hurt you. Seeing you hurting, especially because of me, tears at my heart. And if you_ ever _accuse me of choosing your oaf of a brother over you, I will send you to Hel myself.” They agreed to communicate better and after they sealed their promise with a kiss, they found themselves in the throes of passion once again, and the angry sex morphed into make-up sex._

_After that, they saw more special moments as well: stolen kisses between the book stacks in the library, in the garden, on balconies, in town, at the market, during training. And saw even more steamy moments pass between them; it seemed the couple couldn’t keep their hands off the other and they seemed to have made it their mission to consummate their love in as many places around the palace as possible. From what Nya has seen, they had been fairly successful._

_Throughout this fast-forward through their relationship, Nya and Loki found themselves stealing glances at the other, and each time they did they found the other blushing at the moments being shared. Nya found herself hoping that this relationship from their past could be explored when they returned to reality… but she would have to wait and see. And as he grasped her hand tightly in his to lead her into the hall of memory yet again, she felt in her soul that he desired the same thing._


	15. Chapter 15

_“Where in Odin’s name are we this time?” Loki gave a genuine smile at her exclamation - it was little things like this that proved to him that she was genuinely remembering who she was, and that gave him hope. Nya marveled at the golden sphere in front of them. It was huge! There was an opening right in front of them and Nya could make out the raised area in the middle of the room where a large dark-skinned man in armor stood with the largest broadsword she had ever seen in his hands. Then she looked down… THE FLOOR! The walkway they stood on was a rainbow! She heard snickering coming from her right and looked to see her Loki trying desperately to contain his laughter at her reactions. “Oh shut up.” She smacked his arm and walked toward the building._

_Once inside she saw her companion’s past self pacing the length of the room, a look of worry mixed with anger on his face. “They should be back by now! Where are they? Why have they not called for the Bifrost to be opened?!” He continued to speak to no one in particular. Suddenly Loki turned to the man with the sword, a desperate look on his face. “Tell me where she is Gatekeeper! Is she safe!? I MUST know now!”_

_“Your highness…” he began, a tone of practiced patience in his voice - clearly he was a practiced hand at handling impatient royals. “I have told you they were met by dissidents on their return journey. They have been locked in a skirmish with the usurpers and your brother had deemed it unsafe to call the Bifrost. But she is holding her own. You would be proud to see her now, my prince.” The last comment caused a smile to appear on the young prince’s face briefly before he returned to his pacing._

_“I should be by her side! Thor deliberately did not tell me they were going to Vanaheim. He was angry with me and whisked her away on a mission he knew she would not refuse and DID. NOT. TELL. ME.” He paused as Heimdall moved the sword and inserted it into the lock to open the Bifrost. A few seconds later, they started arriving. Fandral and Hogun came through first with Volstagg supported between them, a large cut on his leg. “Grab on to me, quickly!” Loki said hurriedly rushing over to the trio, teleporting them directly in front of the doors to the healing wing; the cut was bad and looked deep so he knew they would need to arrive quicker than if they went walking the rainbow bridge._

_He immediately teleported back to the Bifrost just as Sif was coming through. “Where are they?”_

_“I teleported them directly to the healing wing. That cut appeared to be deep.”_

_“Thank you.” The genuine appreciation on her face quickly morphed to worry. “Loki…”_

_“Where is Nymera?… and Thor.” He added at second thought, not wanting it to seem as though he favored her. Although why he was worried was beyond him; he loved her so thoroughly that he was surprised more people hadn’t caught on._

_“Calm yourself. She’s… fine…” He took a menacing step in her direction at her hesitation. “We_ were _fine. We had dispatched the usurpers and Thor was about to call to Heimdall when…”_

_“When what?!” He was crazed at this point. Why wasn’t Nya back?!_

_“One of them had hidden from us, behind a rock or something, I do not know exactly. He leapt out and made to plunge his dagger in Thor’s head, but Ny pushed him out of the way.”_

_“She-Is..is she…” He couldn’t even bring himself to say the words, tears already welling up in his eyes._

_“No, but she was stabbed a few times. When he realized his blade did not connect with the prince, his rage overtook him and he wailed on her. Thor is bringing her through now but he sent me to calm you. She is worried about you enough without this.”_

_“Me?! Why would she be worried about me?”_

_“She assumed Thor told you. But when she discovered that he had commandeered her without telling you, she flew in to a rage. She is worried you would try to harm each other upon his return.” She gave him a look, knowing this was in fact his initial intention. “So calm yourself, Loki. She needs you calm.” She turned back to the bifrost, waiting for the remainder of their group to reappear._

_“You know.” Was all he said. He knew she would understand._

_“Well neither of you hide it well. Besides… do you think me as thick skulled as your brother?” They both chuckled. She was the only one of Thors friends who he did not consider an idiot. “I haven’t told anyone. I wouldn’t betray either of you like that. But you should consider telling your parents. If you think your mother does not know or at least suspect, then you are a fool.”_

_At this moment, Thor stumbled through with Nymera supported in his arms, blood dripping from her body. Loki hurried over to them and pulled her into his arms, immediately teleporting them into the healing wing. He placed her on a bed and stumbled into a chair, trying to keep himself from shouting directions at the healers (not that he was able to… but he tried at least). He’d never seen her like this, it was the reason he didn’t want her fighting alongside the warriors. Soon, his mother whirled into the room, having been informed of Nymera’s need for healing, and took control of everyone, barking orders at them all. Her ward was laying in a hospital bed and she would be damned if she didn’t exhaust all possibilities of healing the young woman she considered a daughter. After a long while, the healers began patching her entrance wounds and Loki felt a strong, small hand hauling him out of his chair and pulling him out of the healing wing; his eyes, however, never left the angel laying unconscious in the bed, twisting in his mothers grip to keep her in his eyesight before the doors to the private room closed._

_“She was poisoned. The dagger was laced with something. But it is out of her system now. Thank the Norns you were at the Bifrost when you were, my son, her time was running short.”_

_“It was supposed to be Thor in that bed.” Frigga’s head whipped up to stare intently at her youngest. “The attacker made to kill Thor, b-but Nya pu-pushed him out of the way.” His eyes were still fixed on the doors of the healing wing. Frigga had never seen him as distraught as he was in that moment. And in that moment, she knew her suspicions were correct. Her maids had whispered rumors to her many times over the last few years, of what they had seen in the nooks and crannies of the palace, the stolen moments between the two younglings; she had seen the looks of longing between them, and more often than not, seen them with their hands clasped together as they walked along the halls. It warmed her heart to see her youngest as happy as he is, she had hoped all those years ago in her garden when she had seen the two young children together, that this relationship would come to be. She hadn’t wanted to spook either of them, so she had kept her thoughts to herself, but in this moment she made a decision once and for all. Teleporting them to her private sitting room, she summoned tea and some cake and ushered Loki onto the plush sofa._

_“She will heal well my darling. Your beloved is a fighter, in more ways than one.”_

_He answered without even thinking about his words. “I know. She-” She thought it comical the way his eyes widened before they flew to meet hers and his face turning beet red._

_“Honestly my child, do you think that your mother wouldn’t be privy to servants gossip? And you do not exactly hide the obvious attraction between the two of you. So… tell me about it…”_

_Loki found himself opening up about his relationship with Nymera as he had always longed to. Deep down he always felt bad keeping this part of his life from his mother. He told her everything, every step on the road of their love (leaving out the salacious details, though he was sure she had heard rumors of the two of them sneaking out of the others room in the predawn hours). She was smiling a megawatt smile at him by the end of his tale, her heart threatening to burst with joy for her youngest. “You’ve finally found someone to match you my dear. She is a wonderful choice.”_

_“I know mother. Its been a few years that we’ve been in this relationship, and with each day that passes I grow more and more certain that she is the one I desire to spend all my days with. She brings me such joy, and calm, and she challenges me… She’s so headstrong - which is a word you have used many a time to describe me. Being with her makes me feel… whole, complete. Like I can take on the entire universe as long as she is by my side.”_

_Frigga looked at him thoughtfully, then rose and went over to her vanity. Pulling something out of a small ornate box, she returned to her spot next to her son. “If that is how you truly feel… then I wish for you to be prepared when you decide to take certain steps.” She held out her hand and laying in her palm was a beautiful ring, the band and facets were a white gold that seemed to glow in its perfection. Sitting atop the band was a gem unlike any he had ever seen. It appeared like an emerald at one moment but at the next was a deep blue color. Surrounding the gem were very small opals and diamonds, giving the large, colored stone an etherial glow._

_Loki tore his eyes from the ring in his mothers hand to her other hand, seeing an identical ring sitting on one of her fingers. Offering her a questioning glance, he reached for the ring on her finger, only to have Frigga pull it back, an amused expression on her face. “You’ve always worn this ring, I assumed it was a gift from Father.”_

_“No no darling. This was my mother’s engagement ring given to her on Vanaheim by my father. He worked with the local jeweler for months to design a ring that, in his opinion, was worthy of her. The gem is a rarity in the universe but hails from Jotunheim. The tales say, it was an emerald but when touched by a Jotunn, it turned blue, but the green of the emerald was strong and fought to be seen. The fight between colors had raged for millennium and that is why the colors can be seen to change.”_

_“Interesting legend…” Not quite believing her but finding himself thoroughly amused by her tale. “but mother… how is it that it is on your hand and also being given to me?” He knew it was an illusion but she had worn the ring his whole life… surely it wasn’t an illusion all the time?_

_“I have not worn this ring since Nymera came to live with us. I had hoped for this union for all these years and put this in a safe place so as to be able to give it to you for your future bride. Your father knows of the illusion, but does not know of my longstanding hopes - though I am sure he suspects and may even agree with my hopes.” He was absolutely scarlet by now; he was used to hearing praise from his mother but never in so many words. Knowing she approved of who he had given his heart to was the ultimate approval. He had thought many many times of proposing to her over the years they had spent together, but had always chickened out, saying it was too soon and they were too young. And he definitely backed out whenever he realized his mother did not know his intentions._

_“Thank you. It means… SO much mother.” He took the ring in his hand and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek before leaving her rooms. He wandered the palace, thinking over the conversation he had with Frigga._ It’s time, _he thought. He quickly devised a plan in his mind and made a stop at his quarters to begin forming his plan before heading to the healing wing to check on his Love. She was awake and nearly ready to leave so he stayed to escort her to dinner. She was thankful that his relief outweighed his frustration at her having gone to Vanaheim in the first place and, therefore, she avoided the scolding she assumed she was in for._

_The following day, she was perfectly fine; she healed as quickly as he did and with the poison out of her system, she healed quickly and with no complications. That evening before dinner, she received a note from Loki asking her to skip the banquet and meet him in their garden (which was really just his mothers private garden, under the tree where they met). She dressed in a sage green gown and hurried down to the garden when the gong sounded for the banquet._

_She wandered to the tree and gasped at the gorgeous set up at the base of the trunk. There was a golden blanket laying on the ground and plates with fruit, bread, meat, and pastries spread around, a bottle of Asgardian wine and two crystal goblets… but what really took her by surprise was the clusters of candles what were spread around the blanket and the tall gorgeous man that was stood to the side with a deep purple and green flower in his hand. “Reverting back to old tactics?” She asked with a smirk and she took the flower and raised it to her nose._

_“Ah… that’s right… I DID use these flowers to win you over.” His smirk rivaled hers as he tipped her chin up so he could brush his lips over hers. “You look ravishing my love.” She was locked in his adoring gaze and could feel her heart absolutely bursting with love for him. Eventually they sat down and ate their dinner, swapping stories of their day and conversing easily. Once they had finished their heavenly chocolate cake, and Loki had vanished the dishes to the kitchens, he rose and offered her his hand. “Fancy a walk in the moonlight, sweetling?” How could she resist him when he was in full romance mode. They strolled through the garden reminiscing about their childhood; they finally came to stop in front of the beautiful pond in the middle of the garden. Their conversation had turned to thoughts and reminiscing about her early days in the palace and the day they met when he said, “I thought you were stunning the first time I saw you, you know?”_

_“Oh please! We were children, Lok!” She giggled at him. Truth was, she found him cute that first day as well. They were so young, but definitely old enough for the equivalent of a schoolyard crush._

_“Oh that’s not the craziest thing…” He dropped her hand, turned to her and cupped her face in his hands. “I think I fell in love with you the moment I locked on your stunning blue eyes.” She leaned in and kissed him - the kiss was full of quiet passion and all the love they felt for one another. Their foreheads restedtogether as they caught their breath. “Open your eyes, dearheart.”_

_When she did, she saw the whole area was filled with little floating white balls of light. It was stunning! She gasped and twirled around, touching them and pushing them all over. An adorable chuckle bubbled up from her and she twirled around and around. “Lo! Oh gods… this is gorgeous-” She had turned back around to see him and was astonished at what she saw. Loki, the love of her life, the man who owned her heart and soul, was there, surrounded by glowing lights, in front of her on one knee, the most intense look of love on his face. “Wha-”_

_“Hush, darling,” He held out a hand to her and pulled her closer to him when she took it. “I meant what I said… I’ve loved you from that moment when we met, here, in this garden. Every moment we’ve spent together since has merely made us stronger. You are incredible, Nymera. You are a strong warrior who has proven time and time again her ability and determination to protect those she loves. You are a fastidious friend who would draw blood in defense of her friends. You are an astoundingly talented sorceress, the likes of which is only challenged by my mother.” She had to agree with him on that count - no one rivaled Frigga. His smile turned a bit mischievous now. “And darling… you are a phenomenal lover… both physically and on much deeper levels… you really are the most wonderful, perfect woman. Why someone like you ever wasted a moment on me, I will never know. But I thank the Norns that you did find some redeeming quality in me, for I know not what I would do anymore without you by my side… and I beg every deity out there that I never have to find out.” He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. “Nymera… my dearest friend, my beauty, my love, my life… Will you do me the greatest honor, and consent to being my wife?” He held up a ring… Frigga’s ring; she had admired it on her hand many a time. Her eyes finally raised to meet the emerald green ones she got lost in time and time again._

_She kneeled down in front of him and closed her hand around his outstretched palm, not breaking eye contact. “You are worthy of love Loki. Never doubt that. You are a good man.” She leaned in and kissed him, only breaking the kiss when they both desperately needed air._

_“As much as I appreciate the reassurance, my love, it is not exactly an answer to my question.”_

_“And here I thought my answer was obvious…” She held up her left hand to show him the ring, sitting proudly on her finger. Her smirk told him that she had magicked it there sometime in the last couple minutes. “But incase you need MORE reassurance of my deep devotion and unending love for you, my Prince… yes…YES! Of course I will marry you!” He jumped to his feet with her in his arms and twirled around with her in the floating lights, joy filled laughter spilling from their lips in between heated kisses. “Mmmm, Loki…”_

_“Yes my darling?”_

_“Did you plan a celebration of our engagement…?”_

_“Darling I was worried you would say no…”_

_She smacked his chest and looked at him very seriously. “I. Love. You. I have for years… I have been devoted to you alone for years. Stop this doubt my darling. Now… As for a celebration… I have a few ideas of my own…” She leaned in and nibbled on his ear, raising her hand to teleport them to her chambers with a simple flick of her wrist._

_As Loki and Nymera disappeared in front of them… the entire scene faded away before Nya’s eyes and she found herself facing her Loki in the golden memory hall. She was staring open mouthed at him as she processed the new memory. She had remembered her love for Loki, but ENGAGED! It was a huge development! “So…” She honestly didn’t know what to say to him. She felt the love she had for him; it felt current, like it was just locked away and now that she saw herself falling in love with him those feeling came flooding back to her, even more intense than before and she felt that hole in her heart fill. He was looking away from her, afraid she would fly into a rage, accusing him of planting false memories in her mind. Instead, he was caught off guard by her pulling him down to meet her lips. When they finally broke apart, she sighed and looked at him, tears forming in her eyes, “I’ve missed you.”_

_His smile could have rivaled the sun. Hearing her finally say that she missed him, acknowledge that she remembered him, that they had a past, it was everything he could have ever hoped for. “Not as much as I’ve missed you my love.” He gave her one more swift kiss before twining his fingers with hers. “Now… there’s one memory I am very interested to see…” He led her to another memory orb at the very end of the hall… this one giving off an ominous feeling to Nya. “It’s time to figure out what could have possibly happened to lead to this whole mess.”_

_She half expected them to show up in a battle or at a sentencing before the throne - she did not expect to show up in the banquet hall, watching herself, the Warriors, Thor, Loki, and Sif eating dinner, drinking, joking and all-in-all having a blast. It appeared her companion was just as confused as her at the beginning of this memory._

_Loki and Nymera were sitting shoulder to shoulder and from the angle she stood at she could see that they were holding hands under the table. She didn’t see the engagement ring on her hand and didn’t see an illusion, but sensed that Nymera would have it on her person somewhere. Thor and Volstagg were telling a story (trying to one up the other at every turn of the tale) when a messenger arrived at the table, bowing to the princes and handing a parchment to Nymera and Sif. They opened their letters and put them down with a collective sigh. All eyes were on the two women who had just simply gone back to their food like nothing had happened. “Well…” Fandral asked._

_“What?” They said together._

_“Come now ladies… what did the letters say? Do not leave us in suspense!” Volstagg said while slamming down his tankard of mead._

_“It was nothing exciting, I assure you Volstagg.” Sif said with an eye roll. “It was simply my patrol assignment for the evening._

_“You as well, darling?” Loki asked Nymera._

_“Unfortunately. I was looking forward to practicing some of those spells your mother told us about but it looks like it will have to keep for tomorrow.” He squeezed her hand. Yes, they had planned to practice their magic, but neither were under the assumption that that is all they would get up to. Since the engagement nearly two months ago, they hadn’t spent an evening apart, falling asleep wrapped in each others arms, completely sated and blissful. He understood her duties to the realm, and was thrilled that he didn’t have to sacrifice his time with her to those duties every night._

_“It will be alright, love. We can practice tomorrow. Where will you be patrolling this evening, ladies?”_

_“I am patrolling the palace perimeter it seems.” Sif said._

_“Lower halls for me.” Nymera added. They finished their food and the girls rose to head to their duties. When they rose, Nya changed both of their clothes into their armor and they bid the men goodnight._

_“May it be an uneventful night for you both. Should you have need of us, simply shout.” Thor stated as he too rose to leave._

_The evenings patrol was uneventful for both women. Nymera was leaning against the wall across from a window, just surveying the stars. That is when she heard it. It sounded like a voice… just speaking nonsense, she couldn’t even make out the exact words, but she followed it. It led her down the halls, past the dungeons, and right to the doors to Odin’s vault. She glanced up and down the halls, making sure no one would see and then slipped through the doors. The voice got louder when she was inside, and now she could make out more than one voice, as well as what sounded like… her name? Was it really calling to her? She walked through the vault, stopping before each of relic to see if one of them were responsible for the voice. She finally came to a stop before the final relic… the Casket of Winters. The blue glowing cube seemed to be… active. She stood in front of it, hearing the whispered voice again, and was drawn in… walking slowly toward it as though in a trance… extending her hand to touch it…then… she wasn’t in Asgard anymore._

_She whirled around surveying the barren wasteland of ice and snow. In the distance she heard a crying, it sounded like a baby. She wandered over that direction and was shocked to see none other than the Allfather there, leaning over a small scrag of rock. When she got closer, she saw him looking at a small blue infant who had been crying, but the Allfather’s hushed words seemed to calm him, and Odin reached out to pick up the child; Nymera reached out to stop him from touching the Jotunn child who could freeze him at that touch, but her hand passed right through him. Odd… He picked up the infant with no harm coming to him, and the child’s skin changed from a Jotunn coloring to that of an Aesir with a shock of raven colored hair and shockingly green eyes._

_The scene before her changed, suddenly she was back in Asgard and in Frigga’s sitting room. Odin walked through the door, telling Frigga a brief summary of the battle on Jotunheim before unwrapping the bundle in his arms. Frigga gasped and immediately gathered the child in her arms, cooing and rocking him back and forth._

_“Where did he come from My Darling? Where are his family?”_

_“He is the son of Laufey.”_

_Her eyes went wide in fear and shock. “You placed a glamour on him?! Odin why is he here? What retribution will his father bring on Asgard to return him home?!”_

_“He will not come for the boy, my love.” He sighed and stroked the boys hair as he snoozed peacefully in the Queen’s arms. “He was abandoned in the frozen plains of Jotunheim by his own blood. He’s a runt, Frigga, I only glamoured his skin and eyes not his size. They left him to die there! I could not leave him! He is but a babe!”_

_“Shhh… my love, calm yourself. You’ll wake him.” She walked the child to her couch and placed him down gently before returning to her husband. “You did well bringing him here. But what shall we do?”_

_“What do you wish to do, My Queen?”_

_She thought for a long moment, watching the sleeping infant fondly. Odin saw in her eyes when she had made up her mind. “We shall raise him. You saved him, you brought him here, surely you were thinking the same thing.”_

_“Indeed I was… it would secure a peace with Jotunheim in the event of Laufey’s death…”_

_“Odin no! Asgardian parents have told their children of the horrors of the Frost Giants. The other children would shun him, ridicule him, or actually harm him. No. He will be raised Aesir. We well raise him as a Prince of Asgard.”_

_“Fine. We will not tell him of his heritage.”_

_Suddenly second guessing her previous though she questioned, “Well… is that really wise? Keeping that from him? He deserves to know where he comes from.”_

_“He comes from us. That will be final. You make a good point, my beloved.”_

_“Odin-”_

_“What shall you call him?”_

_She started thinking of what to call him and Odin breathed a sigh of relief that she ceased pushing that point. Yes the child deserved to know, but Odin feared the ridicule of his people, and if he intended to raise the boy to strategically take the Jotunn throne and aid Asgard in the end, the people needed to like him. “Loki… I will call him Loki.”_

_She was back in the Vault suddenly, gasping for air after the shock of the experience. All she could do was stare at the casket, completely unable to process everything she just saw._

_“What did you see, child?”_

_Whirling around, she saw the Allfather, he appeared to be waiting for her vision to end simply sitting on the top step. “How?”_

_“The Casket of Winters can only be used by one of Jotunn parentage. It is well known. However, there is a race of beings so powerful, they can utilize the casket - among other relics. But they also have the ability to draw memories out from them.”_

_“What-”_

_“Valarians are some of the most powerful beings in the universe. You do not know much of your heritage - I must apologize for this. We did not intentionally keep it from you, though we failed you in this regard.”_

_“But you_ are _keeping his heritage from him. He has no idea, does he?”_

_“No.”_

_“He has to be told! How dare you not tell him?!”_

_“That is my decision to make! Do you know how the realm would react?!”_

_“He is your son! If you do not tell him, I will! I swear it!” She had walked up the stairs and was nearly in his face at this point._

_Suddenly, a third person was in the great room. She appeared out of thin air, standing right next to Nymera. “I cannot let you take my son from me.”_

_Nymera whipped her head toward the new voice, shocked to see her surrogate mother standing there looking heartbroken but full of resolve. The next thing she knew, Frigga had her whole hand gripping the side of Nymera’s head. Loki and Nya watched in shock as the young woman’s eyes rolled back in her head and her body went limp, falling back and being caught at the last moment by Odin._

_“What have you done?” Equally shocked by his wife’s actions._

_“She would have told him Odin. He would have left us! I will not lose him! He is MY son! I do not care what color his skin is or where he was born! He is my Loki! MINE! I raised him, I watched over him, I taught him, nurtured him, loved him. I never abandoned him!” She was beside herself at this point, realizing the weight of her own actions._

_“What did you do to her?”_

_“She is sleeping. I could never hurt her. She’s practically our child too.” She looked down at Nymera with sorrowful regret filling her eyes._

_“Erase her memory of this night. Then she will not know of Loki’s parentage.”_

_“No. The casket has called to her. Her powers are growing. It will merely call to her again and it would hurt her to continue wiping her memory.”_

_“What are you going to do? We cannot ignore the attachment she and Loki have formed. She cannot merely disappear my darling. I wager he would destroy every realm to get her back.”_

_“I know… but that simply makes this all the more difficult and heartbreaking.” She looked up from the young woman’s face and met her husbands intense gaze. “I will lock their memories so deep in their minds that they will have no hope of regaining them… at least for now.”_

_“Frigga…” He looked aghast. The Allfather actually looked horrified. “Can it really be done? I do not doubt your power, my love, but this amount of exertion…”_

_“I can do it. I MUST do it. It’s our only hope. We shall send her away… somewhere where she will be safe but will not be hunted down because of her power. It would be a shame to have that stifled completely.”_

_“Midgard. I have heard tell that they have had individuals of extraordinary abilities come into the limelight recently… perhaps she is best served there.” He gathered the girl in his arms and nodded at his wife, who teleported them to the Bifrost gate. He laid her down in front of the dias and they both crouched over her._

_“Stay safe my darling Nymera… I send with you all my blessing for a prosperous life. If the Norns see fit, let you and your deepest love be reunited in the years to come and let your love beat stronger than that of legend.” With her blessing said, Frigga brushed a strand of hair from her face and placed a kiss on her forehead before standing and joining Heimdall._

_“You may be right in your desire to tell Loki the truth, little one. But I believe now is not the time. I send you with my promise that the Gate Keeper will listen for you and watch over you. You have been my charge for most of your life, and I will aid you in times of difficulty no matter where you are. I ask the Norns to return you to us - if that is at all possible in this situation. You have and will continue to serve Asgard well, dear child.” He too kissed her forehead and then joined his wife, nodding to Heimdall who opened the Bifrost, the trio watching the young warrior be whisked through the rainbow portal, hurtling toward Midgard._

_Loki and Nya stood there in shock, watching as Frigga sobbed into Odin’s shoulder and Heimdall removed the sword from the mechanism. Nya turned to Loki who was somewhere between heartbroken and furious. She grabbed his hand and dragged him through the light that had begun to glow in place of the Bifrost. Once back in the hall, she pulled him into a tight hug and stroked his hair as he began to cry into her hair. “I am so sorry my love.”_

_“They would rather have torn you from me than tell me about the monster within. She was that ashamed of me?!”_

_“Did you not just watch the same thing I did?” She held his face in her hands and shook her head with a chuckle. “She didn’t want to lose YOU. Her SON. Those were her words. You were hers Loki. She loved you more than anything. And Odin did too in his own way. He was even wary of tearing us apart. Forgive them… You have me now. Can we not let sleeping dogs lie?”_

_“Perhaps now is that time… They may both be gone but perhaps I need to let them go… With this whole fiasco… I may have begun harboring resentment again… even against her.”_

_“I know. But what else could be expected. It was a betrayal, no matter how she justified it. The wounds of betrayal cut deeper than most. I understand that in part.” They had begun to walk toward the entrance of her mind, having left the previously locked portion and were now in her Midgardian memories._

_Nearly there, Loki stumbled upon something that intrigued him, or rather he heard something… he heard her, a moan, a sigh, something.… But her memories with him were behind them… then he heard another voice… a man. He wandered over to it, Nya close behind him. “Loki. Leave it. Please.” Now was not the time to broach the topic of her Midgardian sexual history._

_“The others… they spoke of your closeness with_ him _. The Captain…”_

_“Leave it, please.” She was tugging at his hand. He whipped his head toward hers, realizing she was essentially confirming the past he suspected she had with him. “What good will it do you?!” Try as she might, he was still stronger and cast her off before entering the memory._

_He was in an apartment, Nya sitting on the couch and Steve sitting on the opposite end, massaging her feet. They were watching a movie and just relaxing when he noticed Steve’s hand caressing her leg, moving higher and higher up. He heard her moan his name… and thought he would be sick. The Captain was on her in an instant, tearing her shirt off and kissing down to her breasts. By the time the Captain’s pants were on the floor, and she was moaning his name, he decided he couldn’t bear another second. He retreated from the memory as fast as he could, coming face-to-face with Nya._

_“Didn’t I say you would regret it.” The look on her face was full of pain… but also with a hint of smugness. He shouldn’t have gone poking through the rest of her memories… especially those involving Steve. While he was indulging his curiosity, she took the time to think about the two men in her life now that she actually remembered one of them. Her love for Steve… it paled in comparison to her love for Loki; she knew for a fact that there would never be another love for her like Loki. He was furious… but then she had expected it, but there was no competition._

_“You and HIM?”_

_“It was not serious. I loved him, yes, but never in the way I loved you. The way I still lo-… c-can we get out of my head? Everything is all a jumble now… I need to get out of here and-and think.” She couldn’t say it… she couldn’t tell him she loved him. Her rational side kicked in and was making her overthink everything that had happened. It was too soon… she had_ just _gotten her memories back. Hell! She was hiding out in Russia less than a week ago and now she was this whole other person! She needed space. Quiet._

_She was always like this when she had a lot going on in her head. Loki knew it but his fury and jealousy was blinding him at the moment as he allowed the irrational thought to invade his mind that she would leave him forever now… that she was going to reject him even though she remembered him now. “As you wish.” He said coldly._

They both opened their eyes, back in her room at the compound. He knew he had no right to be angry at her - hell, he had had his share of women in Asgard and more recently in Sakaar, but he had to know, had to be sure that he still had her heart and if he was at risk of losing it he needed to convince her otherwise; it had been years since they had seen each other, he had to know he still had a chance. No matter the threat they faced now on Midgard, his top priority was getting his love back.

“I want to know-” He began, but was cut off by Nya practically jumping off the sofa.

“Later.” Was all she said as she magicked on a pair of skinny jeans, boots, t-shirt, and jacket. Grabbing her pack off her bed, she teleported herself out of the room leaving a shocked and hurt Loki sitting on her sofa. He came back to his senses and bolted from the room, teleporting into the common room causing everyone to jump.

“Where is she?!” He asked frantically.

“Who? Nya?” Clint pulled up surveillance info on one of the tablets laying around. “No readings throughout the whole compound… shit!”

“What?”

“One of the Quinjets is gone.”

“Where would she go Barton?!” He grabbed Clint by his shirt and practically yelled in his face, his anger barely controlled.

“I. Don't. Know. Reindeer Games.” Of course the use of Stark’s nickname for Loki struck a nerve and Loki snarled at him in response.

“I think I do.” All eyes turned to face the soldier as he strode into the room, shrugging on his tactical jacket and asking F.R.I.D.A.Y. to have a Quinjet ready for him. “No, Loki, you shouldn’t come… yet.” Cutting off the angry god before he could even interject. “If she is where I’m betting she is, they won’t be so keen on letting you in. Besides… I get the impression she needs some time alone if she ditched you and left without telling any of us either. I’ll call you to come when its time, I swear to you.”

“Be sure you do, Soldier.”

With a nod at the barely controlled god, he went to the jet and set his course for the one place he found solace after breaking free from HYDRA and regaining _his_ memories, and if he was right, it was the same place she would find clarity after getting hers back too.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! 250 Hits! I never expected that this many people would be interested in this story! Thank you all for continuing to read "The Lost Realm". I hope you're all enjoying it! 
> 
> Here we go... on to the next chapter!

The journey was fairly long - after all… going from Upstate New York to Africa is quite the distance, even when traveling by Quinjet. The journey there afforded Bucky the opportunity to think over his approach. He didn’t really know the young agent but he found that he understood her. She had had her earliest years locked away in her head and on top of that, nearly a decade ripped from her while she slept. He understood waking up in a different time; his time as a HYDRA asset had been shaky… in and out of waking and memories as sporadic as that. Thanks to Shuri, he had those memories pieced together correctly in his mind (not that that was a good thing - the memories were horrific). He assumed whatever Loki did to her pieced her past together but obviously she was overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of missing moments; he supposed he hoped to be able to be a shoulder for her, kind of like how Steve was after Ian died… _but not the exact same way!_ He wasn’t naive enough to think that his oldest friend kept things platonic with the obviously sexy woman, on top of that, they were compatible on professional and intellectual levels as well, something he knew would have appealed to the good guy from Brooklyn.

He wished he had seen them together. All he knew were the fleeting moments between him and Peggy and how she had stolen his heart in practically a minute, only to have him taken from them both in the name of heroic stupidity. It warmed Bucky’s heart to know his friend had found solace and some form of love and connection with someone like Nya. In his last days he had told Buck everything about her, obviously hoping he would meet her and find her as enchanting as he did; to his surprise, he _did_ find her absolutely enchanting, but he didn’t want her the same way Steve obviously did. He had friends within the Avengers but he never felt the same connection he had with Steve (or anything even close to it), he thought she could be the friend he hoped for.

As he crossed the invisible barrier on the outskirts of Wakanda, he was no closer to a plan. He was always welcome in the advanced city, having fought alongside the people against Thanos had earned him a standing welcome whenever he needed solace; in fact, T’Challa had even taken steps to make sure his hut and goats were kept up incase he returned. He brought the jet down on the landing pad and exited the craft. “Sergeant Barnes, what a surprise.” A smile bloomed on his normally somber face when he heard the sarcastic tone of the young woman in front of him.

“Princess! I hope I am still welcome…”

“Of course you are Bucky! You will never not be welcome here. It is your home too.” Before he could even react, she flung her arms around him. She viewed the man from Brooklyn as a second brother to her; they had gotten very close during the long procedures she performed on his mind. He was a broken man but he simply needed someone to listen and help when he needed it - and she was more than willing to be that person.

“Is she here, Shuri?”

The princess simply nodded. “She arrived yesterday, late. But when she did not show up for breakfast, I went to check on her and she was not in her room. I do not know where she is.”

“I think I know…”

“You really think she is that similar to you?”

“For some reason I do, yeah. I’ll catch ya later kid.” He gave her one last hug and set off. He started in the direction of Warrior falls having a hunch that is where he would find her. He found solace in the tranquility of the falls; they represented the strength of the Black Panther and had much history for the Wakandaan people. Even though it was a place that was made up of memories of battle and sometimes even death, for some odd reason he found respite from the weight of his actions in this place. Not to mention the view was unlike any you would find anywhere else. She was a warrior, an agent, a fighter - perhaps she would feel as he did in this spot.

__________________________________________________________________________

She had arrived in the night, tired, emotionally drained, and hungry. Shuri and T’Challa had met her jet and ushered her in to the dining room for a filling meal. She had then retreated to the room she previously occupied and passed out nearly immediately. When she woke, however, she couldn’t bring herself to rise from her bed and join her hosts for breakfast. Her mind was swimming with thoughts of what had happened with Loki. She couldn’t get the hurt look out of her mind from when she had stormed out. She knew he was battling his anger concerning her relationship with Steve, but he really didn’t have a leg to stand on.

She wasn’t ashamed of what they had done and what they had, but she did understand his hurt… The woman who had pledged her lifelong fidelity to him had taken another lover. But neither of them remembered their relationship… and surely he had had other women warm his bed - he was a prince of Asgard after all and many a noblewoman would have jumped at the chance for a night spent in the throes of passion with the dark prince. _No! Don’t think of that, Nya!_ She knew he hadn’t been celibate… but it would destroy her if she thought about it.

Instead of rising and preparing for breakfast, she snuck out of the palace and headed off into the hills. She thought of where she would like most to go when she remembered something from her previous time spent there in Wakanda. Turning around and slipping quietly back into her room, she pried apart one of the panels on the wall and found the hiding place that had been there last time. She found the same worn composition notebook hiding there, just as she remembered. Returning to her prior walk, she leafed through the cluttered pages until she found an entry toward the back:

“ _I found a new spot on my usual walk today. Taking a right instead of a left at the fork in the path behind home led me to a cliff. I wandered down what looked like stairs carved in the stone and it let me out in lagoon-type area, only etched into the side of the cliff. It looked like a baseball stadium, honestly. But at the edge of the shallow pool there was a raised rock that I sat on. The view was unlike anything in Brooklyn. God, I can see the look on Steve’s face now imagining how he would draw what he saw. It was gorgeous._

 _I asked Shuri about the falls at our session and she told me they were the Warrior Falls, where the new king would ask for any who deemed him unworthy of the mantle of the ‘Black Panther’ to challenge him to the death for the throne. It had a violent history. So much pain, fighting, and some death. But shockingly it was the most peaceful place in the universe to me. I felt like I could think clearly as I sat there. I think I will go back tomorrow. It seems like a good place to get my head right._ ”

Reading it now, she was pretty sure who had occupied her room before she had awoken and taken it over. The former Winter Soldier had been healed by Shuri as well. He had needed to get his head straight and had gone there… so why not try?

She found the uninhabited hut by the river, the goat pen still full of animals that _someone_ was still caring for, and continued behind it to find the path he must have taken on his walks as well. Eventually she found the fork in the path, found the cliff, found the steps, and was let out at the falls. She couldn’t even think straight. It was the most gorgeous view she had ever seen. The sun was still rising, not high enough in the sky yet that the pinks of the sunrise had fully faded. _He was right… there is nothing like this view - well, nothing here on Earth at least_. Sitting on what must have been the same rock Bucky had mentioned she finally opened up her mind, allowing all the thoughts and memories to flood back in.

 _Who am I now?_ This was the question that had hit her immediately upon ending the mind connection with Loki and it was the same question that had been circulating round and round in her head ever since.

She was the daughter of the King and Queen of the tenth realm, Valar - wherever that was. She was not human. Not even slightly. She was raised by the King and Queen of Asgard. The protectors of all the realms. _Oh my god…_ Was this really happening. Maybe it was all a joke? Or a dream? Or…Or nothing. She _knew_ it was all true. She could _feel_ it. She was filled with a sense of finality: _this_ is what she had been searching her whole Midgardian life for… _these_ were her answers, and she was surprised that she did not doubt them in the slightest.

She couldn’t really put into words how it felt to watch her memories from the sidelines. She felt like she was watching a movie. But she could feel exactly how she felt in those moments centuries ago. That was the super weird part. But above that, she felt the sense of nostalgia and deja vu as she was watching. She knew it was something she had lived through before. She was mad. Mad that Frigga had done this to her. But, oddly enough, she understood… she couldn’t have predicted what might have happened if she had made good on her threat to Odin and revealed Loki’s true parentage to him. If New Mexico was indeed a byproduct of him finding out his parentage, then she didn’t know what would have been different. Maybe having her there for the fallout would have led him on a different path? There was no way to tell now.

She knew in her heart that she had been his anchor, his safe place, just as he was for her. With her torn from him, she sensed he hadn’t found a replacement. Maybe this is why things happened the way they did. Frigga and Odin hadn’t truly known the depth of their love and how intense their connection was. How could they? They had restrained their love to the shadows, so to speak. No. No one could have predicted this outcome.

Her head was spinning after thinking through all this stuff and she was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t hear anyone approaching her. “No view like it in the world, huh?” She quickly got to her feet and magicked a dagger in her hand. “Easy doll… just came to say hey.”

“Barnes?”

“Don’t know how you found this place but I figured if you were stealing a quintet to run away somewhere that you would come here.”

“Gut feeling huh?”

“Yep. Something weirdly peaceful about this place.”

“Yea, I just read about it in a book.” She chuckled and tossed the notebook to Bucky who caught it easily, staring at the cover with a shocked expression. “Figured it was worth a try.”

“I thought I had found them all… Where was it?”

“Behind one of the wall panels in my room… well, your room too I guess.”

“Shuri helped me get my memories back so I technically don’t need these books anymore… but its like a security blanket to me, I guess. So, thanks.”

“It kinda helped me too.” When she saw his confused expression she explained it better. “When I woke up from my coma… Not only was I still without my memories from my childhood but I also missed ten years of life on Earth! I missed you coming back, missed SHIELD falling, missed Sokovia and the Accords, missed the war between Tony and Steve. Missed Thanos, the decimation, the return, missed Steve leaving… Tony and Nat-“ She choked a sob back in her throat, the onslaught of emotions overwhelming her. “It was like waking up in Ian’s flat again and realizing I couldn’t remember anything. Reading your notebook made me feel like I wasn’t some freak or whatever… Anyway, I hid out in Russia hoping to track down every bit of information I had missed or that was just important over the last decade, wanting to catch up and find answers - like you did.”

“Then you were brought to New York and Steve died. And you were thrown into the midst of a new battle.”

“Yea… then I got my greatest wish and got my memories back. I thought I would be happy, completely satisfied, overjoyed… but now I feel…” She shrugged and turned her gaze back to the vista off the cliffs.

“Lost. Conflicted. Scared.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Ha… yea I guess I am in part. I more so had to deal with the guilt…” He sat next to her, his mood taking a darker turn.

“At least now theres someone who can understand in part.” They stood there, silently, staring ahead, each just absorbed in their own thoughts. After some time had passed and the sun was high up in the sky she turned to him and asked the question she should have asked right off the bat. “Why are you here?”

“To see you… make sure you’re ok.”

“Yes I get that… but why are _you_ here?”

“Would you rather he come rushing here?”

“No… He doesn’t respond well in these situations and he’s hurting too. God this is a mess…”

“Why did you leave?”

She let out a humorless laugh, turning to face him again. “We gotta be anywhere right now?”

“No, why?”

“It’s a long story…” So she told him about most of her life. She knew he knew about her and Steve so that was one chunk she didn’t have to detail - thankfully.

“So he’s mad about you and Steve? But you didn’t even know who he was!”

“I know… and I’m not stupid enough to think he was celibate. I can understand his anger… but I also know he doesn’t have a leg to stand on and he has no right to be mad.”

“But you love him.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement of fact. Bucky could read it on her face and sense it in her tone.

Nya let out a heavy sigh, glad someone had finally said the words. “Yea… I really do. I hate seeing him hurting. But when he’s angry with me, oh gods… our go-to reaction is to argue. Just flat out fight. Epically. But I don’t want that. _No one_ wants that!”

“Talk to him. Thats all you can do right now. I'll call him and he’ll come here, he’s been waiting for my call.” He looked to her for her answer and when she nodded slightly, albeit with a worried expression on her face, and he pulled out his phone and called Loki.

She felt bad for the others staying at the compound; an anxious Loki was a petulant and impulsive Loki and she feared for the sanity of everyone else in the meantime. “We’ll see him tomorrow.” She nodded absentmindedly again. “Come on, doll. Its lunchtime and I’m starving! Besides, if your metabolism is anything like an Asgardians, you’ve gotta be hungry.” He pulled her up and they started their walk back to the palace, talking about old missions she’d gone on and he told her about his brief time as a Howling Commando, but her mind kept drifting back to Loki… and how badly she wanted everything to be right again.

__________________________________________________________________________

He had been going crazy! Reliving every single detail of the final moments of their mind-link. He shouldn’t have gone into her Midgardian memories; she had warned him but he was too headstrong to heed her words. He had realized shortly after she had left that he really didn’t have a right to an argument about her choice of companion during her banishment, after all, neither of them knew about the other during that time. He supposed it was the _person_ she had chosen to lay with that irked him - the do-gooder captain always did rub him the wrong way. He had been with a few noblewomen in his time as a prince but none of them really felt… right. He felt as though they were all merely empty distractions, something to pass the time and sate a primal need while he searched for the seemingly mystical being that would bring him the other half of his soul along with a love as great as his parents. The older he got the more he began to believe he was not worthy of that type of love.

Little had he known at the time that he had _had_ that kind of love! And now that she realized it as well, what had he done? He’d gone and fucked it up! _Gods you’re an absolute ass!_ He’d been berating himself about it over and over since Bucky had left. _Bucky_. He hadn’t heard a word since he left and it was driving him crazy! Had he found her? And if so, how did he know exactly where she would be? Was he yet another of her dalliances here on Earth?! _Stop this! Now!!!_ She had to tell him that she hadn’t loved Rogers the way she loved him but he was too angry about what he had seen to comprehend her words. Why had he looked!? He had figured that they had been intimate simply by the way the others had spoken of them. He got the sense that their relationship was not a public one by the way no one flat out said it. So what had he expected? He had heard her moans, her cries, and he _knew_ what would have been going on… _You’re an idiot._

He had been pacing the compound since the Soldier left. He wasn’t used to putting his trust in anyone, let alone a Midgardian, but he felt a sense of understanding between himself and Barnes. And he had no other option but to trust in him. So he was waiting… impatiently waiting. And driving his housemates mad with his impatience.

He was sitting on the lawn, trying to occupy his time gazing at the clouds, when his phone rang. He almost didn’t even look at it; he hated the thing, never even wanting to learn how to use it but he had learned about how to make and receive calls at his brother’s insistence. He was going to ignore it but then he thought it might be Nya.

“Nya?” He answered without looking at the caller ID.

“Sorry Laufeyson… no.” The distinctly male voice answered.

“Did you find her, Barnes?”

“She was right where I thought she would be. She uh… she wants to talk. Can you come here?”

“If I knew where ‘here’ was then I would say yes.”

He heard the Soldiers breathy chuckle through the phone. “Yea I guess you don’t have that info. I’ll send the coordinates to a quintet and it’ll bring you here. But you’ve gotta wear normal clothes.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“That armor you always wear… you can’t wear that here. Dress down if you know what’s good for you.”

He didn’t want to dress differently… and definitely not like a Midgardian… But if this was the only way to get to her he would have to make concessions. “Fine. When should I leave?”

“I’ll have it all set in half an hour. You’ll be here by tomorrow morning.” With that he hung up. Loki walked back into the compound and let himself in to Nya’s room. He remembered she just grabbed a jacket and a bag and left. He figured he would pass his time by finding a bag in her closet and packing some clothes for her. Opening the drawers, however, revealed that there wasn’t really much in the way of clothing there for her. He was staring at the practically bare closet and dresser, wondering what sort of a life she had had on Midgard if _this_ was the state of her wardrobe, and did not notice the redhead leaning on the doorframe.

“She was only here for a week before she left for that mission in Russia. And even then she wasn’t here every night. So she hadn’t moved everything in. Not sure what happened to it all when she disappeared.”

“It pains me to know she suffered so much in the last twelve years… She was always so strong and full of life…” He had picked up a green top from her drawer and was rubbing it through his hands absentmindedly.

“She is still that person. When she woke up… a lot of us were staying in Wakanda. The king was kind enough to give us rooms since the compound was demolished in the final battle against Thanos. I had never met her… when I became part of the team she had already disappeared. She met a lot of the team that day; she had met Sam briefly before that mission and they had Steve in common, Bucky was staying with Steve for a bit so she only met him the other day. But I liked her from the beginning. We talked a lot… both of us being enhanced was something we had in common.” At that the young witch allowed her red magic to flow around her fingers in demonstration. “She was always kind and I could see a strength inside her that kept her from freaking out at her situation.”

“Why did you all not stay with her or bring her with you when you returned?”

“We needed to come back to oversee things here and help people again… we couldn’t stay away forever. And she chose to leave before we did. Apparently she went back to Russia looking for answers to what happened to her. But I believe she has always remained that woman you knew. Incidentally… how closely did you know her?” She gave him a raised eyebrow look and he figured she had guessed already at the answer.

“Hehe… careful young witchling… you appear to be picking up her mannerisms.” They chuckled at the truth in this before he continued. “We courted in Asgard… for years we courted in secret. Shortly before her banishment I… *sigh* I proposed to her. So you could say we were as close as two people in love could possibly be.”

She gave him a sad smile, and Loki could sense the grief and sadness below her happy exterior. “I can see it you know… the connection between you. She still feels it. Even though she didn’t remember you until last night… She knew you meant something to her. You’ll get through this.”

“Thank you witchling.” He meant it. Hearing someone who could be considered her friend say that she saw the love between them (even though she didn’t say that word specifically) meant a lot to him.

“You might want to just magic up some clothes to take for her.” She said and turned to leave before turning back to him one more time. “Oh and you can call me Wanda if you want… but witchling works too.” She smiled at him and left.

He did as she suggested and magicked up some clothes. He was tempted to only pack green - the desire to claim her in front of everyone by her being clothed in his colors was strong - but figured that was way too forward for where they were at this moment. His phone buzzed again and he answered; Bucky told him to go to the roof and get in the jet and they would see him soon. He did as he was told but remembered in the elevator to the landing pad that he had been asked to change, so he changed into his solid black suit before boarding the jet. Before he knew it, he was airborne and headed for an unknown part of this realm.

__________________________________________________________________________

She had been pacing for the last hour. Shortly after breakfast, Bucky had told her Loki would be arriving very shortly; Shuri and Okoye had been standing on a landing above the open area where she was walking simply watching her. “Who knew she could be so nervous. And over someone like _that_.” Okoye was still trying to understand what Bucky had told Shuri, who had subsequently told her friend. Of all the people to win the warriors heart… the villain of New York? Really? It was nearly impossible to wrap her head around, even given the whole “raised together, memories stolen” scenario.

“I’m shocked too. The man who destroyed New York and one of SHIELD’s top agents? I suppose stranger things have happened…” Okoye raised her eyebrow in question at the princess’s statement. “Not sure what, but something I guess.” To be fair, it was crazy to see her this distraught over someone who was considered one of Earth’s greatest villains. But what was throwing them both off was the fact that it was _her_ acting like this; she was alway so reserved and well adjusted - even when she had woken up with power she didn’t know she had, it was odd to see her stressing out like this. “Oi! You’re going to wear a trench in my floors!” Shuri shouted.

Nya stopped suddenly and whirled around. “Piss off!” She yelled out and then stuck her middle finger up at the two women who were laughing in response before she continued her pacing.

“Perhaps he’ll be able to calm her.” Okoye nodded in the direction of the man who was leaning up against the archway to the gardens, smirking and trying not to laugh at his nervous new friend. The two decided to go in search of something new and give the two some privacy.

“You know, I think they’re right… I can see a small divot in the floor already!” He chuckled as he walked to her, ignoring her glare, placing his hand on her upper arm and rubbed up and down in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. “Come on… tell me.”

“Tell you what, Robot?” She knew he wouldn’t like the nickname but she couldn’t help it. She wasn’t in the nicest mood, nervousness had taken over and she was venting in the wrong way.

“You’re freaking out so I’m gonna let that go.” She felt herself shrink under his pointed glare. “Obviously you’re worried about seeing him. Why?”

She sighed before meeting his questioning stare and trying to explain. “We walked through my past memories - I already explained this. But what you don’t understand is that I watched it… like it was a movie or something. I watched my life but I _felt_ all the emotions as they were happening to past me. It was weird, like I was living those moments and feelings all over again, just as they were before… but I- I felt myself falling in love with him… I felt as each tiny part of my heart and soul were won by him… By the end, I knew I still loved him. Then he went poking around in my Earth memories…”

“So you… what? Think he won’t want you anymore?” She couldn’t meet his eyes at that question; he knew that was part the worry in her mind. He figured there was only one way to get her to just spit up everything she was feeling… it would probably hurt him a bit but he figured it’d be worth it in the end. “Come on Nya. You don’t honestly think that he was celibate! The guy was a fuckin’ prince! You already said that you figured he was with other girls! Do you really think he was sitting there all ‘woe-is-me’ brooding about someone he didn’t even remember? You sure as hell didn’t! I mean he probably didn’t get as much ass as Thor - I mean he was the heir apparent and all macho but… Loki definitely had his pick. So what if you fucked Captain America for a couple years or whatever? He probably fucked princesses from all over the universe! I mean between the two of you he probably fucked more women than you would ever want to know about! So why the fuck are you wor-”

He didn’t get to finish that sentence… Nya delivered punch to his face and then roundhouse kicked him in the chest, sending him flying back into the opposite wall. Bucky looked up from where he lay crumpled on the floor against the wall. He could practically _see_ the steam coming from her ears and her eyes were glowing a brilliant cobalt blue and wisps of magic in the same color was leaking from her hands. He couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his lips.

She was riled… he’d caused her emotions to finally hit the breaking point and was… smiling? _Seriously?!_ “What. The. Actual. Fuck. Was. That?! Seriously Barnes?! What do you think you’re doing saying all those things to me??”

“Well just telling it like it is, you goddamn crazy woman.” He said the last part under his breath as he tried to sit up, failing to realize that her heritage made her more enhanced than just giving her the use of magic.

“‘Crazy woman’?! _Crazy_? Really? Is it so crazy to be afraid that the man you pledged your love, heart, soul, mind, and body to… the man you promised your forever to… is it so crazy to worry that he encountered someone else along his travels who he desired more? Is it so crazy to worry that - even if he _didn’t_ find someone more beautiful, sexier, more vivacious - even if he didn’t… that he could view me as tainted now that he knows I’ve been with someone else? To worry that his rejection would literally tear my very being in two and destroy me forever?! Is that so crazy?!”

She was so caught up in her rant, pouring her worries and heart out, angry tears streaming down her face, that she didn’t realize they were not alone anymore. She didn’t realize that Bucky’s gaze was no longer on her, but was focused just past her body. “That is really what you fear, sweetling?”

Her eyes grew as wide as saucers and she whirled around to see none other than her raven-haired love standing next to T’Challa in a perfectly tailored, all black suit and tie ( _a sexy-as-hell suit and tie_ , she thought). He, for his part, was mesmerized by her in that moment. He felt what was left of his heart breaking at the sight of the tears streaming down her face, but he was amazed and - if he was being honest - a bit turned on by seeing her power being unleashed as it was in that moment; he always found her extraordinarily sexy when she was using her magic. “H-how much d-did you hear?”

“Enough.” He approached her now, arms immediately going around her trembling body and he embraced her in the most comforting hug she had ever experienced. “Enough to know I am the one to blame for all of your worry and doubt.” She pushed away just enough tomeet his eyes with a questioning gaze. “Can we speak privately darling?”

“The gardens are down those steps. I think they will serve your purpose well.” T’Challa pointed to the stairs behind Nya and nodded to Bucky, signaling they should leave the couple alone. Bucky gave one more glance at his new friends before following the African King back inside, pleased that his unorthodox tactic seemed to have had the desired effect on his friend.

“Come sweetheart… we have much to discuss it would seem.” He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead and took her hand, leading her toward the staircase and down into the beautiful gardens.


	17. Chapter 17

The gardens in Wakanda were probably the most beautiful of any on Earth. Made up of the most exotic looking plants you could ever imagine and even some you couldn’t imagine. Nya remembered having been woken up by a nightmare about the explosion one night after waking up and couldn’t seem to find sleep again. So she had slipped from her room and wandered; she traversed every floor of the palace (even some of the places she probably shouldn’t have been allowed to go, i.e. Shuri’s lab - oops) and eventually, everything inside explored, found herself out on the back terrace and wandering down the steps she was descending now. She thought back to the worried and slightly annoyed expression on Okoye’s face when she had found her sleeping at the base of one of the larger trees in the garden the following morning. Gardens and nature had always brought her peace and helped center her mind - and now she knew why. Whenever she was upset, they’d had a fight, he’d had a bad day… whenever anything happened, they would find themselves in the Asgardian gardens; once there they would talk or sit or cuddle until whatever the issue was was resolved or was at least tucked away for the time being. Gardens centered her, brought her peace… but only because they subconsciously reminded her of her real source of peace, of her anchor.

Glancing up through her eyelashes at the god next to her she found him gazing at their surroundings in… was that awe? She giggled slightly at his expression, earning herself a questioning glance from Loki. “Is that amazement on your face at something _Midgardians_ accomplished?”

For his part he tried to look appalled but of course she saw through it. “I suppose they did do something… impressive…” He grumbled. “If only slightly.” This petulant response from him only made her laugh harder, which, in turn, caused the god of mischief to chuckle and smile wide at how adorable she looked in that moment. He was thrown back into his mothers gardens… her whirling around in the floating lights, laughing, smiling… back when things made sense and the horrors of the universe hadn’t happened yet. Meeting her gaze, he offered her a small smile before continuing their stroll.

“You said we had much to talk about. Would you like to begin? Because, I for one, have no idea where to start.” She hoisted herself up and sat cross-legged on a large boulder off to the side of the path, hands in her lap, watching as Loki continued pacing. After a few minutes passed, he took a deep breath and leaned against the trunk of a tree on the opposite side of the path from the rock she was sitting on, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the ground.

“I’m an ass.”

“I beg your pardon?” she asked, clearly not expecting _that_.

“I’m an ass. I did exactly what you told me not to do and of course now I’m regretting every second of it. I knew… I _knew_ what would be in that memory and I still chose to go in there. I invaded your privacy and I apologize.” This all came out in one breath and completely threw her off. She didn’t expect an apology right out of the starting gate and she definitely didn’t expect him to be so passionate about the circumstances either; all she could do was nod in response. “I had figured you had… _been_ … with the Captain based on the way everyone spoke of your closeness and how concerned they were about you in the wake of his passing. I should have known better. This whole mess is on me.” He hung his head, afraid to meet her eyes and find rejection there.

“You’re always so quick to ignore others advice, Lok. Your mother told you this often enough. Normally you would heed my advice though… so what was different? Was it simply that it was an… intimate moment?”

“I suppose it was because it was an intimate moment… which did not include me.” Again, he couldn’t meet her gaze. It was like they were teens again, skirting the topic of their mutual attraction. “I suppose it was silly of me…”

“Let me ask you a question…” He waved his hand, asking her to continue. “Were you with anyone else while we were parted?”

“I-I..um…” His whole face went scarlet and every other thing but her was apparently the most interesting item in the world at that moment. “Well… y-yes… I was with a _few_ others…”

She let out a heavy sigh at hearing the confession. “As much as it pains me to hear… I understand… we had no memory of each other. How were we to know we had made promises? You were a prince… you always did have women throwing themselves at you. I have no right to be angry with your choices. It hurts now to know but… I can’t fault you for it.”

He crossed to her quickly, grabbing her hands in his and pressing kisses to her knuckles. “My darling, believe me! They meant nothing! They were simply distractions. It didn’t seem… right I suppose. Something was always missing… and that something was the deep love and connection we hav- had.”

“I know, my love. It was the same for me…” He gave her a questioning look before she continued. “Steve had one love - Peggy. They fell in love during the war, before he crashed the plane in the sea and was frozen for seventy years. His love for her didn’t leave him. I knew I could never replace her or mean more to him than she did - and I was fine with that. Like you said… it was a distraction, something to help the ache in our souls. I knew something was missing too. I always felt broken, empty, like there was a hole in my heart.” The light that began shining out of his eyes at where he hoped she was going with this was dazzling to her. _Gods, he’s so handsome…_ “And that hole didn’t feel like it was filling, the breaks mending, until I saw you again. Even without my memories I was drawn to you, Loki. So I need you to know that Steve… he wasn’t even close to you.”

She expected to see acceptance, even hesitant happiness in his eyes, but instead she saw pure undiluted joy. “You called me ‘my love’.” He said, raising her hand to his lips again, his eyes piercing into hers. “Say it again?”

She blushed and tore her gaze from his. “Loki…”

“Tell me Nymera… _please_ … I must know… how do you feel now, knowing what we were? Should I hope against everything that there is some of that affection till remaining?” She, in turn, pulled one of his hands to her lips, placing the sweetest of kisses on his knuckles. He couldn’t help the gasp that left his lips or the shock that went through his body at the connection, at finally feeling her lips on his skin again. “Say it again…”

She shook her head and stared into his gorgeous green eyes, “It’s as though time started again for me… my feelings were merely on hold… My love.” He surged forward, connecting their lips in a heated kiss and wrapping his arms around her to hold her as close as possible. “It was always you… It’s always been you… It will always be you, Loki.”

Just hearing those words come out of her gorgeous lips made him happier than he had ever known. He kissed her passionately, pouring ever ounce of love, happiness, joy, and longing into it and she returned it just as fervently. He felt her hand move and separated a tiny bit from her to see what she was doing. Her hand moved to her chest and then under the neck of her t-shirt, pulling up a chain that he hadn’t noticed resting on her neck. His eyes went wide when he saw the two items that hung on the end of the silver chain. She pulled the necklace out from under her shirt and let it drop on her chest. She watched as Loki’s wide eyes became watery and he hesitantly reached a hand out to her chest, lightly tracing the items with his fingers.

“How?” He said with an incredulous voice, eyes trained on the necklace in absolute awe.

“I told you once, I never took it off. It was my way of keeping you with me. I was wearing them both the night I was cast out.”

“I thought you weren’t wearing the ring. I figured they were both in your room in the palace… and when Surtur… When we brought about Ragnorak… I thought them both lost, along with every other item that was tied to you. Where were they?”

“Here. In Wakanda. I must have been wearing them on the final mission.” He looked at her in slight confusion again and she stopped to gather her words. “When I landed in Ian’s flat, I was wearing my Asgardian armor. Ian said it was too torn and demolished to salvage and had dressed me in some of his clothes after I had landed. The fall knocked me out and that combined with Frigga’s magic, well my memory was not very good. So I woke in a strange bed, wearing strange clothes, but with a chain around my neck with a blue and green pendent and a beautiful ring hanging from it. I took them off to keep them safe, but they were never far from me. Eventually I asked Ian about them and he said he had found them. Neither of us knew what their history was so I thought nothing of his answer. But I _felt_ that they were important. I’m not sure why I put them on before that final mission… but I’m very glad I did.”

She brought her watery eyes up to meet his and caressed his cheek with her hand. They smiled at each other before she coaxed him to her and connected their lips again, and again, the feeling of reunion, joy, love, and passion swelled up inside them both. With every moment that passed, their desire for each other grew greater and greater. Eventually, Loki pulled back and separated their lips - which earned a whimper from her. He chuckled at her response as he traced his thumb over her pouting bottom lip. “Dearest… as much as I would _love_ to continue this… we _do_ need to talk. So much has happened and I am sure it has spawned more questions in your mind. I am here to answer those questions, so please, ask me whatever you desire.” There was a determination in his eyes, like he knew he wouldn’t like this process but he knew it was necessary.

She went back to her perch and thought for a moment. Now that he was letting her ask anything, she didn’t know where to start. “My parents… Do you know where they are? Skaati said that I was the only thing standing between her and the throne. Does that mean…”

He sat next to her on the rock and took her hand gingerly in his. When he looked into her eyes, she knew what the answer would be. “I am so sorry my love.”

“How? When?”

“As far as I can make out, it was most likely near the time we entered our teenage years. I am sure mother and Odin would have received word about their deaths but of course they would choose to keep that from you. Odin was very good at keeping secrets from those he considered ‘family’.” The disgust in his voice made her heart break. She remembered the time when he strove to impress Odin and simply do best for the realm and for the crown. Oh how she wished she had been there for when his life turned upside down. “As for the how… they had fled Valar with the living and once they were settled in another realm, they took their warriors and they sought out Skaati, intent on eliminating the threat to their home and their people. But sh-she… must have caught them unawares… I am so sorry Nya.”

She watched as a drop of liquid hit his hand. She was crying? She barely knew these people… they had dropped her off in her young years and had never returned. At least now she knew that they didn’t _choose_ to never come back, they _couldn’t_. “It’s alright. Thank you. It’s odd, you know? I didn’t really even know them but now that they’re gone… I don’t know. *sigh* It just hurts more than I thought it would.”

“I know darling, I know. I wish you had known them. I wish that you had been able to grow up in their presence. I know they would be so proud of the beautiful and fierce woman you have become.” She sighed again and rested her head on his shoulder. He looked down lovingly at the gorgeous woman beside him and pressed a kiss to her head. “So have you finally accepted who you are, sweetling?”

With a heavy sigh, she brought her head up to lock eyes with him again. Had she accepted it? _Really_ accepted it? All of it? “I believe in you… in us. I know I lived in Asgard, I know I am a sorcerer and warrior of that realm. But have I actually accepted that I am all the things Skaati has accused me of? I’m not sure… How can it be true? I have NO knowledge of her, of Valar… And to say I have some weapon in my possession? I mean… come on! If I had some powerful artifact in my possession I think I would know now.”

He met her gaze, but she knew. _He knows_. She could feel it. “I know darling, her tale does have a few questionable pieces. I know not how to refute her claims but I’m sure we ca-”

“You know!” He looked shocked at her words but this didn’t surprise her. Loki had gone a long while with no one to call him out on his bullshit.

“I don’t know what you’re on about darling. I know as much as you.”

“Don’t try it Odinson. Or have you truly forgotten that I can sense lies as well as you.” He knew this was true… he hadn’t forgotten. It was one of the things he loved about her; she would always call him on his shit, always asking him to tell her what was really wrong or what had really happened… well about the important things - things like the ridiculously embellished stories he and Thor would tell were things she just let happen because it was entertaining. “Now. What do you know, Loki?”

“Princess… please. This is not the time. Besides… if I am to shed light on the current situation with our other-realm guest, it would be best to do it with everyone else in attendance. Do you not agree?” She could tell that he was trying to get out of telling her this but she figured that he was right and that her friends should know if it is something that would have bearing over their potential fight against Skaati.

She nodded before rising and extending a hand to him. He looked from her hand to her face before taking her hand gently and rising. “You make a good point my darling.”

“I’m glad you see it my way.” He said as he tucked her arm in the crook of his elbow and began to walk in the same direction, leading them deeper into the gardens.

She stopped suddenly and yanked on his arm to get him to turn to face her. “So then. Lets go.”

“I’m sorry?”

“We’re going back to the compound. And then you’re going to talk, Odinson.”

“But darling…” He had planted his feet and was refusing to follow her in the opposite direction.

“No ‘but’s. March, Your Highness.” She walked behind him and pushed him forward, chuckling as he made a surprised shriek.

“You do know it is not Odinson, right?” He said petulantly, if a bit hesitantly.

“I know. But they raised you dearest. And your blood may be Jotun, but I do not see any of Laufey in you… I don’t see much of Odin in you either but… I see Frigga in you so much!She was your mother; _that_ is what matters most. So, because of that, because she and Thor are your family… I call you Odinson.”

“As you wish.” He couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips at her acceptance of what he was by birth… and her insistence on who he _really_ was. They walked back up into the palace, and despite everything, she smiled as she felt his hand slip into hers; even if this while thing brought about more questions, she felt a sense of peace settle over them both…. until Okoye rushed into the main hall with a sense of urgency about her.

“Outside, now!” She turned and ran out of the room, the other two directly behind her. They went ran out of the palace and down onto the large green, hilly area where, not long ago, the strongest forces of Earth had faced down the Chitauri army led by Thanos. There they met T’Challa, Shuri, Nakia, and the Dora Milaje, all decked out in battle armor and spread out to protect their city.

“What is it? What’s happened?” Nya asked as Loki changed into his full battle armor (and the helmet, of course) and took his place next to his love. No one answered her but Shuri pointed out in front of them. They could see the force field that surrounded Wakanda and just outside it, Skaati and her henchman, the big tall grayish skinned beast. “What do they want?”

“They haven’t said anything yet. We do not know what they are waiting for.” Nakia volunteered while still keeping her eyes trained on the aliens at her country’s doorstep. But now, the big beast raised a axe/hammer hybrid weapon - which was way bigger than any weapon Nya had seen - and smashed it into the opaque barrier. Everyone gripped a bit tighter onto their weapons in preparation in case he happened to break through.

He beat on it a few more times before taking his original position just over Skaati’s shoulder. Then she said something that revealed exactly what she was waiting for. “I see you! Do not hide from me!” And just like that… Nya knew; she knew that Skaati had been waiting for her. Steeling herself, she magicked on her SHIELD tactical suit and started walking toward the border. She didn’t get more than ten steps away before a firm but gentle grip on her arm stopped her.

She turned to Loki and raised her eyebrow at him. They stared at each other for another minute before he sighed deeply and released her. She turned forward again to start heading back toward the invaders, only to see four Dora Milaje standing in front of her, causing her to stop. _Please tell me they aren’t trying to stop me._ She brought herself to her full height and held her head high. And just when she thought they would step closer and force her back behind the safety of the line of warriors, they parted, two on each side, and allowed her to walk through, closing ranks behind her and following her to the barrier. “We have your back Darling. We are ready to help if you need us.” His voice echoed in her mind and a wave of security enveloped her as she continued on.

The women stopped a few feet from the barrier and again, Nya brought herself up her full height with what she hopped was an intimidating posture and look. “Finally. Hello _Niece_.”

 _Niece?!_ Nya looked at her carefully… and _didn’t_ detect a trace of a lie. “What are you doing in this realm?”

“Ahhh so they _were_ lies. My spies told me you did not know of me. Clearly I need to relieve them of their duties.” The sneer on her face as she said that sent a chill through Nya’s body. _This woman is sadistic._ “Are you prepared to surrender?”

“Surrender? You honestly believe that I would surrender _anything_ to some random alien who has threatened my realm with violence?! Whatever it is you think I have, I can assure you that I do not have it! So leave this realm and you will not be cut down where you stand.”

“Your threats are ridiculous _child_!!” The big gray man roared at her. She took a step backwards in shock. He _was_ actually terrifying.

“Ulir! Silence!” _Ah so he has a name?_ “You _are_ in possession of that which I seek. I suppose the young sorcerer you associate with is hesitant to part with certain information. Very interesting… Well, darling niece. I am giving you a fortnight… two Earth weeks, niece. Learn who you are… learn about _what_ you are. Then come to surrender what is mine to me. You will see that this is the only option child.” She sneered at Nya, “Look at the life you’ve built here… you wouldn’t want anything to change in your little world, would you?” The smirk on her face was unsettling to say the least.

“You will leave in the meantime. This is not a request. You dare harm any in this realm and I will personally see to your demise. I do not care if I ever know the truth… I will end you myself.”

“You know not how flawed that action would be.” She chuckled darkly. “But fine… I’ll play your little game. For now…” And with that she faded away from in front of their eyes. She stared at the void in front of her and felt her mind moving a million miles an hour. What was she missing?! Eventually she turned and led her protectors back to the line of waiting warriors. She didn’t meet anyones gaze as she grabbed Loki by the arm and dragged him back to the palace.

“Get on the jet. _Now_. I’ll get Bucky and fill in T’Challa. We’re going home and you’re explaining this whole thing.” He got on the jet and tried not to pace while he waited for her to come back. _Why do I feel as though I’m in trouble?_ When she came back she had Bucky, T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye in tow. “Everybody buckle up. We’re going to go as fast as this baby can go.” She sat down in the pilot’s seat and fired it up. Loki sat in the co-pilot’s seat and looked at her. Even when she was brooding and clearly frustrated he found her enchanting.

He knew he needed to tell her all that he had figured out but he was worried about causing her to run away again. He knew she was so strong - the strongest woman he’d ever met - but too many revelations in such a short amount of time was enough to break even the strongest person in the universe.

He had spent as much time as he could since his mother died trying to understand who the woman he loves really is. He had stumbled across a very brief passage talking about the ‘sacrifice of the King and Queen of Valar for their people’, but how it was not enough to secure an overall victory. This had sent him on a spiral into every book he could find, even taking some from Sakaar (he had _definitely_ been surprised to find a library of all things on that planet!) and quickly magicking some volumes from the Asgardian library into his dimensional pocket before summoning Surtur.

Now he was going to have to tell her everything he knew or thought he knew. But he knew he needed to. He had used his magic to listen in on her conversation with Skaati and knew he needed to tell her everything he knew to help her prepare for the upcoming battle he knew was going to come. He just didn’t want to lose her in the process; but this time he was going to hope for the best and try that whole optimism thing. He just got her back, surely the universe wasn’t going to screw him like that; he wanted a forever with his beautiful sorceress and he would do everything in his power to ensure that happens.


End file.
